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Homebuyers: Don’t Ignore Your Emotions

By
Mortgage and Lending with Equity Resources NMLS 67179 Licensed in NC

Today, more that ever, real estate experts advise consumers to detach their emotions from one of e biggest financial moves of their  life, reminding us that there’s a difference between a “home” and a “house.” I read about one California architecture professor who urges buyers to make sure those emotions get their due.cary homebuyer

Clare Cooper Marcus, author of “House as a Mirror of Self” (Conari Press, $24.95), counts a box of crayons among her preferred tools to draw out deep-seated feelings about homes.  Before you start looking at new house, she suggests that everyone in the family separately doodle a sketch of what the word home brings to mind.  “You should think about the most “homey” home you ever knew, whether it was your childhood home, a grandparent’s home or a friend’s… then try to articulate what it was that made it really wonderful.  Ditto for the neighborhood,” she says.

 

I’ve never heard of anyone approaching the purchase process from this viewpoint, but I found it intriguing.  She further suggests that “you sit down as a family to discuss your drawings.  If you have family members who have completely different ideas about a home, it’s better to find that out now.”  I can definitely see how this would be helpful in blended family situations, and  with multiple aged families (with grandparents and the like pooling resources).

 

The other hint she gives is for folks who look at dozens of houses and still can’t make a decision on the right one.  “It could mean that you haven’t property said goodbye to your old one.  Talk to friends, write letters, even have a little goodbye ceremony to mark the end.”  I could also see how this would be an important step for families who were “forced” for one reason or another, to seek a different home.

 

Getting in touch with the emotions of homebuying allows us to “somehow free ourself so that we can feel pretty comfortable going with our gut reaction to a hew house.”  I think it’s good advice!

 

 

Comments (6)

Chelle Gassan
RE/MAX Regency and Staged Homes VA - Bristow, VA
NOVA Realtor and Stager
I'm not really sure about all this emotional stuff?  I think many buyers need to get their emotions in check and make a sound decision based on logic and facts.
Mar 20, 2008 10:56 AM
Jolynne Photography, Creative Wedding Photography, Family Portraits, Bar Mitzvahs
Jolynne Photography - Hemet, CA
Bat Mitzvahs, Senior Pictures, Event Photography

Eleanor...I'm glad you brought this up.

An integrated life is good. Buying a home is, undoubtedly, an emotional decision, no matter who pretends it's not. The best thing one can do, imo, is to use head, heart and soul in making the decision.

Great stuff.

Mar 20, 2008 05:11 PM
Joe Adams
Major Mortgage USA/Branch Manager - Montrose, CO
Buying a home or selling for that matter is one of the 3 major stressors in life and while yes it is a large financial decision, emotion plays such a big role.  Follow your heart but listen to your brain also
Mar 21, 2008 05:14 AM
Tom Plant
WINEormous.com - Murrieta, CA
Eleanor - Very interesting and it makes sense to me. Somehow I'm having trouble picturing myself handing my clients a box of crayons... but you never know!
Mar 23, 2008 04:52 AM
Eleanor Thorne
Equity Resources - Cary, NC
Advantage Lending 919-649-5058

Joey and Joe:  I agree with both of you guys... "Follow your heart but listen to your brain also"  Powerful stuff.

Chelle:  I can definately see your point - Could be why so many people got into "trouble...?"

 

Mar 23, 2008 04:53 AM
Charlotte Home Loans Your Charlotte Mortgage Lender
Charlotte, NC
This is a great post. Keeping emotions out of your home purchase should be saved for investors. A house becomes a home because of all the emotions it contains. Buying a home with a lack of emotions could carry over in to the living in a home part... that is scary!
Mar 24, 2008 05:01 AM