"Shannon, we are not moving forward with this house. We know the value is there,it is the best house we have seen, it is in the right area and it is well within our price range. We just feel that the sellers are not negotiating enough....it is just the principle of the matter."
Definitions of principle on the Web:
a basic generalization that is accepted as true and that can be used as a basis for reasoning or conduct; "their principles of composition characterized all their works"
- a rule or standard especially of good behavior; "a man of principle"; "he will not violate his principles"
- rule of personal conduct
- wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Is there transient value in the principle of a situation? At what point does pride,honor and a sense of fair play become a hindrance to your goals? When do you stand your perceived ground and at what cost do you become unyielding on what seems to be a character value in the other party to your real estate transaction?
Let me start by saying that the above questions do not pertain to a seller who is trying to defraud the buyer or is misleading the agent or buyer in anyway. I am speaking only in the context of negotiating a price,terms,repairs, etc that are within the realm of realistic expectations for our market and within that situation the principle argument becomes an issue. It is this instance where I believe that principles and emotions becomes a stumbling block to the goals that buyers and their agents are trying to reach.
I, as an Exclusive Buyer's Representative have a duty to my clients to gently remove this obstacle from their path. To put it bluntly, your goal as a buyer is not to "teach" the seller your principals or to make a stand for your principals in general. Your goal as a buyer at this juncture is to obtain the home that you and your family want and deserve, at a price that is at market and terms that meet your needs. That is your goal and my JOB.
So here is my answer to above comment:
"Mr. and Mrs. Buyer, I understand that you feel the seller is being somewhat unyielding on (what ever the problem is) but let me ask you this.... If this is the house for you,the price is at or below market and the terms are reasonable why would you allow someone who has no personal ties to you dictate your family's housing needs? When we close on this house next month, your relationship with the seller is over and done with and in the long run you will have won because you and your family got the home you wanted and deserved. Isn't that the principal of the matter?"
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