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Don't Ask "How Far Along Are You?" to a Woman at a Closing!

By
Mortgage and Lending with Cherry Creek Mortgage Illinois Residential Mortgage License LMB #0005759 Cherry Creek Mortgage NMLS #: 3001 NMLS ID# 158606

 

I'm at this closing feeling AWESOME!  Slick closing.  Great buyers and great sellers.  I represent the seller at their attorney.  The buyer comes in and mom is all big and smily.  She's wearing her maternity pants with those big fat expandable bands for future growth.

I'm sitting there a proud as a peacock.  It's end of the month and we're kicking butt and taking names.  What could be better right?  To keep the excited move for this move up family I open size 11 mouth and insert size 12 foot.

"So...When Are You Due?" I ask as the buyer sits down in her maternity garb (yes....I looked for the maternity clothes so that I wouldn't make the same mistake twice).

BUYER:  "We're not pregnant, I just lost the baby."WHERE ARE YOU SOUTHWEST AIRLINES???

"How cool is this I think to myself?  I just screwed the pooch and the package and the lender hasn't even arrived.  This is gonna be a lot of fun!"

So....Im thinking to myself....where is Southwest Airlines when I need them?  Damn.

I offer my condolences and change the topic to topics that are more fun.  I move to the deed, amortization schedules, and title and surveys.  She perks up and by the end of the closing she and I are great.  The husband doesn't warm up, but the wife was warm and engaging.

You see I did this once before about 7 years ago and swore I'd never do this again, but the maternity pants.  That big spandex band!  How could I be so wrong.

This time...when I say never again I mean it!

 

 

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Comments(12)

Geri Sonkin
Douglas Elliman Real Estate 516-457-7103 - Merrick, NY
Long Island Real Estate & Staging Expert

That is a very good lesson. What a painful place to be for all of you.  As my old partner used to say, "the less said, the easiest mended."

Apr 03, 2014 07:04 AM
Hillary Sheperd
Servpro of Scarsdale / Mount Vernon - Scarsdale, NY
Co-Owner ~ Servpro of Scarsdale / Mount Vernon, NY

Oh gosh, I feel for you. But, I'm glad you picked yourself up.

Apr 03, 2014 07:39 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

Larry, I mentioned this very thing to someone the other day. It was an honest question. How were you to know.  We don't shrink back down overnight even when we deliver a happy healthy baby.  I get you though ... probably not a good discussion to have, just in case.

Apr 03, 2014 07:46 AM
Margaret Goss
@Properties - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

Never - ever - ever - ever.  If a woman is pregnant and she wants you to know, she'll let you know.  

I have a yoga teacher who looked pregnant.  I never said a word until I heard her talking to someone else about it and then I felt free to bring it up.  But I won't ever start THAT conversation.

Glad it turned out sort-of okay.

Apr 03, 2014 07:55 AM
Larry Bettag
Cherry Creek Mortgage Illinois Residential Mortgage License LMB #0005759 Cherry Creek Mortgage NMLS #: 3001 - Saint Charles, IL
Vice-President of National Production

Geri....I sure wish that there was less said!  That's for sure!!!

Hillary....builds character right?

Kathy.....it was crazy.  SPANDEX PANTS WITH THAT MATERNITY BAND!!!!

Margaret.....the cool thing about something bad....IS WHEN IT'S OVER!!!!

 

Apr 03, 2014 09:59 AM
David Shamansky
US Mortgages - David Shamansky - Highlands Ranch, CO
Creative, Aggressive & 560 FICO - OK, Colorado Mtg

Yep been there done that and like you said never again and fortunately, unlike you, that was almost 20 years ago and I have kept true to word. If I am not WITNESSING delivery I dont ask, period!

Apr 03, 2014 12:48 PM
Tammie White, Broker
Franklin Homes Realty LLC - Franklin, TN
Franklin TN Homes for Sale

I had a friend who was once asked when she was due and she wasn't even pregnant. Like you, I'm sure I would have asked. How could you possibly know?

Apr 03, 2014 02:37 PM
William J. Archambault, Jr.
The Real Estate Investment Institute - Houston, TX

Larry,

I've been around long enough that I though I seen or done just about every thing, but you got me on this one!

I have mistaken gender, but the guy was flattered. What can I say 20 years lending in Vegas.

Bill

Apr 03, 2014 04:30 PM
Liz and Bill Spear
Transaction Alliance 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
Transaction Alliance Cincinnati & Dayton suburbs

Larry, Until the baby's head is out and he or she is waving at everyone, I'm not asking!  I've seen the mistake made in person a couple of times, so I don't bring it up until the what I believe to be pregnant woman says something specific that spills the beans.  Bill

Apr 03, 2014 11:31 PM
Hillary Sheperd
Servpro of Scarsdale / Mount Vernon - Scarsdale, NY
Co-Owner ~ Servpro of Scarsdale / Mount Vernon, NY

Gosh Larry...have so done this.  Grrr, ya' just want to take size whatever foot out of mouth and kick oneself with it.  Someone asked me this after my miscarriage many years ago.  Was at a wedding in a cute sparkly new dress and this drunk-ish guy comes up and asks the same ?.  I said "I'm not pregnant anymore, I'm just fat."  The bar tender (a woman) was laughing so hard she had to crouch behind the bar.  No worries mate, we all go through this.

Apr 07, 2014 06:22 AM
Pete Xavier
Investments to Luxury - Pacific Palisades, CA
Outstanding Agent Referrals-Nationwide

Like William #8 I have mistaken gender on several occasions, it can truly be difficult in some areas!

May 13, 2014 09:43 AM
Fran Gaspari
Patriot Land Transfer, Inc. - Limerick, PA
"The Title Man" - Title Insurance - PA & NJ

Larry,

Just had to comment on this post...!!!

I have a different take on this...First of all, I have been guilty of the exact same faux pas...But...I take it as an opportunity to include someone else on my ever expanding  prayer list...!!!

Having experienced a miscarriage ourselves, prayer is the only thing that can lift your very depressed spirits at times like this...Yes, The Holy Spirit led you to ask the question because of their urgent need for prayer support...!!!

I can say more, but I know you get where I'm coming from...!!!

Hope everything is good with an old blogging buddy and good friend...!!!

Thanks,   Fran

Nov 28, 2014 10:22 PM