I'm b-a-a-ack. Yes, it's Blooper Day again, and goofs were everywhere this past week. Reading the MLS was like reading a comic book, and the local real estate ads were even more, uh, "creative." I also received some very funny submissions from my sharp-eyed colleagues. Thanks to Jan Pastras, Jane Peters and Patrick Martin, all of L.A., for their help with all the fun. Please enjoy:
Bones
"Condo has food bones" (Offered by Carnivore Condos - Motto: "We kill it, we eat it, and then we sell it.")
"Construction complete in Mars" (You should consider setting up business there.)
"This is a nice hoof" (A little humility would go a long way, Satan.)
"Clogs in bath removed" (Headline: Nude Riverdancer has fatal accident while clogging in the shower.)
Boneheads
"Spa hater being fixed" (Spa or spay? Apparently you're very serious about your Jacuzzi!)
"New construption" (In Newark, that's called a Mob-job.)
"Buyers will love medic rooom" (Have you been sampling the meds, lovey?)
"Fern won't stay" (Can you at least train her to fetch?)
"All quesetions answered in discovers" (Perhaps you'll discover a dictionary.)
Bon Appetite
"Trash hollers Fri" (Sign on the dumpster behind Tony Two-Fingers' Pork-Packing Store.)
"Fondation proplems" (That's just the beginning of your problems...)
"Check mao for directions" (Can I get eggroll with that?)
"Seller remains" (After an unsuccessful attempt to explain the dead guy in the closet, Realtor Rita finally admitted to an "unfortunate accident" while honing her knife-throwing skills.)
"Electric chair on stairs" (Any last words, Rita?)
Bon Voyage
"We have bend over everything" (Then I suggest you bend over and kiss your a_ _ goodbye.)
That's it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!
Please be sure to view my beautiful California listings at: http://www.gwenbanta.com. Thank you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-ZOjvwTEZ8&feature=youtu.be
http://www.victorylodgeinfo.com/
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