A New Day - Ask And Receive - 3 Reasons We Don't Ask For What We Want

Ask And Receive

 

The three main reasons we don’t ask for what we want:

 

1. Ignorance

We don’t know what is available and possible

A story is told of a thief in ancient times who stole a magnificent coat. When he returned to his friends after selling the coat to a merchant, his closest friend asked him how much he had sold the coat for. “A hundred pieces of silver,” was his reply. “You mean to tell me you only got a hundred pieces of silver for that magnificent coat?” asked his friend. “Is there a number higher than a hundred?” asked the thief.

 

            We don’t know how to ask.

Most of us don’t know how to ask. Most of us never received any instructions in clear and straightforward asking at home or at school.  What most of us did see over and over was nagging, whining, bitching, moaning and complaining.  We saw innuendos, hints and vague requests, but very rarely the straightforward communication of needs, wants and desires.  If we never saw these skills demonstrated, it is very hard to learn and integrate them into our lives.

                                                                                         

            We don’t know what we really need and want.

Most of us are out of touch with our real needs and desires because we were continually ignored, rejected or shamed for expressing them as a child. We may have been criticized, put down and ridiculed for boldly and repeatedly asking for what we wanted, so it became safer and less painful not to. So we simply buried our desires.

 

2. Limiting and Inaccurate Beliefs                          

Another big barrier to asking for what we want are the limiting and negative beliefs that have been programmed into our subconscious and which now silently control all of our actions.  We have learned from our failures and traumatic experiences in life that if you don’t want too much, then you won’t be disappointed.

 

     How many of these apply to your childhood memories:

                    Quit bothering me with your whining and your questions

                    Quit hounding your mother

                    Leave your grandmother alone

                    I don’t want to hear about it

                    I don’t have time for that right now

                    What do you want now

                    You’re so selfish. All you ever think about is yourself

                   You never consider anyone’s needs but your own

                    It’s my way or the highway

                    As long as you live in my house you’ll live by my rules

                    I don’t care what you want

                    Just shut up and do what you’re told

                    It’s not polite to ask

 

3. Fear

As a result of the negative, painful and shameful experiences of our childhood, we become afraid to participate, afraid to go after those things we truly want and desire. We become afraid of rejection, looking foolish, losing face and being vulnerable and hurt by others. As a result of these fears, we become passive.  We settle for less than we really want and we sit in judgment of others who are getting what we want.  We don’t have the courage to ask for or the self-discipline to create.  We end up using all of our energy to protect ourselves against boogey men we have created in our minds instead of using those energies to create what we want.

 

            We fear rejection

            We fear looking stupid

            We fear being vulnerable

            We fear humiliation

 

 

Realize that you have nothing to lose by asking.  It is silly to be afraid that you are not going to get what you want if you ask.  Because you are already not getting what you want.  Realize that this is true! Without asking you already have failed, you already have nothing.

 

What are you afraid of? You’re afraid of getting what you already have!  It’s ridiculous! Who cares if you don’t get it when you ask for it, because, before you ask for it, you don’t have it anyway.

 

So there really is nothing to be afraid of, is there?

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