Have you ever felt that the person you were talking to wasn’t actually listening? Maybe the other individual wasn’t looking at you or maybe that person was checking text messages while you were relating some information. It’s a little bit disconcerting when this happens. If you’re like me, you continue speaking in hopes that the other person is really listening to you. But, often, they’re not.
According to research reported in Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication, adults spend an average of 70 percent of their time engaged in some sort of communication; of this an average of 45 percent is spent listening. But listening is not the same as hearing. Many of us have acute hearing skills; we can hear a high-pitched note or a whisper. But, are you really listening? Are people really listening to you?
One key factor to success in real estate—no matter the market—is strong listening skills. And, believe it or not, our listening skills get worse as we get older. Sadly, however, it is those very listening skills that you may need in order to get your next real estate transaction all the way to the closing table. Agents who are good listeners are more productive and close more deals because they better understand the needs of the client and what is expected of them.
Ways to Improve Your Listening Skills
For many people, effective listening is something that needs to be learned. With so many distractions around us in contemporary society, we often tend to tune out instead of tuning in.
- Pay attention. Paying attention to those who are speaking is a key step to effective listening. A good listener must be both physically and mentally prepared to pay attention. This may mean aligning the body in a certain way or making eye contact—giving the individual your undivided attention.Paying attention also means turning off your idle thoughts—what time you need to pick up your kid from school or the email you need to send to your newest buyer prospect. If you struggle with mind chatter like this, just take notes while listening.
- Demonstrate that You Are Listening. Visual cues will show the other person that you are listening. You can lean in, tilt your head, or even nod in acknowledgement. The idea is not just to listen, but also to encourage your client or prospect though your body language.Concentrate on the speaker’s words and body language. This will assist you in understanding the speaker’s feelings. Look for a nod of approval of a certain backyard or style of kitchen cabinet and you can bank that information for use when showing additional properties or closing the sale.
- Decode What You’ve Seen and Heard. Absorb all that you have seen and heard and create your meaning. Ask open-ended questions to make sure that you actually interpreted the information correctly. For example, “You say that you like ranch style homes? Can you point out a few that you really like?”When you give the client a chance to restate a thought more clearly, you will have a better picture of exactly what he or she wants.
- Non-Verbal Communication. In addition to paying attention to the meaning of the words spoken, you’ll also need to understand the non-verbal cues you observed. Were the gestures, the tone of voice, and the words all in agreement? Or, did the words say yes, but the body say no?In a business relationship, some people feel a little bit uncomfortable about expressing their candid thoughts. That’s why it’s important to observe to other cues. These non-verbal gestures and actions reveal inner thoughts, attitudes, and emotions that may not have been expressed verbally.
- Paraphrase. Another component of effective listening is confirming your understanding. To do that you can paraphrase, or reword what you heard and observed. For example, you can say, “It sounds like you really like a kitchen with granite countertops and a double oven, preferably of stainless steel.”I notice that politicians frequently paraphrase during interviews and public forums not only as a way to respect the others in the audience that may not have heard the question but also as a way to cement the inquiry and buy time to put together their thoughts. When you paraphrase, you demonstrate that you are truly concerned about the interests of the speaker.
As a real estate professional, it is important for you to connect with clients, prospects, and affiliates. After all, you don’t want them to feel as if a text message, an incoming call, or even the person down the hall is more important than they are. When you demonstrate that you are listening, it helps to cement relationships, to learn and, as a result, to be more efficient in whatever comes your way.
Listening also builds trust. When communication is poor, mistakes increase, and relationships breakdown. As a result, opportunities for sale are missed. If you are seeking to strengthen business relationships, enhance your professional image, and improve your sales effectiveness, then all you need to do is listen. When you listen to your clients, you show them that you only have eyes for them—and that can lead to closed deals and lifelong referrals.
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