Excerpts from a dog's/cat's Diary

I received this in an email this morning and wanted to share it with the rest of you pet lovers!  If you live with cats and dogs...you can really appreiciate this.

Excerpts from a dog's diary

8:00am Dog Food! My favorite thing!
9:00am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm Lunch!! My Favorite thing
1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00pm Got to play ball!! My favorite thing!
8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00pm Sleeping in my bed!! My favorite thing

Excerpts from a cat's diary

Day 893 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling object. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me
going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
B@st@rds!! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I
was placed in solitary conferment for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means, and how
to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other
prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to
return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I
observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him
in an elevated cell, so he is safe..for now..