Sounds of sobbing were coming from my room on the second day of my ski trip to Lake Tahoe last week week. I rush in to find a cute blonde six year old sitting on the toilet in full tears.
MOM-EEE.
I don't want to ski. I don't like it. I HATE it. I can't do it!
Oh me, oh my. What to do? I definitely don't want to be one of "those" mommies who push their kids to do things they absolutely hate. At the same time, I don't want to be one those parents who don't push enough and the kids regret it later in life that they didn't have the opportunity to do this or that.
What is a parent to do? Well, I asked lots of probing questions, trying to get down to the bottom of the situation. I can tell you, it is much easier to get an irrational buyer or seller to answer probing questions than a stubborn and quite irrational six year old. I wasn't getting anywhere.
With the busy holiday weekend and 8 days scheduled to be on the trip, we had planned for day # 2 to be a sledding day, thank goodness. This gave me a day to think, and to huddle with the other five families staying at the house. (yes, we had a houseful!)
I knew if I didn't get her skiing on this trip, it would be even harder next time, and it might never happen again. Timing is crucial. I decided that she had to work through her fears. She was going to learn how to ski. So, thinking cap on, I realized that I needed a fresh approach. Ski school wasn't right for her. Despite loads of hot cocoa, great friends, and lots of snacks, she didn't like it.
My girlfriend's 86 year old father joined us in Tahoe. His caretaker, a highly proficient (and patient) skier from Sun Valley, Idaho was with us. Sarah is incredibly sweet and patient. The kids adore her. She offered to take the little one out. We also had Brian, who works in the ski shop and takes care of the house during the winter. Brian is a ski pro. I took dad... Brian & Sarah took my little one and another six year old boy. They knew them and trusted them, and went off without a tear.
Two days later, my daughter was on the moguls. NOT KIDDING. 2 days of private lessons with Bryan and Sarah. 2 days of a different approach and she is a pretty darn good little skier.
She could have given up. 20 years from now, should could have regretted that she never learned to ski. I could have given up, not pushed her, and let her stay indoors and play princesses.
We could have said she can't. Well she could and she did.
Sometimes we have to push ourselves when we don't want to. Sometimes we have to step outside our comfort zone. Sometimes we have to push our kids and our clients- by taking a new and fresh approach.
Success isn't easy. Failure is.
P.S. My two year got on his skis for the first time too, but not quite ready for the big slopes!