My Breakthrough on Creating Rapport
by John Occhi, Hemet CA REALTOR
Real Estate, Hemet CA

Yesterday I wrote that I had attended a 3 day training presented by Tom Ferry, at the Riverside Convention Center.  The name of the program is TAG - The Appointment Game!. There was definitely a lot of energy and excitement in the air.

I try to attend trainings on a regular basis, even thought I know the presenter has his agenda of selling me something.  OK, fair trade.  When I go, I am keeping a open mind looking for that one "A-ha" moment that can make a difference.

Now that I have reached my 53^rd year on this planet, I understand about teaching old dogs and new tricks - even when the old dog ahs an open mind and wants to continue to grow and learn.

I should say here first, that my nature is not that of a "people person".  Sorry, I am ruff and gruff and often say what is on my mind.  I will debate with anyone on any topic, if I have a different opinion - it's just me.

But I have learned through the years to get along with most people.  I have friends - don't get me wrong, I'm not a reincarnation of the Uni-bomber or anything - I love society - it's just people sometimes get in the way.  Does that make sense?

So, one of the things that I have done in the past, when getting to know people is share similar experiences.  No I never make them up, but in my 53 years, I can usually pull from some facet of my life (not all of which I am very proud of) and relate to the other person - based on similar experiences or relationships.

Tom shared a couple of ‘profound statements' - OK profound is an over exaggeration, but he said that Rapport is the key that unlocks the door to a clients mind" and that people do business with people they perceive to be like themselves."

The breakthrough, or my "Ahhh Haaa" moment came when I questioned Tom on what I thought to be a contradiction - something I had struggled with from Day 2 and after sleeping on it got to Ask Tom, in front of 1200 REALTORS, about at the end of Day 3.

Tom used the analogy of fishing to being a "Topper".  Although he was comical and exaggerated in his presentation I saw me.  It is whenever someone shares something personal, I follow-up by confirming that I understood them by acknowledging with my own story - becoming a ‘topper', meaning you should have seen the fish I caught.

What this does is breaks the other persons train of thought and conversation.  Just when the other person is about to reveal a personal intimate detail about themselves, I break it up and talk about me.

You should have seen the light bulb go off.

What Tom teaches the way to build rapport is to mimic the other person.  Mirror their body language and mannerisms'.

If they talk fast, keep up and do the same.  Slow down if they are a slow talker.  Does the other person talk with their hands - then I should too.  If they don't then I definitely shouldn't (I'm first generation Italian, how do you not talk with your hands?????)

I should mimic and mirror their tonality and volume of speech.  I should use the same amount of emotion they do.  If they are in a happy mood, then I better be happy.  If they are serious - then guess what I will be?

To really build rapport, it is not only speech patterns, but body language and facial expressions as well.

Well, I have a lot of work ahead of me.  I have 2 appointments that I set for today.  I am prepared and ready to go.  So lets see what the new day brings.

Now Have a Blessed Day,

John Occhi, Hemet CA REALTOR
http://www.johnocchi.com/