So for the past few months my wife and I have been looking for a new home for ourselves.

We feel like it's time to make the move to one level living and stop lugging groceries, laundry, and ourselves from downstairs to upstairs each time we come into our garage.

OK, no big deal, I think, I'm a trained professional with years of experience finding hundreds of great homes for other buyers. How much trouble could it be to find one for my little bride and I.

Well after finding two "perfect homes" and being unable to buy either of them, I'm thinking this may be a little bit harder than I thought.

First we find this great home in the north part of town, a little bit further north than we really wanted to be but I was willing to go a few extra miles to work so I start doing some research prior to making an offer. This home has been on the market since October of 2006 and I find out it's a corporate transfer so they're ready to look at an offer and get moving I think.

Wrong! After making an initial offer which was rejected out of hand, I find out one of the partners is a school teacher and she won't be moving until school is out in mid-June.

OK, no problem, we have a house right now and we don't have to sell it in order to buy that one so I talk to the listing agent about be very, very flexible on the closing date. We can close right now and they can rent it back from us until June or we can wait until June to close; their choice, let's just make a deal.

No problem says the seller but we're not taking any less than full list price they reply. No sale for me, I like the house but not enough to pay a premium for it, so we move on.

Three days ago another "perfect house" comes on the market. One level, cul-de-sac, big yard, screened porch, nice condition, and in a great location across the street from our major lake! I call up the wife and we go look at it. My wife and I walk though saying things like "this is nice, I like this, I like that" etc., classic buying signals so we go back to my office and write up an offer. I should have got a clue when the listing company said they had 3 showings scheduled after our at 5:00 PM but I write up an offer for a few thousand less than list price anyway.

Listing agent calls and says "dang it Jim, they've had 8 showings on the house today and already have 5 more scheduled tomorrow so they're just going to sit on your offer and see if another one might come in."

Oops, I'm thinking, we better buy that house or we're gonna lose out again so I call my little bride to rush down to my office and we write up another offer for full price with a quick closing. I fax it to listing agent.

She calls back later and says well, the seller wants to change the inspection by 3 days, time to respond to inspection by ONE DAY, provide a home warranty from a different company even though it costs them more money, AND stay in the house "a few days after closing" so they can finish packing, AND they're still going to sit on your offer until tomorrow.

All of a sudden I'm getting a bad feeling about this deal too. I call up the wife and share my concerns with her. She says "make them do something". I say what should I do, take my shotgun down there and make them sign our offer? She calms down and I get back to work to earn some money to pay for our new house.

Listing agent calls and says well, we have another offer, I'm going over tonight and discuss with sellers.

I say fine, I'm not paying over list, you have a full price offer, no conditions except home inspection, and a pre-approvel letter from a local lender; we can close and do this deal with no problems.

This morning I get a call from listing agent; Jim, your offer has been rejected, they sold it to the other offer.

At this point I don't care so I say thanks, and hang up.

So this afternoon it's back on the hunt; we find another house we like in a lower price range than we've been looking but it's very nice with a screened prorch, board fenced back yard, nice kitchen, split bedrooms, etc.,etc.

Also in the same neighborhood there's still another house with a 3 car garage, magnificent view of the Smoky Mountains, screened gazebo overlooking a wooded hillside, 2 story but master bedroom on the main level, etc.,etc., etc.

Tomorrow we're looking at these 2 and a couple more; there's tons of houses for sale here.

However I'm thinking of getting another agent to help me; I'm not doing too hot being my own buyer. ;-)

Although I've bought lots of houses as an investor over the years it's vastly different buying one you intend to live in yourself. I found emotions creeping into the deal, I was trying to please my wife, I was also trying to make me happy with our new home purchase, and I was trying to negotiate the best deal on the best house. I wonder if it's possible to do all three successfully???

We did look at a couple of FSBOs. I'll tell you something guys, your attitude changes drastically when you look at a FSBO as a buyer; it was fun.

Every mortgage banker and real estate licensee in America should be required to buy a home for themselves a minimum of every 5 years or less. It would make you a much better professional and better qualified to serve your clients.

 

Jim Lee, CRS, ABR, GRI, ACRE, NAR Certified e-PRO Trainer
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35 Comments on Being your own buyer; a traumatic experience...............

JAN
27
2007
535,337 Points 45 Featured Posts Outside Blog
I agree - every agent should buy a home and move every 5 years. What empathy develops!  Waiting for a response, going through inspections, coordinating all the moving. Really helps to walk in our clients' shoes.
5:44pm • #1
140,383 Points 4 Featured Posts Outside Blog
There's no better education for an agent than buying and selling their own homes.  I'm on my third home in the 6 years I've been in the business.  The stress and the emotions of the process all hit home.  When I relocated last year, I hired agents to sell my old home and help us buy a new home in our new area.  Best decision I ever made.  I also got to watch these agents in action and learn a bit more about what a buyer/seller does and does not like when dealing with an agent.
5:48pm • #2
609,952 Points 244 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Jim, I'm terrible when it comes to my own deals. I pay too much and I sell too low. Last piece of land I sold I listed with one of my competitors. She did a great job and I ended up getting more for it. Even REALTORS(R) shouldn't go FSBO!
5:54pm • #3
2 Featured Posts

Jim,

interesting as the Chicago Tribune is doing a series on Baby Boomers moving into ranch homes. Problem here in the Naperville market is that there are very few ranch homes.

But, I'm betting this is just the start of the Boomer bloomlet toward one floor living. I know that I'd go crazy walking up a flight of stairs just to bring in my groceries. I always want to take the 'bag boys' home from the grocery store so they can help me unload.

Now...you could hire a buyer's agent and let him/her do all the worrying and negoiating. And, it took me an entire week to convince my spouse to move into our current house. One of my harder sales.

6:01pm • #4
259,567 Points 38 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Jim,

I can relate to your story. Hire yourself a good REALTOR and follow their advice.

   

6:03pm • #5
836,011 Points 213 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

I've had the same experience twice in the past 5 years.  The first when I bought my FINAL home but found two years later that I didn't want a 55 year old house.  Then last year when I purchased new.  I'm still undecided whether or not to sue the builder.

It's an adventure.

Lenn

7:07pm • #6
370,021 Points 62 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Buying a home, especially one a few thousand miles away, made me a better agent.  The experience I had with poor photos, no visual tour, no uploaded maps, no extra info, no remarks, no area codes on signs....the list goes on.
8:22pm • #7
141,198 Points 9 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Jim,

I love your story. I was working as a coach to a PR gal from an escrow company a few years back and she and her boyfriend had all sorts of surprises and stressful moments in buying. She said the same thing you did about people working in the business should be required to go through the process every few years! She used it as a great training experience with her escrow officers so they could understand why all those folks they were working with easily "lost" it!!!!

I also loved what you said about the difference in visiting the FSBOs when you are a potential buyer!!!

8:24pm • #8
5 Featured Posts
Jim- Your post is very timely for me because I am considering moving this year. I have lived in my house for 8.5 years and while I remember the experience, not all my memories are vivid ones.  You have given me more to think about.  Thank you.
9:46pm • #9
10 Featured Posts

I wasn't a Realtor® when I last moved - twice within 18 months. Moved from OH to AZ, then back to OH again. Used the same agent for both. He was fantastic - took care of everything so I didn't have to sweat the small stuff. I try to remember how important that was to me to just put everything in his hands.

So, do the wife think she's needs a new agent???

10:14pm • #10

Jim - The house that I'm in right now we bought about a year ago... we purchased it FSBO. My wife and I are Loan Officers. She used to be a licensed realtor. So between the two of us, we pretty much had everything covered. We agreed to the terms the day we saw the house. Gave them their selling price and told them that they had to pay our closing costs.  We walked away from the house with the following at the closing table

1. The house! YEAH

2. Seller paid all of our closing costs

3. Seller paid for 1 year home warranty

4. Seller paid for all inspections and the appraisal

5. Seller paid for our first year of homeowners insurance

6. a check for $1700

From the signing to the closing, it took 2 weeks. We actually could have closed the first week after we signed but it all happened so fast that the seller hadnt moved the pool table, or the hot tub. So we got that too!! :)

10:22pm • #11
1 Featured Post
You are so right. I bought my first house to live in in 1984. before that, I had been selling real estate for 7 years, already owned to income properties and had bought a few homes that I resold. But when it came time to by the house I was going to live in, I remember how different it was, that now I was emotionaly caught up into the deal like most other buyers I dealt with. I also remember developing a new and deeper understanding of what owner-occupants deal with, whcih was a great learning experience for me that has severd me well my entire career.
10:27pm • #12
4 Featured Posts

What a lovely story!  And so true.  It is especially hard to sell your own home, it's impossible not to get emotionally involved. 

11:04pm • #13
300,162 Points 12 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Hi Jim,

Wow, you are so right, at times we're too close to the situation.  In the past I've sold a few of my own, and also listed others with fellow Realtors.

People always say, "You're so lucky, you can find the right deals ahead of everyone else"...truthfully, I think most of us as Realtors do a better job for our clients than we do for ourselves. 

Lynda Eisenmann, Broker-Owner, CRS, CRB, GRI, SRES, e-PRO, PH

11:18pm • #14
JAN
28
2007
367,329 Points 110 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Jim ~ I can identify with your story.  We moved last year and what a fiasco.  I let one of our agents "list" my old house, but when she started "getting in the way of a deal, I fired her."  We got the deal put together but I was the worst seller I've ever had!! 

In the end, the whole experience made me more sensitive to my clients needs.  Everything matters!

kk

1:15am • #15
232,137 Points 39 Featured Posts Outside Blog
We step in and write the offer for our agents.  We hand it back to them when it is signed around and step in again at time of home inspection.  Hate to say it...but they tend to be our worst clients :)
1:15am • #16
259,107 Points 102 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Jim,

One of my biggest mistakes was doing my own loan.  I woefully underqualified myself and overanalyzed the whole thing.  If I had one of my super originator buddies treat me like a client, I would have bought a bigger home and stuck with a neg-am mortgage.  I bought two houses since then and have never made that mistake again. 

2:09am • #17
462,300 Points 13 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Enjoyed your story.  The fact is lots of realtor don't even own their own home.  I think I am incline to use another realtor with my own purchase.
6:08am • #18
237,616 Points 56 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog
Jim, I must say, I don't envy you. It's very hard to do your own deal...those emotions definitely get in the way. Can't believe the inspection period and response especially in this market...it sounds like your market has picked up and not a buyer's market. I wish you the best and hope you find that perfect ranch in a great area. 
9:10am • #19
300,162 Points 12 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Hi again,

One more issue on being your own buyer and or seller.  Some (yet not all) E&O insurance companies will not insure transactions where an agents acts as the agent and the buyer or seller.  I've become the listing agent at times (like a few of you out there) for my agents on their own transactions within our office.  That includes all of the inspections, disclosures, etc., we take it seriously.  Most lost mitigation classes will tell you that most of claims/lawsuits  (they say 85%) are from buyers against sellers as a result of property defects.

Therefore it's important to check with your broker to determine insurability if you're acting as a principal and an agent.

Lynda Eisenmann, Broker-Owner

11:04am • #20
290,875 Points 52 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

Lynda, I know our E & O does not cover us for doing our own transactions. However since most claims are buyer against seller and I'm the buyer, I feel the odds are on my side this time.

I've also bought and sold lots of investment properties. I gets lots of pieces of paper signed by both buyers and sellers of these properties saying they are aware I am a licensed real estate broker and that I am buying or selling these properties for my own account and for my own profit or loss.

We're going to try this one more time and if we can't buy something this time I may be interviewing for an agent if anyone is interested. ;-)

You're right Elaine, my wife is now thinking she might need a better agent, hopefully just for the homebuying process. ;-)

11:53am • #21
2 Featured Posts

Amen!  My wife and I bought in June '06 and it was a true eye opener doing it ourselves.  We wanted a fixer up home with plenty of floor space.  I bet we looked at 20 houses over the course of a year before we found one.  We were fortunate that our offer was accepted pretty quickly.   WHat was really wierd is I got two calls during the mortgage process from folks who wondered if I could pre-qualify them to by that same house.  I pre-qualed both, but also mentioned to them that I was pretty sure there was an accepted offer on the place even though the sign didn't indicate it.  Thankfully, neither of them asked how I knew.

 

1:50pm • #22
156,911 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Having done the very same thing two years ago, I feel your pain. The same goes for listing your own house.  My husband wanted to fire me because I disclosed everything!  He thought I was over doing it, but what he didn't realize is whether I represented us or someone else did, I still had to disclose everything!  It was also funny when he let a couple tour the house by themselves.  He sat in the chair on the front porch!  I had heart failure and did a quick inventory of all valuables.  It just isn't the same process when you represent yourself even when you are a very good professional!
2:10pm • #23
118,595 Points 7 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Jim- I feel your pain. I think the real problem is that it still is a buyers market- you are allowed to pick and choose and frankly seem to be getting more options than a typical market allows.You are feeling what all the other buyers out there are feeling....a sense of "I can move on from this -there are more out there." Two sided sword I guess. One it makes the buyer (you) expect a decent deal and two, takes the urgency out of moving. So, I am betting the perfect home will come along- probably when least expecting it..but- since you dont have to sell to move- you and your bride are in a wonderful situation. Dont sweat it! You have a great Realtor working for you!

If only all the other million buyers would make up their mind and buy! I am expecting 2007 to be great!

2:51pm • #24
7 Featured Posts
Jim-  Great Post !!  I'm selling one of my houses...Not a FSBO.  It's listed through my company...I'm even offering a bonus to the Selling Agent.
2:58pm • #25
684,548 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

Sound advice, Jim. Great experience, leading to a better understanding of what buyers go through and how to empathize with them. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

So what's next? New agent?

7:23pm • #26
186,439 Points 28 Featured Posts Outside Blog
I want your wife to figure out the way to MAKE sellers respond-that's one of my pet peeves, people who sit on offers waiting on something else....if she can crack that nut, you can retire tomorrow!
8:55pm • #27
131,334 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog

I can see Monika and I disagree on this. I think you can do it on your own and just hang in there and the right house and terms will come along. Think positive and it will happen. Those other homes were just not for you. I hate it when buyers say, "if it was meant to be it will be." Funny thing is I do believe that, I just hate to hear it.

Best of Luck Jim  

9:05pm • #28
480,022 Points 151 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Jim....   I agree with Leigh's comment...   And Sharron mentioned that we should buy every 5 years?  That could get expensive though......  think about it....  anyhoo....  good luck with the house hunting and thanks for sharing this story.
11:08pm • #29
JAN
29
2007
4 Featured Posts

I totally understand!  We are in the process of selling one of our houses.  I hired another Realtor to handle the deal.  It's only 30 minutes away, but I wanted someone from that little neighborhood to take care of everything.  It's been so much easier than trying to do it myself!  Well worth the $$.

 

8:24am • #30
I know what you mean Jim, I sold listed and sold my own house and when I went to show it I think I did what all sellers do when we are there, I tried to sell it to hard. As far the agent goes give me a call. ; ) 
8:43am • #31
607,353 Points 34 Featured Posts Outside Blog Hit Router

Great post!

When my husband (then fiancee) were looking for houses, it took us (HIM) 7 months to finally realize that if we were going to buy a house, we (HE) had to stop playing games on the offering prices.  We submitted at least 10 offers in that 7 months, and apparently none were worth countering their counter offers.  When we finally found "the" house, it took 3 weeks to execute the offer as it turns out the sellers didn't actually want to sell.  Once we closed, the sellers wouldn't get out of our house.  It was too stressful so they took off to Maui for 3 weeks...  We closed in July and finally got possession in mid- September.  They took the toilet roll holders, the shower curtain rods, the stoppers for the bath tubs, took a utility knife to several places on the wall paper, loosened the garbage disposal so it exploded the first time we turned it on...  many other things...

I can't imagine going through this every 5 years!!  Plus, the house I bought previous to this one, the seller just past the Bar and was trying to say he was a Real estate attorney, so you can imagine how that one went... not so smooth either...

10:54am • #32

Oh, Lordy does this ever hit home! I am 2 weeks into a 3 week escrow on my new home, I haven't done this for ten years! 

The weirdest thing is I keep getting my escrows confused, I have never had this problem before? My husband says its because our personal escrow is ALWAYS on my mind.

Its also challenging to keep hubby in the loop...which isn't fair at all, he has to keep calling and asking me questions, I had better be a better buyers agent to my clients than I am to myself!

I thought I was empathetic to my clients before...I have plenty sympathy now!

 

3:08pm • #33
213,274 Points 34 Featured Posts Outside Blog
My wife and I are really picky and when we bought 5 years ago, we had been looking over the course of three years.  I would have hated to be the agent for us.  I'm glad most of my clients don't take as long but it does remind me to be patient when people are hesitant to make a decision.  I'm always willing to show them as many homes as they want because I can really relate to trying to find a home with just about everything that you want.
9:16pm • #34
JAN
30
2007
232,137 Points 39 Featured Posts Outside Blog
It' s going to be hard to pick who your agent is going to be.  Will you take a referral fee :)
1:38am • #35

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Jim Lee, Knoxville Tennessee Realtor®

Knoxville, TN

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Realty Executives Associates

Address: Land Oak, 10255 Kingston Pike, Knoxville, TN, 37922

Office Phone: (865) 693-3232

Cell Phone: (865) 539-3163

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