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What's With the Attitude?

By
Home Stager with Faulkner House Interior Redesign

   What's With The Attitude?????

 

Clients assume that I watch all of the design, decorating and real estate shows on HGTV, Fine Living and Discovery (Who has that kind of time even with TIVO?) and they will comment to me about things they have seen recently, thinking I know the episode they just saw. 

 

One thing I am asked a lot is why the designers, redesigners, stagers and hosts have these attitudes toward the homeowners and their things.  Good question. There are a lot of reasons I can think of, but no excuses.

 

Producers want drama in their shows and nothing is more dramatic than conflict.  Emotions run high when a home is being sold.  The details, the timing, the expenses, the worry-all create High Anxiety.  Enter the staging expert to pass judgement on the homeowners' biggest investment, their tastes, their furnishings and the way they have cared (or not cared) for their home. 

 

The host plays up the drama, what will the expert say about this home?  Find out after the commercial!  Apparently viewers are drawn to it because these shows have a huge fan base. Producers are convinced it works - it is a formula that is employed in so many of the shows with slight variations.

 

I'm sorry if the people chosen are hired to play the part of the bad guy and are told to be this way but I find many of the comments mean spirited and downright rude.  Just because they aren't saying these things to the homeowner's face doesn't mean that they have the right to make smart comments at the homeowner's expense.  They know that the walk through will be viewed by the homeowner.  Evaluation doesn't have to be harsh.  There is a way to deliver bad news that gets the point across without being condescending or humiliating. 

 

It's no wonder people don't embrace real estate staging as a necessity in a slow market.  If the perception is that a stager is going to come in and criticize everything they own and treat them like they are idiots for picking certain wall colors, then why would they subject themselves to that kind of treatment?  I find it a disservice to the real estate staging profession. 

 

Sometimes when a Realtor brings me, it is the homeowner who has the attitude.  He or she may be defensive from the onset and I can tell immediately that I need to correct some misconceptions.  Before we take a tour of the home I explain that I am part of the team and our goal is to showcase the home in the best possible way, keeping in mind that they still need to live in it as comfortably as possible.  I give them the reality check speech that we all do. Usually that clears the air enough to do the tour and discuss options.  When it comes time to sit down and make decisions, invariably I will be told, "You're not what I/We expected."  They expected a CRITIC.

 

Now I'm not saying that they always love what I have to tell them or that they go along with all of my suggestions at first or even that they don't question the need for some things.  I know that I will often have to be the bearer of bad tidings and that's the downside of being a stager.  If I have bad news I can at least break it to them in the nicest way possible.

 

I try to remember that not everyone is on the same wavelength.  Because of the many cultural differences in our society it is not only what we say but how we say it- the tone of voice, the body language and of course, our choice of words that can make or break a client relationship and the success of a home staging.  

 

That's the kind of attitude I wish the shows would embrace! 

Patricia Murray
Premiere Plus Realty Co. - Naples, FL
I'm with you Pam.... I have the listing side of a wonderful home - priced right (needs updating and priced for that)-- and the new owner (buyer) comes in with decorator )sister-in-law --- just so distasteful in her need to be looked upon as superior or with "good taste --- Now the seller - an elderly lady with such composure and quality --- decorated to taste 13 years ago! I was telling my sister that I thought the buyer either won the lottery or came into some inheritance -- trying to make the point that $ doesn't buy good taste --- just kind of joking around . and then..... I found out she did inherit some $ recently and the funniest part is that her previous property (worth a third of new purchase) is now on the market with pictures and a virtual tour on line.. dare I say to look at her taste! Sometimes you just have to smile inside sometimes!
Mar 31, 2008 11:38 AM
Patty McPherson
Orderly Manor Organizing & Redesign/Staging Services - Plymouth, MA
Orderly Manor

Pam,

Well said!  I appreciate the advice, too, because I want to make sure I am delivering information in the right way, and it sounds like you strike a good balance.  If people have certain expectations of a Stager that are negative, it helps no one; those expectations can throw off the whole idea of helping them to sell the house which impacts the REA, you, and the sellers.

Thanks for posting,

Patty

Mar 31, 2008 10:15 PM
Sandra Hughes
Redesigned Spaces - Northern Virginia - Fairfax, VA
Redesigned Spaces - Fairfax County, Virginia
I always start off by telling the home seller that there is nothing wrong with their taste and their home but we are decorating it for selling not for living and when I go to sell my own home I will have to change many things as well.
Apr 02, 2008 12:38 PM
Pam Faulkner
Faulkner House Interior Redesign - Herndon, VA
Room Transformations Fairfax & Loudoun Counties VA

Pat, it's difficult to counter attitudes like the one you mentioned. All decorating styles eventually become dated, no matter how lovely or creative.  Some will eventually become classic or retro if enough time goes by.  We can freshen a look within time and budget constraints.  Buyers need to check their attitude at the door and get a reality check about their expectations when buying older homes! 

Patty, our jobs sometimes require us to use psychology, intuition, diplomacy and common sense-how would we want to be treated?  Oh, and we need to be mind readers too-that helps.

Sandra,yes, how we furnish a home for living is not necessarily how we furnish it for selling.  Try telling that to people who are "into" forms of entertainment that are not exactly "G-rated"!

Apr 02, 2008 01:01 PM
Angel Walker
Keller Williams Realty Atlanta Partners - Johns Creek, GA

Pam, this is very well put.  I just addressed very issue at a Realtor meeting this week.  I told them the TV shows were a double-edged sword for us: great for awareness, but very misleading in how we treat our clients.

I'm no judge.  I try to get that across very early on.  The sooner we can convince our clients of that fact, the better it is for everyone.

Apr 19, 2008 11:23 AM
Tori Lynn Wallitsch
Prudential Ambassador / Ross Designs, LLC - Omaha, NE
It's not difficult to be diplomatic when offering suggestions to sellers about changes they should consider making to get their house marketable.  I agree with you - the producers of these shows like to create drama to excite the viewers, the average joe. When I do watch those shows I fastforward through the critiques and basically just watch the work so I can learn more about materials and technique.
Apr 19, 2008 01:17 PM
Pam Faulkner
Faulkner House Interior Redesign - Herndon, VA
Room Transformations Fairfax & Loudoun Counties VA

Angel, how did the Realtors respond to the issue?  I'd be interested in their take on the subject.  Do they perceive it (the attitude) the same way we do?

Tori, like you I look at the results and sometimes the sources.  It isn't too realistic for us either because the homeowners are really motivated and will go along with just about anything. That's rare.

Apr 19, 2008 01:40 PM
Terry Haugen STAGE it RIGHT! 321-956-2495
Stage it Right! - Melbourne, FL
Pam you are correct!  I for one would lock my door if a stager were to try to gain entry, and I'm a stager!  I think all of us consider our homes sacred, and the mere thought of someone coming in and intruding is enough to make anyone hostile, including me! :-)
Apr 19, 2008 03:26 PM
Terrylynn Fisher
Dudum Real Estate Group - BuyStageSell.com - Walnut Creek, CA
HAFA Certified, EcoBroker, CRS, CSP Realtor, Etc.
And that's why you are successful staging or probably at everything in life that you try.  You treat people with respect, like you would like to be treated.  What a concept.  Go get em girl. 
Apr 19, 2008 07:00 PM
Pam Faulkner
Faulkner House Interior Redesign - Herndon, VA
Room Transformations Fairfax & Loudoun Counties VA

Terry, that's so funny, I think I would feel the same.  No one wants to be judged and it is only natural to feel as if someone is invading your space.  I used to feel that way when I first had my home cleaned professionally after I fractured my back in an accident and was immobile.  Talk about feeling vulnerable!  Try being in a hospital bed in your living room and watching people move your things around.  Good thing I was on major drugs or I might have flipped out!  

Terrylynn, thank you!  You said it exactly. It's the Golden Rule. My experience mentioned above may have made me more sensitive to other people's feeling about their things.  I think, and would hope, that most people would be sensitive too.  ht's why I wonder about the people who have these attitudes, in public, and where it can be recorded.  Wonder if they cringe when they watch themselves on TV?  I hope so.

Apr 20, 2008 05:20 AM
Pam Faulkner
Faulkner House Interior Redesign - Herndon, VA
Room Transformations Fairfax & Loudoun Counties VA

I just read Virginia Tatseos' blog, Are We Beating a Dead Horse? which talks about her conversation with a Realtor about staging.  You have got to see the photos that go along with it.  Certainly the Realtor knew about staging,  but apparently she was resistant to the process.  Why? Is it because of the preconceived notions that I mentioned above?  Is it possible though that she somehow missed the memo about prepping a home for sale?

Jul 01, 2008 09:25 AM
Michael Fontana
Round Rock Home Stager Austin Home Staging - Round Rock, TX
@ The Stage Coach

Great Post, Pam:
My intro always includes a "I am not here to insult you or your things.  Just tell you what I see from a buyer's perspective..."  Let's think like sales people - if you want to develop further business from the initial consultation, does it make sense to insult them when you walk in the door? 

Michael - The Stage Coach - Round Rock Austin Home Stager

Jul 01, 2008 09:39 AM
Nancy Cleary
www.nancycleary.com - walnut creek - california - Walnut Creek, CA

Pam, great blog.  I hate those shows because of the lack of respect and I feel like a voyeur to an argument, something like how Dr. Phil handles things...or Dr. Laura on the radio.  Do they have any idea how they sound?  The attitude is, let me beat you up, so you will see it my way.  I don't think so!

Jul 01, 2008 10:00 AM
Pam Faulkner
Faulkner House Interior Redesign - Herndon, VA
Room Transformations Fairfax & Loudoun Counties VA

Michael, that's a good way to put a homeowner at ease.  They want an ally, not an adversary. No, it doesn't make sense to insult anyone for any reason.  It just make the person delivering the insult look bad, regardless of the situation.  Thanks for commenting!

Jul 01, 2008 10:06 AM
Pam Faulkner
Faulkner House Interior Redesign - Herndon, VA
Room Transformations Fairfax & Loudoun Counties VA

Nancy, I'm with you.  Those shows make me squirm.  That's not entertainment. Thanks for commenting!

Jul 01, 2008 01:23 PM