I’m Good For Everything – Except Listing Your House?

I can understand both positions. I think it could have been prevented with an early statement that "if you decide to list with someone else, can I do a referral for you?"

This happened to me recently.  My response was straight and to the point.  I thought it was BS and I told her (brother's mother in law) exactly that and ripped her for wasting my time.  

Hello Gabrielle! I guess that's called "expectations", and we have all been there in this sort of situation. Now, I stand back and say little and never jump in with free information and help. Not until the magic word 'contract' comes up and the paperwork is signed.

Once upon a time, at a cocktail reception a doctor and lawyer met. In the course of the conversation, the doc says that he always hates it when people find out he's a doctor, they always pump him for free advice, like a free medical diagnostic of their ailments. The lawyer sympathized with the doctor, and in turn says she had the same problem. People find out I'm a lawyer and will ask me for free advice about their problems. But the lawyer insists she fixed that. She says that every time someone asks for free advice, she sends them a bill the next day for professional services rendered. Doc thinks it's a great idea to implement and thanks the lawyer. The next day, the doc shows up at his office and finds a bill from the lawyer.

So why are we giving away free consultations?

This happens all the time. I suppose one way to short-circuit the process is to ask early one when they are picking your brain if they plan to list with you (of course they can always lie). Recently I lost out on a listing because the husband wanted to list with me as he felt I had the right credentials to do the job, but the wife wanted to list with her best friend and that best friend got the business. So sometimes it works in reverse.

Actually, most dealings with close friends or relatives can turn into a lose-lose situation, and a sale of a home, that we all know can become very stressful, is at the top of the list. Sad but true.

Yes to the "ouch" factor. That is a given when you find out that your services have been passed over. What can you do? Rejection for a human being doesn't sit well but it sits never the less wherever it wants...

I was in a similar situation except I found out when I saw his property listed on the MLS - no notice ahead of time or explanation from him afterwards.  When I told my husband about it, he chose to deal with it by ending his friendship of 25+ years with the man.  To make matters worse, I think he could've gotten quite a bit more money than he did.  Such a shame all around.  Unfortunately, I think this happens to every Realtor at least once.

I would have had the discussion upfront.  I have had this done to me as well. Then things went south with the other realtor and they are now in court proceedings.  I'm still asked advice but I redirect the conversation.  I no longer give advice for free.  This is our career it is how we pay our bills.  It takes courage and respect for yourself.

Just a quick comment on the friend...he had no problem taking so was he really concerned about what might happen? Maybe time for a new friend.

This story is not unique. There should have been a clear understanding from the beginning. The owner should have been transparent about intent, and the agent should have known that no good deed goes unpunished and giving away information for free comes without strings.

Gabrielle, that is why I don't give any advice about improvements or pricing until the seller signs on the dotted line. It only took one situation very much like this.

A seller called in response to an expired letter I sent. I told him he needed to paint his entire house, replace carpeting and de-clutter. I explained that once the work was done we could sell it for more than his previous agent had it listed...$75,000 more. He made the improvements and we agreed upon price but he didn't want to sign the documents until the day we were actually going to list.

A week later, it hit the MLS listed with his previous agent. Are you kidding me? It sold in 21 days for $775,000. I don't give free advice anymore. They want my expertise, they pay for it.

I always love it when they answer you saying, well you can always bring me a buyer. The other one I love is we chose an agent who sells more homes in the neighborhood, and this is their first listing in the area.

Hard to take, but I agree with Tammie, no free advice, that comes when you sign the listing agreement.

I think this is a common thing among family and friends when you're in any type of business. they will bleed you dry for information and resource then give the business to someone else for various reasons. It's a catch 22 because it's hard to say no to loved ones. 

Gabrielle, I feel for her, too. In fact, I avoid answering many questions unless I am going to list - may be I am direct?

Hi Gabrielle -- that person should be ashamed of himself!  It is far too common an occurrence for a consumer to run an agent around only to not hire them.  I think that it has a lot to do with that it is perceived that the information is free and therefore there is no value.  I feel for your friend and, hopefully, agents who have read this article will not fall into the same trap.

I would have the conversation in the beginning.  I would also minimize or avoid answering questions until a firm decision has been made on who will list the home.

I feel as tho no matter about the discussion up front, he had his mind made up in the beginning.  I hate that they weren't sharing that part of the the sale, instead of using you.

We see no loyalty from buyers all the time.  Same situation in most cases.

Hi Gabrielle,

Your friend erred in that she assumed the listing would go to her, and she didn't have a conversation before she was providing all sorts of information.  Understandably, it may have been a slightly difficult issue to raise.

The greater error was by the home seller, who likewise was in error since he also never disclosed his plans, which surely would have been an uncomfortable discussion to have.  Not that his points aren't valid, but he knew the agent wouldn't take kindly.

In looking to prevent a potential harm in the relationship, he ensured it would be forever destroyed.

In my case from a few years ago, I'd not been asked for info, but I was driving and saw our friend's home with a For Sale sign on the lawn.  I stopped the car (wife worked from home) and knocked on the door.  She opened it, saw me and said "Oh, I've been meaning to call you".  I thanked her, walked out, and will never likely see them again.  I'm not sure that's the right way to be, but at the moment, the only forgiveness I was able to muster was to not get crazy and rip her a new one (as #30) in front of her kids.

Great post Gabrielle...maybe it's been drilled into my head so much but I always say 'I'd love to represent you in the sale and provide that information to you'. I like to know where their commitment is up front, before I invest a lot of time and effort.

Just came across this post - I would have sucked it up since I am confrontation averse but the suggestions were great.