Viagra . . . . Okay, I admit it; it was me

Viagra . . . . Okay, I admit it; it was me

You know how you hate all of those emails which have been flooding your spam folders about Viagra?  Well, I confess; it was me.  Yes, I am the one who has been sending all of those emails.

But I have a good reason.  I have been trying to stimulate the real estate market.

This is the age of taking action and getting the answers you want, so you can get on your way.

To get the best results from Viagra, I have been spiking the punch at my Open Houses.  Now ladies, be careful if you try this.  You may want to have a companion with you at these Open Houses.

Imagine a nice couple coming to your Open House, who at first are just ho hum about the property, but after a sip of the spiked punch . . .  oh my it is a good thing that the bedrooms were staged.

Of course, you may need to schedule longer Opens for those rare cases which last for 4 hours or more.  However, during this heightened state of stimulation, these guys will be willing to sign anything.  Make sure that you have the contract papers prepared and ready to go.

Have you ever gotten to the point that you knew that you had a sale, when suddenly they state that they will bring their parents by to see the house.  Oh crap, there goes the sale.  No longer a problem.

Have something available to offer the parents when they get to the house, an apple or whatever, injected with a double dose of Viagra.  If they don't fall in love with the house, it will otherwise cause temporary blindness, shortness of breath, dizziness, or faintness and other symptoms which will either prevent them from being able to see the house, or which they will interpret as a sign that it must be the right house if it evokes such feelings.

If people start to see a correlation between house shopping and being highly invigorated, then people will be coming out left and right anxious to see houses.  If we can slip more and more people with a few doses of Viagra, then think of the increase in activity in the real estate market caused from the improved blood flow that these newly excited people will be experiencing.

Yes, my friends, Viagra is not just a stimulant; it is an economic stimulant.

If more serious side effects exist, then all they need to do is call a builder.  I am sure that the increased desires can be handled without a problem and that it will cure any of the builder's erection dysfunction concerns.