May I Have Your Attention, Please...

I am writing this blog while I sit on hold with a customer.  I'm not kidding.  Our call is going on 46 minutes.  They've called in asking for my support because they are confused over how to handle a basic accounting task in our property management software.  I like helping people and even those who ask obvoius questions, but this is a bit different.

While they are asking "how do I...." they have put me on hold 5 times, made 4 phone calls and texted two people.  Each time they come back, they act like they have no idea what's going on and say something like... "oh honey, thank you so much - now, what is it I am doing?"  And then randomly "how much are garage remote controls these days? Can you look that up for me?"  ???????????????  Um, I don't have any idea.  I don't sell remote controls...

What is your graceful and kind way of letting customers know your time is valuable when they obviously have no clue?