The new Priest at his first Mass in one of those beautiful churches in Orlando was so nervous he could hardly speak. He asked the old Priest what he should do.

The old Priest said he should put a little gin or vodka in his water glass before the Mass and this would relax him.

The next Sunday the new Priest filled his water glass with gin and talked up a storm. After the Mass he asked the old Priest how he did.

The old Priest said you were relaxed enough, but there are a few things that must be straightened out.

1) There are TEN Commandments, NOT TWELVE.

2) There are TWELVE Apostles, not TEN.

3) David SLEW Goliath, he did not BEAT THE SHIT out of him.

4) We do not refer to Jesus as the LATE J.C..

5) Next Sunday there is a TAFFY PULLING contest at St. Peter's NOT a PETER PULLING contest at St. Taffy's.

6) We DO NOT Refer to the Father, Son & Holy Ghost as Big Daddy, Junior and The Spook. 

Please, don't get insulted...it's Just a joke.