In part one, I shared how I got started and why and then a little about the training and then what you run into. Very hard to put into words what takes place because this subject is something that is best explained while being lived. It is beyond words and feelings and when it is not, it is emotionally overwhelming and gut wrenching
REPRESSION OF THE RAPE IS WORSE
I would get calls usually in the wee hours of the morning between 1- 3 a.m. Nighttime's is when this type of activity surfaces more and that is just from what is reported. You find out that many rapes do not get reported for many reasons mostly because of the shame and embarrassment plus stigma that comes with the event. The perpetrator gets away, the victim suffers even more because now it gets played over and over inside them instead of being released to the outside for healing
TEARS TALKED FOR ME
Getting the victim to talk but only if she wants to is very important as rape tends to stay with a woman for years if not handled or if counseling is not applied to allow the emotions or experience to vent. When someone starts recounting what happened, they tend to see the part they played making it worse but necessary. Again, silence became my best friend, I became all ears and there were times were my tears talked...I had nothing to say...but assured them they were safe, alive and did the right thing
YOU DID THAT? (thought to myself)
I will tell you that I heard many statements that go against common sense but kept quiet and kept them to myself only sharing with my fellow counselors later on. Going out late at night in questionable circumstances, being scantily dressed, being alone and even being intoxicated, going to less populated areas while none of these things give permission to anyone to take advantage of a woman or young girl certainly doesn't help protect or preserve them either.
THE BLAME GAME...it doesn't help
Family members are quick to point out all the wrong and what they shouldn't have done or the girl shouldn't have done quick enough making things worse and not better. The time to sort it out is exclusively up to the victim and it is very important that it stay that way if she is to recover and not compound the situation and get worse. I had to tell the men involved to relax, calm down and don't make it worse. They just didn't know what to do...tragic to say the least
COUNSELING SESSIONS ...intense
I remember one mother insisting that she be present during a counseling session in a waiting room and all being in agreement. She brought her sister in too (aunt) and as I was conducting a share and care session guiding the daughter victim, encouraging them and praising them that they are safe and sound HERE & NOW and there is so much good that can be learned when all of a sudden....
BURST OF AGONY
The mother blurts and cries out breaking down at the same time...I WAS RAPED TOO she says.. when she was a girl and the whole room went into a giant weeping of sorrow, hugging and hand holding. I never seen anything like it. The victim is crying, the mother is crying because the victim is and the victim is crying because the mother is and the aunt is crying because everyone is...AND...the mom is saying now it happened to my daughter too...and everyone begins the weep session even deeper...woe. But that is what the healing process is all about...getting it out
RECOVERY TAKES ENERGY
Believe it or not, that is part of the recovery process and it drains you of all life including the bad life episode so that the good energy can come forth and bring in the healing. It is very necessary and the sooner we all get to it, the better. Many of these sessions will take place even for years afterwards too. it is over when it is over and that is up to the victim to say