I shared in parts one and two what it is like to volunteer and lend a hand in something that certainly requires help and no amount of training can prepare you for it. It is recommended that your read parts one and two. This part will focus on some things that I ran into during my volunteer work as a rape counselor and being on call 24/7 days a week for 2 years
EMERGENCY ROOM
I remember getting a call and they usually came in to me between 1- 3 am to report to the large public community hospital that was well known. I show up and the police are there and they point me to the victim and the room she is in. They remained skeptical because of me being a male and questioned me. Who are you with? I told you already and I then went toward the victim who needed me. I mean how did I get the call? From police dispatch of course and this can be easily verified. Excuse me please
LEAVE THIS ROOM NOW
I am in there, comforting, supporting and doing what I am supposed to do and the victim was coming around when the head Doctor chief of staff (a woman) comes in and starts yelling at me to get out. I couldn't even get a word in and it was not proper to do so. Remember, the victim asked for a rape counselor. I checked with the victim who was so scared of the Doctor and in rape trauma who reluctantly agreed for me to leave the room. I thought it best as things were getting worse not better.
POLICE GET INVOLVED
I was not prepared for this. The police came out and told me that the Chief physician wanted me to leave the building and I said I am called here as part of the services offered by the city and I am here for the victim at her request not mine. They ask if you want a counselor and almost all the women say yes without hesitating. The police became confused and they didn't know what to do and shared politely that if I could just wait in another room, it would help with the Chief Physician. Humph..I am supposed to be there for the victim not the this doctor you would think
TWICE THIS HAPPENED...is what I recall
Now this was the second time I have met this Head Woman Physician while trying to help a victim and each time she treated me with disdain & contempt. She was verbally abusive, added gestures and stares and bullied me relentlessly. This time (the second time) she came out to take some more swipes at me and I told her... look I am here by request for the girl in the other room. She needs and has requested help. Take up your grievance with the City and or the victim. I am just doing what I was asked and agreed to do. She told me to stay out of her way...I said yes mam
HOURS LATER...while I am waiting for tests
Then it happened. The head Physician comes out and says to me..MAY I SPEAK WITH YOU in a lambs voice. I was taken aback. She started weeping and asking me to forgive her. Watery eyed myself I said for what? She said for the way I have been treating you. I found out that you are not only a volunteer, but that you don't get paid either. She realized how devoted I was to the cause holding up to her abuse, the police abuse and staying true through it all. My suffering came second to the suffering of the victim
WE ALL LEARNED SO MUCH
You see these calls at night can take up to 4 hours or more before things whine down. I never complained or hesitated when it was my turn to play my part...the part I agreed to do. Between heavy tears, this Doctor said she respected me and she assumed the worse when she first saw me. Will you ever forgive me she says and I say......Doctor...please forgive me too is all I could say and we had a good cry together. I have never cried so much in all my life...It drains every drop out of you...to the last drop too
HE IS UP TO NO GOOD...really?
I might as well get this out now. People assume that a man wanting to be around a nude woman which is one getting an exam or a woman who has been traumatized is up to no good. Well that depends on the man doesn't it? Fireman, police and doctors are around this all the time and they remain composed and part of the solution...I joined them
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