You know, my major was music at one point. I grew up singing on stage, in church and in the shower. I am embarrassed to say that I have only been to two concerts in my life. Of course, that's not counting all the church concerts we had and oh yeah, one time I won tickets to go see Ray Charles. I wouldn't classify Ole Ray as a concert but hearing "Sitting By The Dock of The Bay" by the originator was enough to blow my hair back.

I never claimed to be a "girlie girl" but when it came to boys I was crazy, to put it mildly. I think I had a crush on anything that had a pulse. I wasn't girlie but was oh so giddy. I had a mouth full of teeth surrounded by braces, I had a bad perm and was proud of being called "the chubby one". So, it's probably a little obvious why I didn't have a boyfriend. I was an ugly duckling.

I wasn't a nerd, just a little goofy. Nerdy people are the ones that make straight A's and ask the teacher for help right? My teacher had bad breath, we called her dragon. This kept me from reaching my nerd status. At school I crushed a lot and I crushed hard. No boy could get past my medal mouth and kinky hair...I then went into dream mode. A girl can dream right?

I spent a lot of time in my room...drawing, writing and being in love. With whom? Well, whom is out of the question because the answer is plural. There were five of them. I figured since there were more than one, my chances of "till death do us part" was more likely. Growing up, I didn't like my parents like everyone else. Why couldn't I stand my mother? She had a bad pet peeve about things being on the wall other than "pictures". All of my girlfriends had their...well, "our" loves posted all over their bedroom. I was jealous. I was only allowed to use my back door. You can understand why I stayed in my room with the door shut. It was because of them. I loved the way it looked as if they were staring back. Yes, a little freaky but ....I was boy crazy.

I collected all of their pictures. I had my own folder packed with their "Teen Beat" clippings. I pinned their buttons on my blue jean jacket. Every night I asked God to make it happen. I wanted to be the ones they sang about. I wanted to be the one they thought about. Who cares if I was only in seventh grade? We know everything by then anyway, right? So what if I had braces, funky hair and a double chin...I had a great personality! I had a plan. I wanted to go to a concert. I thought maybe they would see me in the crowd and well, the whole 'love at first sight' comes to mind. This was the only way I could make things happen. The concert. The New Kids On The Block concert.  

Do you know I still have their video tape? Yes, VHS baby. I used to put it in the VCR every day after I got home from school. I would fast forward it to "Please Don't Go Girl". In the back of my mind I thought, "Don't worry baby..I'm not going anywhere". Even though there were five of them, I zoned in on one particular. Why? Because he was the youngest. I figured my chances were greater. If I knew then that older men liked younger women, I might have pushed a littler harder. Hey, I was in seventh grade...I was ready to settle down. Look, I was responsible. I woke up at seven every morning, caught the bus (all on my own, mind you), was passing my classes AND I got two dollars a week for allowance. I was set. I needed a concert.

I begged my mother, you know the one that wouldn't let me drench my walls in testosterone? My mother (step mother) was about 25 at the time, I think she thought it was a good idea only because she was THEIR age. I was not going to have a Jerry Springer moment and have my mother steal my men. I had to let her know, up close and personal....that these guys, you know...we had a thing. She tried to explain to me what a stalker was, I was so glad that I didn't know any. I think she was talking about me. So, maybe I was a little obsessed. What else is there to do when you are in seventh grade? Dream.

The news came and I was elated. They "N.K.O.T.B, they were coming to Jackson, Mississippi. I almost peed my pants. I told my mother that I couldn't go on with out seeing them. She wasn't impressed. Why wouldn't anyone take me seriously. I probably would have been labeled as a hopeless romantic. Romantic? Maybe? Hopeless? Never.

Word got around town that everyone and their mother were trying to get tickets. When I say "everyone and their mother" it's not just a phrase I am using lightly. It was REALLY everyone and their mother. Tickets were to go on sale that Saturday. As the week went on, my mother got the feeling that this wasn't going to be easy. We had plan to go to the concert with a pack of my friends. Yes, I had friends. We had a lot in common- bad hair, bad teeth and no fashion sense. It was Friday. It was the day before getting the tickets and I was beside myself. Then the idea came.

My mother had a great idea. She always had great ideas. "Let's sleep in the parking lot". Oh my gosh, an adventure! My giddy meter flew off the charts. Being raised in a very strict environment, the fact that my mother was going to let me sleep in the parking lot....I knew I was growing up. I was a big girl now, except for one thing. She was going with me. I couldn't complain, I would just pretend it was just me and my friends. I would just pretend that I didn't know her.

Friday after school, I got my "Oh my gosh, I am sleeping in the parking lot" bag together. It was filled with Twinkies, Ding Dongs, a walk-man, gum and hairspray. I had already gotten a "New Kids On The Block" sleeping bag for Christmas, so I was more than ready. *Not to get off on a tangent, but our church opened their doors once for people who needed shelter from a storm that was coming through. I went with my Dad up to the church to let someone SLEEP in MY "New Kids On The Block" sleeping bag, and I never saw it again. I am still a little bitter about that*

So, we all loaded up and headed to the mall. There was a store in the mall that was going to be handing out the tickets. We pulled up that Friday night and realized we weren't alone, not alone at all. There were lawn chairs, sleeping bags and people everywhere. The line when all the way down the parking lot. This only excited me more. At least we were in good company right? We got in line and set up for a long, cold night.

One of the funny things I remember about sleeping in the parking lot was my sister. She was three years old. My mother called my Dad and told him to bring my sister to see us and wait in line for awhile. My sister refused to go because my Dad said there was a line at the mall. She understood that there was a LION at the mall. Needless to say, she didn't come.

The night was filled of frozen toes and obsessive, giddy girls. What did we do to bide our time? Well, there were shopping carts all in the parking lot. We would get in them and push each other all over the mall's parking lot. Yes, I know..we were easily amused. It didn't take much.  As it got later, things got a little creepier. It was just weird not being in my bed and ...um, sleeping in the parking lot. When everyone started to settle down, something scary happened. A car passed by really slowly....and again and then again. Parents started to get worried and I was scared. All of a sudden, the car speeds by and some guy is hanging out the window screaming, "New Kids Suck"... They threw about 3 or 4 smoke bombs at us. I was scared. You know, at the firework stand you can get the little balls that you light up and they smoke in certain colors? I didn't know about these at the time and thought they were real bombs. The cops came and ended up staying the rest of the night with us. I was glad.

We got the tickets. We waited forever and a day but it was worth it. We all screamed like giddy school girls when we got the tickets. I wanted to hold mine. I did all the way home.

It was the longest wait ever. When was the concert going to come? Is it ever going to happen? While waiting for the concert date, I tried to keep myself busy. I filled it with writing poems and songs to my other men. I remember the song I wrote to Joe McIntyre still, by heart.

"Joe"

Joe,
I would like for you to know,
that I love you very much,
my heart is beating like a bunch
and if you ever go
I'll miss you Joe.

My best friend and I would sing this over and over again on the playground. How in the world am I able to remember all of this? Weird, how our memory works. So, in preparing for the concert I went and bought a N.K.O.T.B t-shirt. Oh, how I loved my Joe. The day before my mother took me to Wal-mart. We bought some paint and a sheet. Whatever for? When I got home, my friends and I painted "We Love N.K.O.T.B" on the sheet. We were planning on holding it up during the concert. You know, so my men would know how much I loved them.  It was going to be my time to shine.

The day of the concert, we all met up at Burger King. My mom brought a friend who had a son. Wow, he was to die for. I couldn't stop staring at him. I was so excited because I got to sit in the back seat next to him. He didn't' say much well, I didn't either. What was there to say? Will you be my boyfriend? Do you like me check yes or no? He was my age. He was brown-eyed. His name was Jeremy and he was a little bit of heaven.

I tried to keep cool even though there was the hottest guy ever sitting next to me. He was so hot that I didn't even mind the traffic that was backed up two hours from the concert. Why would I care? That's just more time I get to sit next to my new boyfriend. Yes, my boyfriend...of course, he didn't know this yet. We headed into the concert. I had my "N.K.O.T.B." shirt on, my blue-jean jacket with my buttons, my "N.K.O.T.B" watch on, my mouth full of teeth and my funky hair.

How was the concert? I wish I could tell you. I had found a new love. I didn't even pay attention to all of the love songs my men sang to me. I was in love. It was "love at first sight" you know. I started to think that maybe N.K.O.T.B ...maybe they were a little too old for me. And, plus...I mean, they would be on tour and I'm just not that type of girl. I needed a man that I could see in home room, a guy that I could stalk at recess..you know, something a little closer to home. The night ended and we all went home. You know, I never saw that guy again. So, I just went on to the next victim....