Yes to apologizing when at fault. It is the right thing to do and the sooner it is done the better for all. Everyone plays a "life" part and the learning curve is fraught with trial & errors. When we boo-boo, we account for our part, signify and mark it with an apology or admittance to the error played out by us and then...we move on...but do we?
YES & NO
NO...we do not just mouth the words and expect it all to be well if your heart is not in agreement. It must be a heartfelt, sent message to be effective. Words cannot buy into the real deal here only reality can. Then, an over looked other dynamic has to kick in. The person being offered the apology has to accept it or we may just have some unfinished business here.
YES...we can move on if we truly regret the action and the other party needs time to heal, then we are free but not because WE said so but because of an invisible force called grace that brings a peace and a rest to the process. That is how you will know. Also, it is heart driven not mouth driven dynamic. We all know that difference too. Something will say without saying it...you are free to go on
OUCH
Wounds...All kinds of them are healed by time. Just telling someone to GET OVER IT and then blurt out...I ALREADY APOLOGIZED so now you are the problem is reverse apology in action. Its not clean and further time may be needed for your own closure. Remember, you cannot make anyone accept your apology but if it is offered earnestly and genuinely and people cannot come around, you may be relieved if done properly. Conscience dictates here.
I KNEW IT AND SO DID THE OTHER PARTY...
I had a professional apologize to me so naturally when we both found out he missed something and how wrong missing that something was. The attitude behind his realization told me he was sorry before he actually mouthed and verbalized the words. It was done with honor, innocence character and integrity in other words...a pure correction and acceptance of the highest sort...Now everyone was free to go their way with confidence
CANNED I'M SORRY?
What I detest is when the apology process is cheapened when it is reduced to script. A person is hired and told to say this or that when something wrong happens. They are not taught what is right or what should happen nor are they using their own sense of right or wrong but are referring to a script or cue card that says...If the customer is angry...say I apologize. If they are still angry keep saying it until they stop. I'm sorry...I'm sorry..I apologize, is blurted out like an angry drunk parrot. To me, this fans the fire of the error even more so
PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL DYNAMICS
If it is a personal matter, it may require an investment of intimacy. It is a humbling dynamic with sincerity on point. Caring and concern is present and a goodness fills the air. If business, we would do well to remind each other of the following:
THE CUSTOMER ISN'T ALWAYS RIGHT...BUT THEY ARE NEVER WRONG
Wherever you find yourself, either on the giving end of an apology or the receiving end of it, personal or professional, seek out the part you play and for it to truly be effective, honor this process using honesty and truth. Then, something greater goes to work for us all
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