The news is getting stranger and more comical and just plain wieird these days.
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Twisted News Reports...
Political Section - Election Coverage Section
Clintonangry over pimp comment, gets newscaster suspended - file in teh grow up and get over it lady. You were the part of that tag team that pimped the historic Capitol nightspots, like the Lincoln bedroom. You're the only candidate to send your cosmetically challenged daughter out stumping for yoyu. You ARE pimping poor Chelsea!!
I know I'll get flack for that comment, but it is my blog...
Obama, the chocolate Osama is gaining - dare I say it...Brownie Points in the primaries, and causing the Brooding Bleach Blonde Witch to go into railing conniptions. Obama really offers a lot, too. To instigate his plans would mean a definite change: we all pay more taxes, have fewer natural rights, and will see more [useless] laws being written than any other ime in history.
McCain- The gloating nuclear pumpkin head is about as conservative as I am vegetarian. Let's see, tonight's menu... BEEF lasagna, a teaspoon of salad, BACON vinaigrette dressing, and for dessert Taco Bell Stuffed STEAK burritos, followed up with a CHICKEN taco, and a couple of Long Jon Silver's Fish Planks. Gawsh, I am starving, just like McCain for the"power seat." Truth is, he'll see what he can do to eliminate citizen's rights, will increase the tax burden paid by the average Joe, and bankrupt us all.
Huckabee: He is persistent, pesky, stands out with something refreshingly different, and sincerely has ideas that would eliminate FDR's temporary tax. Heck, Huck, let's put the government on your diet plan... Shut the Infernal Revenue Service down entirely. That way we have one less private corporation trying to behave like a despotic dictator. David and Goliath references aside, this may be the only candidate with something to say, who should actually be listened to. There is nothing wrong with conservative government, and nothing right about liberal government. Stay to that course and you'll be my fave. Oh, and while you are at it, make the insurance companies give the self employed the same exact coverage and costs as those big companies pay. Quit gouging the small business person with expensive coverage, or the elderly, or those with diabetes, cancer, heart problems, and congenital disorders. Take care of people for a change. Thanks for a refreshing viewpoint, Mike.
Religion,
This is a short list...
Agnostics say prove there isa God - I say ok. Try building a fingerprint by yourself, without materials, cloning, lab coats, or DNA.
Atheists, - Gotcha earlier. you cannot logically deny that one exists without admitting the existence of the one you're trying to deny. Get over it. God is. Don't believe me? Try the agnostic Science Fair Experiment above.
Catholics and the Rest of the Kennedys - losing touch with reality, identity, discipline, and untold millions in lawsuits.. behave yourselves!
Protestants - your all still protesting - but what are you protesting about? Still some of the things a few denominations are doing violates the very Scripture you profess to believe.
- Thus Ends the Religious Beat.
From the just plain weird department all over the rock.
Mentally Disturbed women in Iraq spark new terror threat to the world, as they are being convinced to become "mommy bombs,"complete with a fake baby bulge containing high explosives. Who was it that said there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Hillary???
Man goes to jail for giving a 3 year old a gun, when the child shoots himself in the head with it. I would say the appropriate sentence for the man is a healthy dose of daily water-boarding in prison.
Has Brit stayed out of or in rehab lately? I lost count.
OJ set to be televised going to jail again. It will be a low speed chase involving B Magli shoes, a misshapen glove, and a 'Blanco Bronco." Has anyone thought to run a toxicology test on this idiot, and see is he has chemical residues of hallucinogens in his blood.
Hillary facing staff reductions, as Press Manager leaves. No lion tamer is going to stay in a cage long with a psycho animal. And that;s just Bill...
Russian Bombers Buzz the Nimitz. Are these guys drinking brake fluid again? Geez, talk about stupid.
Valentine Candy found to be old and containing worms. Vegetarian Turkish Delight,eh? Don't make too big a stink of it or they'll charge extra for its rarity. Remember that coffee that was made via an animal defecating it to season the beans... for what was it $00/oz? Ugh!
MSNBC Suspends Journalist over Comment about Clinton Campaign. Could we suspend Hillary? Like over an ant mound? It's fine if she wants to tread on anyone's feet, rent the Lincoln bedroom out, or date Janet Reno, but God forbid anyone should criticize her, her politics, her husband, or her child. And people want someone so thin-skinned, and weak as a leader??? Confuses me... NBC needs to tell Hillary to take a powder, and put the reported back on the beat. you're wrong NBC, so admit it. It is the reporter who got the bum deal.
Berkeley reviews initial Marine Ouster - I say the marines, police, fire department, army, navy, everyone should pull out of Berkeley. Then we send i the pest control people to rid us of a noxious pest. Sorry if I get under any of you Berkeley folks, but I find your slam at our wonderful military personnel to be about as unAmerican as selling government secrets to the enemy. These people are defending your rights to be nut-cases, if you choose to be. I cannot let the lives of my friends who are risking their for you be spat on.
Would Somebody PLEASE get Martha Stewart back in jail? She was on my favorite channel there - I didn't have to see her. It is funny how "some" people can break the law and get a paid vacation, isn't it?
Democrats Worried about Fractured Party - that's new? Any real Democrat is only in it for themselves anyway.
Mom abandons boy in mall. The 3 year old was found wandering around. Yep, that's what a 3 yr old will do. I've beena parent to more than one of 'em. Did I mention the idiot mother is a wanted fugitive. Why didn't the police stake out the home of the 3 yr old to find her?
Dolly Postpones a Tour - If you've ever seen her in person, you would marvel that she can walk. Some trademarks may not be worth keeping, and hopefully she will recover from her chronic back pain.
They are letting people off the hook in the Steroid investigation. The trainers are plea bargaining, and getting away with distributing the stuff, the owners and coaches have encouraged it use, apparently (if they want to keep their jobs, they better find a way to make the numbers...), the players are skulking around taking the juice. They are all wrong. Put 'em all in jail and get it over with. Save the taxpayers a lot of money.
Mummified body found in AZ bathtub?? workers cleaning an abandoned apartment out find the remains in a dirt filled bathtub, but I won't describe what else they were cleaning. This is so unbelievable. The owners didn't think to check an apartment they believed was abandoned since last August? they don't like cash flow or something?
Conspiracy theorists lost their bid to prove the movie National Treasure a factual piece. Ask the U.S. State Department about he Great Seal...
OK THRE YOU HAVE IT. THESE ARE ALL SOMEWHAT ALTERED ACCOUNTS OF NEWS REPORTS FROM VARIOUS SERVICES. YOU GOTTA WONDER WHY??? I GUESS THERE ARE NO BOUNDARIES TO THE PRESS, UNLESS YOU WORK FOR NBC. THEN THEY ARE ONLY SILLY ONES...
I wish you all a great laugh, even at my expense, because we need to laugh with and at each other to keep us happy and make us humbled. I may take a few days off to celebrate my 21st anniversary with the world's greatest woman. God knows she has taught me to love, to live encouraged, and to have no fear. It isn't about what I get, as much as what i want her to have. Have a marvelous President's Day, and a wonderful Valentine's Day.
And Guys, if you ever need some unique ideas for your anniversary, let me know. I plan something different for every one of ours.
My very best to you all,
Lou
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