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"Large puberty" - Hilarious MLS Holiday Bloopers

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

It’s Blooper Day, friends, and ’tis the season for hilarity. I think a few hapless folks thought that “Fall Back” was referring to performance levels, because some of these gaffes are doozies. Thanks to Mike Cooper and Bruce Walter for their contributions. Check ‘em out:

 

Under the Dome

“Dome upgrades made” (Oh, I just thought you were selling an igloo.)

"MEW Reo" (Sadly, another fine cathouse has gone under.)

“Property runs to storm drain” (That’s called ‘erosion’, dude.)

“Motivate your clients with great rats” (That would motivate me to get the hell out of Dodge.)

“Fax doc for review” (But he keeps refusing to get into the document feeder…)

Behind the Gnome

“House with gnomes in yard” (Oh, I just thought it was a convention in the Shire.)

“Twilite open with wine an musi” (Methinks the wine has already been corked…)

“Time to cash in!!!” (Don’t ever shout this in a nursing home.)

“Large puberty with pool” (Pool of what – raging hormones?)

“Some leakage” (That’s what I keep telling my urologist.)

Welcome Home

“Gentry sloping areas” (…Yet another common affliction of Neanderthal socialites.)

“Lots of cod cuts” (Promo for the updated version of “West Side Story” featuring the Jets versus the Whitefish.)

"Many homie touches" (Yo, Lil Wayne, thanks bra.)

"Great condo - Ho HOA!" (The chicks on my HOA, is a ho, too.)

“Large bassmen” (Hence the surplus of cod who have been driven to the stage for employment.)

“Need help writing colorful discretions?” (No, but I usually need bail after committing them.)

And the Final Moan

“Harry now” (Overheard of Bess Truman during the throes of passion.)

“Drawing for 2 tickets to the L.A. Oprah” (This gives new meaning to the saying, “It’s ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.”)

(Sorry…I just couldn’t resist.)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell...and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

 

Broker Patty Da Silva Da Silva
Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Cooper City, FL
Top Listing Broker

Thanks for the laugh today Gwen, the best way to start my day. Happy holidays!

Dec 19, 2013 11:36 PM
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH@properties - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Gwen, hilarious as always!  I've gotten a lot more careful than I used to be with my MLS comments!

Dec 20, 2013 01:03 AM
Ronald Curtis
Sapphire Associates - West Palm Beach, FL
Negotiating the best price and terms for my Buyers

Hello Gwen.........

I like the picture of your new boy friend, but I was surprised to see that you are attracted to men who wear glasses.

Must be the Dorothy Parker in you.

Keep having fun.

RJ

 

Dec 20, 2013 02:09 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Ronald, I chose him over George Clooney - I just couldn't resist his charms.

Dec 20, 2013 02:13 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

That large puberty with pool sounds like the July 4th pool party at my house when the boys were teenagers. Have a great weekend, Gwen!!

Dec 20, 2013 10:19 PM
David Spencer
Keller Williams Northland - Kansas City, MO
Show Me real estate in Kansas City

Thanks for the blog. Always can enjoy something other tyhan business.

Dec 20, 2013 10:43 PM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Gwen,

So glad that Debbie pointed you out.  One of our fellow agents in commercial real estate talked in bloopers constantly.  One time Ron and I asked him about a course in continuing ed he had taken, and his answer was, I liked it, but the guy kept going off on tangerines!  There were so many!  LOL  A

Dec 21, 2013 06:30 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

David, bloopers are business – bad business :-)

Dec 21, 2013 08:03 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Alexandra, that is hysterical - thank you for making my day!

Dec 21, 2013 08:10 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jay, as long as the gnomes aren't flashers, your neighborhood has not yet gone to pot...

Dec 21, 2013 08:14 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you to my dear AR friends Patty and Bruce - Merry Christmas to you both!

Dec 21, 2013 08:15 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Patricia, I hope that's a good thing!

Dec 21, 2013 08:16 AM
Evelyn Johnston
Friends & Neighbors Real Estate - Elkhart, IN
The People You Know, Like and Trust!

To funny Gwen but mostly sick. Do sellers not see their listings?

Dec 21, 2013 12:42 PM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

HA HA HA, great bloopers, and I would feel very embarassed with these entered in MLS!

Dec 21, 2013 10:40 PM
Suzanne Otto
Six Twenty Designs - Lansdale, PA
Your Montgomery County PA home stager

"Many homie touches"...apparently, homie does play that. (In Living Color Reference)

Dec 21, 2013 10:40 PM
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Thanks for the morning chuckles!

Dec 22, 2013 01:52 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

I've seen some large puberties. Not attractive - trust me on this.  :)

Dec 22, 2013 01:22 PM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Homies...Harry now....all of these are classic. Definitely signals it is "Time to cash in!"

Dec 22, 2013 09:17 PM
Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

Thank you for the chuckle. I will share these with others . Happy holidays.

Dec 23, 2013 07:48 PM
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

I love these.  I have not checked them out for a while but went looking for you this morning as I needed a laugh.

Feb 07, 2014 02:46 AM