The Number One Thing That Will Drive Me to Succeed is to Tell Me I Can't Do Something!

The number one thing that will drive me to succeed is to tell me that I can't do something!  I remember, 20 years ago...I was 31 years old teetering....

 

                               

on the brink of a disintegrating marriage with two toddlers, 14 month and 3 years old.  I was in the midst of taking my Real Estate exam, when my husband and I separated.  We had just moved into a new town - where I had no family and no friends...yet... There were challenges   emotional and financial ort.....and certainly from a Real Estate perspective I had "no Circle of Influence" to give me a kick start in my Real Estate career. 

It's really easy in that kind of a situation ‘to have a ‘victim mentality'....Circumstances were tough.....the odds in many ways probably were stacked against me.......It's amazing to me though, how those very things gave me the impetus, adrenalin, energy and focus.........to prove to myself, and to be honest, probably to prove to others....that "I can do it!"

I have to admit, I had no shortage of people saying to me, "I don't know how you're going to manage"; "you need at least 6 months of expenses in the bank before you can get into Real Estate", "it's a tough business and you're going to have to work crazy hours"; and "how are you going to do that with young children?"

I know most of those people cared about me.  They wanted what was best for me.....but it is interesting how often human nature is such that people like to point out all the obstacles in our paths......as if the innocence of youth, or naivete might make us think we can do it....when really it's too hard?  They want to protect us from the potential hurt and disappointment....Like I mean really...what's the alternative?

But being a success, whether it be in your career, your relationships...or in your family...is a function of how well you deal the setbacks isn't it?  When the going gets tough, that's when you need your motivation. You've got to keep feeding and building it.

I read motivational and self help books.  I read about other successful people, to see what they did.  I thought about how I could incorporate their ways of thinking into mine.  It started for me as a sort of mantra.  If they can do it......so can I!  Then it became....if they can do it maybe I can do it better?!...... There are a lot of clever people out there-but I started thinking........how can I stand out?  What can I do differently?  How can I incorporate what's worked for others and yet put a twist on it and make it my own?  Yes even in Real Estate! You don't have to be an entrepreneur with a unique product or service.....But you can be unique in the ‘type of service' you provide.

At any rate....passion, conviction, naivete, maybe.... stirred up with some desperation, spiced with conviction And the support of an incredible manager/broker and mentor - I did it!  I found that for every goal I set for myself, I surpassed it!  And...twenty years later I'm still selling Real Estate.  My kids are now 16, 20 and 22.  I'll let you figure out for yourself how old I am...!

So when someone tells me ‘I can't do something?'  I say... "Bring it on!"'

 
Post is included in group: Diary of a Realtor

12 Comments on The Number One Thing That Will Drive Me to Succeed is to Tell Me I Can't Do Something!

Liz, this is great, you have to have the right attitude and determination when faced with obstacles. Good for you!

03/21/2008 04:22 PM by Debbie Malone, RE/MAX, Lynchburg, Smith Mountain Lake, Real Estate Agent (RE/MAX 1st Olympic, ABR, e-PRO, ASP)


 

You can't give Brian $200,000 !  (I secretly hope you can.)

Sorry I couldn't resist...  :-)

Great Post.  You did what plenty of other people have failed at, and you did it extremely well at a horrible time in your life.

 

Great work. 

 

 

03/21/2008 04:26 PM by Brian Luce (1st Patriot Realty)


I am sort of the same in regards to if someone thinks I can't do something it gets me extremely motivated.

03/21/2008 04:31 PM by Chuck Carstensen (Re/max Associates Plus inc)


Congratulations!!!  You deserve a good pat on the back for a job well done.  Real Estate is not an easy career but if you are realistic and determined it can be a great career.

03/21/2008 04:33 PM by June Piper-Brandon, CRIS, ePro, Broker (Advance Realty Anne Arundel Inc.)


Rock on!  I love your positive spin on life.  :)  I find it amazing that there is this untapped well of strength and determination to use when are faced with adversity.  Glad to hear that you are a living success story!!

05/02/2008 04:04 PM by KRISTA INGRAM (KELLER WILLIAMS REAL ESTATE, LLC)


Liz, now I know why we are soul-sisters...  I tried hard not to cry reading your blog, but I couldn't stop the tears; they just kept coming.  Your words took me back to my own hard times, circumstances very much like yours. 

I was also divorced with two kids.  No family to help - my "blood family" advised me to send my kids away.  My response was:  I'd rather be homeless WITH my kids.  It was the kind of advice that cuts to the bone and I have not been very close to my "blood family" since.  I kept my kids with me.  I worked day and night.  I sold my jewelry, my fur coat, everything material.  I made it through and I learnt so much in the process.

I learnt that my kids are my number one priority.  I learnt that I love them more than I love myself or anything else in this World.  That love propelled me to succeed, like nothing else could.   When I saw that movie "The Pursuit of Happiness" I belly cried.  What that father went through was so familiar.  He did not give up his beloved son.  Nothing came easy to him either.  But he was driven by that love and it took him to the other side.  Now he is extremely successful.  Nothing can drive a good parent like the love he/she has for his/her children.  Nothing! 

There is an extraordinary bond between me and my children.  That love did well for them.  They are very joyous and successful and I am one proud mother!  I, too, made it to the other side.  My business is very successful and I have a very good life.  I never forget where I've been.  Helping other mothers in need is my life's goal.  I, will never tell a mother to send her kids away, so she could have an easier life.  If you know of a mother in need, just send her my way!  Soul-sisters!

05/02/2008 07:00 PM by Mirela Monte, Your Myrtle Beach Connection


Liz, in case you are wondering: I just made that group.  Will you be my partner there too?  

Soul Sisters!

05/02/2008 07:09 PM by Mirela Monte, Your Myrtle Beach Connection


Debbie:  I think I first wrote this before I realizedyou could respond to 'comments' so sorry I didn't.......thanks for the supportive comments!

Brian:  Whatta guy......thanks for those really nice comments..........again only now I'm responding......boy I've learned a lot in 2 months!  :-)

Chuck:  There's definitely something about a challenge!

June:  Thank you - so sweet.........that all seems like such a long time ago......in retrospect it didn't seem that hard....funny eh?

05/02/2008 09:03 PM by Liz Moras, Re/Max Associate Broker Chilliwack (Vancouver), B.C. (Remax Nyda Realty Chilliwack B.C.)


Krista:  Yes the adrenalin of adversity....especially when it comes to looking after your kids.........i'm sure its a God given gift!  Thanks for commenting.

05/02/2008 09:05 PM by Liz Moras, Re/Max Associate Broker Chilliwack (Vancouver), B.C. (Remax Nyda Realty Chilliwack B.C.)


Mirella - Wow another power story.........I posted that when I first joined.....I think it was my first or 2nd post.....but I didn't know about posting to different groups......or any groups for that matter!  It was just the first thing that came to mind that day.........Children definitely are one of the Gods most amazing miracles and gifts to us............sometimes we do them right, and sometimes we don't.........but the heart is always trying.........Sometimes I think it was easier when they were younger.....the need was so great........now maybe there isn't quite the same drive? hmm I don't know... But thanks Mirella - you move me to by your story........and I'm so glad your babes have grown up to be such beautiful children and that you have a wonderful relationship with them!  Soul sister is great!  Another new group........!  Thats wonderful..and I love to partner with you in that!....and thanks for adding me as an associate!  I keep forgetting about that category..:-)

05/02/2008 09:11 PM by Liz Moras, Re/Max Associate Broker Chilliwack (Vancouver), B.C. (Remax Nyda Realty Chilliwack B.C.)


Liz girl, I knew we had a lot in common. I also love a good challenge. I knew by reading what you've written that you were a go getter and a winner. I'm interested in what happened next. Did you end up divorced? Was there another guy for you? I'm sure you had to beat them off with a stick...sorry it's a Texas saying.

That perserverance is exactly what it takes for 1. a woman to survive in this world...2. a Real Estate agent to survive and 3. to do more than survive but to lay a path for a good life.

You pulled it off! Yea Rah!!!! I have a pittiful story of divorce when my kids were very young. I'll get to it.

I plan to fill my Diary. I love reading about my friends. I'm proud of you. Your kids will love reading this too. I'm soooo glad you brought it back out for us.

Later in the rain~Deb

 

07/22/2008 11:41 PM by Deb at Brooks Prime Properties


Deb.....oh yes there was more.........2 years later I remarried and had another baby......my new husband left when I was 4 months pregnant....so yeah I had 3 children under 6....I was out showing houses the day I got home from the hospital........and making appointments while in the hospital labor bed..........And sometimes I think it was easier then then it is now......children are a powerful motivator.......

07/22/2008 11:55 PM by Liz Moras, Re/Max Associate Broker Chilliwack (Vancouver), B.C. (Remax Nyda Realty Chilliwack B.C.)


Leave a response…

Name:
Notify me of new comments:
Comment:
What does the graphic say?
 
Real Estate Agent: Liz Moras, Re/Max Associate Broker Chilliwack (Vancouver), B.C.  (Remax Nyda Realty Chilliwack B.C.)
Liz Moras, Re/Max Associate Broker Chilliwack (Vancouver), B.C.
Chilliwack, BC
More about me…
Remax Nyda Realty Chilliwack B.C.

Office Phone: (604) 858-7179
Cell Phone: (604) 799-0459
Email Me
I look forward to this opportunity to share with both my fellow Realtors and my local Chilliwack, British Columbia community......little Real Estate anecdotes, tidbits of info - sometimes cutting edge and double edged swords of savy - as well as some 'what were they... or better yet, what was I thinking moments????
View My Stats

Links

Tags (Tag Cloud)

Archives

RSS 2.0 Feed for this blog
ATOM 1.0 Feed for this blog

Find BC real estate agents and Chilliwack real estate here on ActiveRain.
Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to our visitors to help them make an informed decision when buying or selling a house. ActiveRain Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members of this community.
© 2007 ActiveRain Corp. All Rights Reserved