· Sometimes you'll look down at your watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
· Always wear nice underwear, you never know when you might get lucky or need a doctor.
· Someday you will miss Today
· Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
· Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how living remains so popular?
· You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
· You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
· Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
· The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
· Being successful means something different to each person..Respect that.
· There will always be prettier and uglier people than you.
· Playing dumb is sometimes the smartest thing to do.
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