When asked to tell someone who we are, most of us will start off with what they do for a living a marital status, and how many children if any. We are so much more than we could ever sum up in a few passing statistics. Recently Endre Barath, JR.asked us to write a post
What event in your life/the world led you to where you are today?
There are a zillion life experiences that have made me who I am today, what makes me a good agent, why I am successful in my chosen profession. I would have to say the single one event that changed my direction, how I work, how I live, my professional drive, and my happiness would have to be the events of 1992.
Back in the 80's I was working as a Realtor in Northern California. For more than ten years, I lived at the top of a timbered mountain, overlooking two blink-your-eye-and-miss-them towns. With a view of Mt. Shasta and beauty as far as the hawk could see, I felt at home. I worked hard and was taught many lessons by the land. Like most of the people in the area, I had built a home made of sweat, blood, hopes and tears, grown livestock and enough vegetables to eat and sell. I was young and was still paying my dues in my real estate career, but figured that it would come in time.
Life was not perfect; far from it. I was in a bad marriage, I just got done with cancer treatments, we had several deaths in the family, my kids were young and things were a struggle. In many ways I was a beaten soul and and as foolish as it was I felt resigned to live with the hand I was dealt and I have no doubt it showed in my career. I lived through many difficult trials during that time, but I found the beauty surrounding me comforted me greatly. I used to sit on two large boulders looming over the creek, and fondly called them my "thinking rocks". No matter what problem plagued me, I could go there and listen to the rush of the water and enjoy the scent of the pines. By the time I walked back to the house, things always seemed a lot better.
Then in 1992 we were hit by a forest fire and before it was over, 65,000 acres had burned, along with 350 homes. I had about 40 listings that were all burned clear down to the foundation. On that first day, a fire ball exploded above my home. Trees were 'crowning' and going off like bombs. I was forced to flee for my life, leaving house, cars, possessions, and animals to burn. The town was evacuated but we stayed behind with a generator so we could pump gas for the fire engines. I can remember looking up the hill watching my home go up in flames and I held my hands up in the air and said "Ok God, I'm listening" I think it took me almost a year to actually listen and figure out what I was doing wrong.
It became a common sight to see new cookie-cutter homes going up where homes with real character had once stood. One day, as I was driving into town, I passed by one of these homes, and found myself slamming on the brakes. The owner had painted it a bright red, purple and gold! I went to the door and knocked because I just had to know what possessed her to do such a thing. She answered the door and smiled at my shocked question. She said, "It is the Phoenix rising from the ashes. Our rebirth!" I never wanted to paint my house those colors but I sure thought about the idea behind it, during many struggles since.
My life has changed since then, for I find myself in less need of those "thinking rocks". I learned to climb out of the ashes and I have found my happiness. I got out of a bad marriage, remarried and we built a few homes, a business and a fullfilling life.
Sometimes we talk about the fire, sometimes we can't. However, we have both come to the same conclusion: We all become who we are by the things we endure. We wind up where our chosen paths lead us. If it took losing everything to be here now, with each other, living this life, then it was a price well worth paying. This is our treasure and our happiness.
I learned that we are never just stuck with what life deals us. IN my professional life I learned that It doesn't have to take a catastrophe to force a life change but every life change certainly has the potential to feel like a catastrophe. Uprooting a life and moving to a new home is a big life change and it really does matter. I often have clients who are changing jobs, getting divorced or married, having kids, moving to a new home. As human beings we universally have a few basic needs: Shelter, food, family, purpose. When something disrupts this we are at a loss. The disruptions in life, these changes have a profound effect on people. I can recognize that life becomes a little too real, a little overwhelming and everything seems crucial because it is effecting their lives in a very big way. I learned to put myself in my clients shoes and exercise empathy as they navigated through their life changes and in turn we become friends. I am not longer that real estate agent that they can't remember the name of and in turn I wind up with far more than a paycheck when escrow closes.
We all have many milestones in our life and we have stepping stones to get from one end to the next. Sometimes the best support you can offer is to help someone to keep moving forward, and to let them know that they can always rise from the ashes!
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