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A Gran Torino, Attachment and a Senior Moment

By
Real Estate Agent with DFW FINE PROPERTIES 0506509

 

Last night I caught the ending of the 2008 film Gran Torino, directed, produced and starring Clint Eastwood. Although I have seen this movie several times before, this was the first time I was stirred by emotion and reflection – perhaps it’s because I’m older, more experienced, mature, and as I progress in the Real Estate business, I perceive things differently.  

 

2008 was not long ago; yet so much has happened to our American culture since the movie was released which now causes me to pause and share my thoughts at a deeper level because this is a topic that deserves more discussion. 

 

ATTACHMENT

 

What happens to many people who own property is an attachment to the material goods acquired over the span of a lifetime. In the story, the main character Walt Kowalski, widower, retired American worker from the state of Michigan, homeowner, and former vet played by Clint Eastwood had an attachment to his car, a Gran Torino which is the target of a gang initiation. Although widowed after 50 years and alienated from his immediate family he clings to his car because he desires to hold on to something from his past. His son and family fails to understand and would prefer to put his father into a retirement home while their daughter has her eye on the Gran Torino and not the human heart of the grandfather. 

 

As a professional in the Real Estate industry, I see many people who have formed attachments to material goods. While often referred to as clutter, it’s a sentimental journey that requires sensitivity to a human need to cling to past memories and their independence. When an owner, particularly a senior or a widower faces the dilemma of having to sell their home and let go, it takes compassion and understanding to discover the elephant or the obstacles that needs to be addressed. After a spouse dies, I know it’s not easy to let go of the past. I myself was faced with making tough decisions after my own spouse died many years ago. 

 

A STORAGE HOUSE OF MEMORIES

 

A home is more than just a dwelling – it’s a storage house of memories mixed in with strong emotions that cannot be denied. I sat on the edge of my couch last night with a trunk load of photographs that I was sorting through earlier in the day depicting my past while the finale of Gran Torino flashed before my eyes on the flat-screen T.V.  I asked myself, What are the things I am attached to in my life? As a Real Estate agent, I am always amazed at what causes people to be indecisive about letting go, or the collections found stuffed in curio cabinets, hanging on walls, stored in closets, placed under a magnet on a refrigerator, shoved in drawers, or stored in the garage. 

 

CAN THE BOND OF NEIGHBORS BE STRONGER THAN FAMILY?

 

Life goes on and human needs change. Neighbors often form a stronger bond with each other, whether they like it or not than blood relatives who are distant in more ways than one. In the Clint Eastwood movie, we get to know the character Walt Kowalski on a deeper level because it's the same American story from the past, still going on today, and will continue into the future: Business shut downs, loss of job security, homes depreciating after the bubble burst, people losing their homes because of banks, government loans, and sub-prime lending, age, change in maritial status, downsizing, and family members no longer occupants of the home. Then, there's change to deal within the community,i.e., immigration, such as the Hmong community moving into the neighborhood, the changing landscape of old established ethnic neighborhoods, neighborhood stores going out of business, gangs swooping into the neighborhood, crime, the challenge to own turf and survive whether you are a teenager in the prime of your life or a senior facing old age, sickness or death. And then there's the loneliness of being alienated or not understood by family members or worse, Real Estate agents.

 

It takes a professional to understand the "Elephant," or the obstacles which stand between you and your storage house of memories. Letting go is hard to do... I know and I understand.  What does the prospect of new beginnings have to do with the end times of saying goodbye to a way of life? If you are thinking about moving into or away from the Dallas Metroplex, I would love to hear from you. I will not rush you into making any decisions you're not prepared to make; however, I will be there to guide you through your sentimental journey with respect, integrity, and true professionalism.

 

©PATRICIA FEAGER 11/18/2013  

 

 

Posted by

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dfw fine properties

PATRICIA FEAGER, REALTOR®
DFW FINE PROPERTIES
3575 LONE STAR CIRCLE SUITE 315
FORT WORTH, TEXAS 76177

Email Me
                                  

                                     

MBA (University of Dallas)
BA
(Bachelors of Arts & Science)
Paralegal (Southeastern Career Institute)
Associates (3) (College of Lake County)
KU (University of Kansas)

CERTIFICATIONS

CRS (Certified Residential Specialist)
SRES (Certified Senior Residential Specialist)
PSA (Certified Pricing Strategies; Mastering the CMA)
CRS (Certified Military Relocation Specialist)
RENE (Real Estte Negotitions Expert)

"With self-discipline most anything is possible." --- Theodore Roosevelt 

 

 

 

  

Comments(51)

Christine O'Shea
Christine E O'Shea Broker - Naples, FL

Pat, Once again, you knocked it out of the park and congrats on the feature.  Stuff, possessions, baggage, brick and brack, whatever the term is.  It hangs close to my heart as far as my mom goes, she cannot let go of her stuff and had difficuly understanding how one gets rid of their things, precious possessions that remind her of this moment or that place in time.  Even if it is a broken piece of something, it still has meaning.  I learned years ago to let go of the things, travel light, there is no U Haul truck traveling in the funeral procession, yet, we are compassionate to our elders and their physical love of stuff!

Nov 18, 2013 11:20 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hi Patricia -- a good take on this movie --- it's interesting to see a movie again yet look at it in a completely different way - same thing with books.  I guess it's about perspective or something that may be going on in our lives.   

Nov 18, 2013 12:42 PM
Jane Chaulklin-Schott
TEAMCONNECT REALTY - (407) 394-9766 - Orlando, FL
TeamConnect Luxury Homes - Orlando, Florida, 32836
Hi Patricia. I have not seen the Clint Eastwood movie, however, I have made special note to see it. When reading your post, I was reminded of the recent typhoon in the Philippines and yesterday's tornadoes in the Midwest. Just remembering the hundreds of homes leveled - all those precious attachments - memories.
Nov 18, 2013 01:56 PM
Aaron Hofmann
Atlanta Communities - Smyrna, GA
aka Mr. Smyrna Vinings

Great movie. For many sellers, their biggest emotional attachment is to their home itself and why they often feel it's worth more than it is.

Nov 18, 2013 03:36 PM
Joe Petrowsky
Mortgage Consultant, Right Trac Financial Group, Inc. NMLS # 2709 - Manchester, CT
Your Mortgage Consultant for Life

I have seen the movie a number of times, it is one that I don't seem to get tired of. The movie folks should hire you to describe all movies to the public. Your review would be much better than what they share now.

Nov 18, 2013 07:14 PM
Marco Giancola
Beachfront Realty - Miami Beach, FL
Realtor (305)608-1922, Miami Beach Florida

Hi PF, well deserved feature. This post made me think about my own family and the jokes my siblings and I make about our parents "memory museum" home. Thanks for the realignment.

Nov 18, 2013 07:29 PM
Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400
The Top Team @ Charles Rutenberg Realty 255 Executive Dr, Plainview NY 11803 - Plainview, NY
Long Island Condo and Home Specialists

Such insight you have Patricia. We see it happen all the time in Real Estate. An attachment to a home and surroundings that is sometimes very difficult to move from.

Nov 18, 2013 08:38 PM
Bill and MaryAnn Wagner
Wagner Real Estate Group - Ocean City, NJ
Jersey Shore and South Jersey Real Estate
Patricia, Extremely well expressed. Any buyer or seller will benefit from your compassion and understanding.
Nov 18, 2013 09:04 PM
Scott Seaton Jr. SLS Home Insp
SLS Home Inspections-Kankakee Will Iroquois Grundy Counties - Bourbonnais, IL
The Home Inspector With a Heart!

Great movie, I love the razor shave and new suit part the best. Nice post. 

Nov 18, 2013 09:28 PM
Michael Setunsky
Woodbridge, VA
Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA

Patricia, Gran Torino was a very good movie. Good analogy to homeowners who are attached to their possessions.

Nov 18, 2013 10:06 PM
Drick Ward Property Management / Broker Assoc
NEPTUNE REALTY - Virginia Beach, VA
"RealtorDrick" - Experienced Representation

Interesting post-thank you!

Nov 18, 2013 10:34 PM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

What a wonderful segue from the movie to your compassion as a realtor. 

PS - I loved that movie.

Nov 18, 2013 11:42 PM
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Your decent post reminded me of...The native Indians could never understand the concept of owning anything until it was demonstrated rather harshly. Once they caught up with the premise, they wanted to own too but it was never meant for us to own anything. Its all on loan.

Nov 18, 2013 11:43 PM
Cindy Westfall
Premiere Property Group,LLC Portland Metro & Suburbs Oregon - Tualatin, OR
ABR,GRI Your Tualatin & Portland Metro Real Estate

Hi Patricia, Having just moved to a much smaller home and needed to make lots of choices on what to give away or take with me, it does make one think about those things that are important to you. Your understanding of the process and how difficult it can be for those selling a home are just a small piece of what sets you apart from other real estate agents. You get it and your clients will benefit from it. Great post!

Nov 18, 2013 11:47 PM
Barbara-Jo Roberts Berberi, MA, PSA, TRC - Greater Clearwater Florida Residential Real Estate Professional
Charles Rutenberg Realty - Clearwater, FL
Palm Harbor, Dunedin, Clearwater, Safety Harbor

That was a great movie and you are correct, as we get older, we do indeed perceive things differently.

Nov 19, 2013 12:23 AM
Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

Patricia, I have not seen the movie. I will bookmark this post so as to remember to  see it when it is on TV next time.

Nov 19, 2013 12:33 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Another outstanding post. Letting go is hard to do.

When a home is offered for sale, many of the items that create fond memories should be put in storage or given to others. Some furniture that we gave to several family members over 30 years ago is still to be seen in their homes. Sharing personal treasures may be better than keeping them for ourselves.

Nov 19, 2013 01:10 AM
House Hunt
HouseHunt.com - Huntington Beach, CA

Patricia,

It's crazy how little meaningless items to others can have such significance to us!

Thanks for your post.

Nov 19, 2013 07:34 AM
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Burlington, MA
Metro Boston Homes For Sale

Patricia, I have not seen the movie - however, the theme of your post is very touchy, as much as someone having attachment with his/her home or small things in that home!

(I have collected so much in my own home! When I sell my home.....I am not sure what will I do!)

Nov 19, 2013 10:56 AM
Kaye Swain
Keller Williams Real Estate Roseville CA - Roseville, CA
Your Roseville Real Estate Agent

Such good points! It's so vital to be compassionate and sensitive when helping our senior parents deal with items that may seem unimportant to us yet full of sweet memories to them.  Thank you for an excellent reminder. 

Dec 28, 2013 03:14 PM