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Dog Food - A little Friday Humor

THE DOG FOOD DIET

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the
wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her
that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet
again.

Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!

Posted by Deserie Fitch on 02/29/2008 11:45 PM

Comments (10)

jokes, humor

10 Comments on Dog Food - A little Friday Humor

Deserie,

This is a scream! I'm glad you came up with a punchline or else we'd be hearing about the new Purina Diet on every talk show in America.

02/29/2008 11:56 PM

by Susan Peters - Seattle Realtor/Staging Specialist (Re/Max Mutual Realty)

Deserie,

I have seen it before, but I love it. I could just picture someone really telling this story to someone in the checkout line. Thanks for the laugh!

03/01/2008 12:47 AM

by Richard Parr, Realtor, Real Estate Agent Elmhurst and DuPage County Real Estate (Prospect Equities, Oakbrook Terrace, IL)

This dog looks a lot like my irish setter - Patrick!! I know he hasn't been in Florida!

03/01/2008 01:44 AM

by Sharon Paxson (Prudential California Realty)

Deserie, I am featuring this in todays edition of funnies recap. Hope you do not mind.

03/06/2008 02:19 PM

by Danny Thornton (Home America Mortgage, INC.)

Oh my God...that is tooooo funnyyyy, I'm laughing so hard....

03/06/2008 04:18 PM

by PATRICE BRICE (PB APPRAISALS)

Oh no! I'm snorting!

03/06/2008 04:58 PM

by Lissa Uder, Your Lebanon MO Real Estate Agent (A Helper Premier GMAC Real Estate)

YOU DIDN'T!

laughing cat

I want your conversation as my ringtone! LOL!!! Are you always this funny? I am going to go check out your blog...

03/07/2008 10:31 AM

by Sheron Cardin - how2homestage.com RESA (California Moods Inc)

That is hilarious. Some people are so gullible! Including me sometimes! I feel compelled to share my story.

My mum is from New Zealand. When I was little (3 or so), my grandparents flew over to the States to spend a couple of months with our family. My Grandad was sitting at the kitchen counter one morning. I thought it would be nice to give him a handful of "dry cereal". Well, he kept eating it, so I kept bringing him more! Later that afternoon, my mum was filling up the cat bowl... and my grandad noticed it looked the same as what I was giving him that morning! He said to her "Um, is that the cats food"? She said, "Well ya, that's why I'm putting it in the cat bowl." He said, "Oh, no wonder is tasted so strange!". My mum was a little confused so he noted, "Erika was feeding me that this morning. Since all the cereal over here in America has all those funky little shapes, I just figured that's what it was!" Poor guy has never lived it down.

03/07/2008 10:41 AM

by Erika Beede - www.goomzee.com (Goomzee Corporation)

Deserie, You had me believing you really said this until I read the first comment... LOL!

Ginger

03/07/2008 06:40 PM

by Wilmington NC Real Estate Ginger & Roger Sala Keller Williams (Keller Williams Wilmington North Carolina)

Without a disclaimer I do believe that some of our friendly Wal Mart shopppers would try it.

03/07/2008 09:16 PM

by The Best Spot Realty/Norris Lake Real Estate/Ooltewah Real E

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