Although there is little doubt that my typical blog posting is full of humor from start to finish… I’ve never written a blog that was designed at the outset to be humorous. Okay, so that first part is a stretch...
At any rate, the Washington Post apparently periodically asks its readers to submit neologisms, which was a new word to me when I ran across it. According to dictionary.com, the definition of neologism is as follows:
- a new word, meaning, usage, or phrase.
- the introduction or use of new words or new senses of existing words.
- a new doctrine, esp. a new interpretation of sacred writings.
In this case, readers submitted new meanings for common words. Here are some of the winners:
Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
and my personal favorite:
Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
I hope that warranted a chuckle or two. If you haven't gotten enough, you can find more at this site.
Ken Tharp
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