Networking Tips From A Serial Dater

Every experience we have in life leads us to where we are today - for better or for worse.

In my case, til death do us part.

I'm one of the lucky ones.  I survived the dating scene with my soul still (mostly) intact.

Somehow, I managed to score the most beautiful woman in the world.

And I got to bring with me a whole boatload of knowledge from the dating world...to apply to social and business networking events.

Now, I pass it along to you.  Below are the keys to the kingdom - success in networking and business brought to you by a former serial dater.

1. You have three seconds to make an impression.  Make it good.  Believe it or not, my shockingly good looks and wildly charming personality didn't always do the trick alone.  I needed that icebreaker line.  Make sure it's one that helps create a connection.  Replace the, "I'd buy you a drink but I'd be jealous of the straw" line with something like, "I always believe that if you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room - I'm glad I'm here" approach.  Make them think but don't make them uncomfortable.
2. It should be all about them - not about you.  People love to talk about themselves.  LOVE.  TALKING.  ABOUT.  THEMSELVES.  We live in a world where people post selfies of them on the toilet to the very social media that their own parents follow them on.  Ask them about THEM and their business.  Leave them wanting to learn more about you.
3. Don't talk about your ex.  You'd think this would be a no-brainer, but apparently it's not.  Nobody cares about your failed marriage or crazy ex.  So for the love of God, stop crying in the punch bowl.  You're not a pretty crier and your tears are diluting the rum I poured in when nobody was watching.
4. Keep the experience positive. There's no much that's more awkward than "this event sucks, huh?" only to learn that it's their significant other that's running it.  Focus on the positive "this might be Cheese-Whiz but for some reason it's even better than cave-aged cheese!".  Let them bring up the bad.  Nobody wants to be around miserable people.
5. Know your boundaries.   I don't care how many Altoids you've had.  Get.  Out.  Of.  My.  Face.  Pretend there's a little box around everybody in the room that you can't enter.  See that box?  Good. Stay OUT of it.  A little personal space goes a long way.
6. Don't go too personal too soon.  Talking about how that sushi last week ripped through your body like a runaway train...or mentioning the time you and that one-night stand broke the hotel bed isn't just inappropriate - it'll crush your chances of talking to ANYONE at the event.  Awkward conversation skills have a tendency to spread around a room faster than Ebola.  (Ebola joke - too soon?  See what I did there?)
7. Don't stalk them.  I'm not just talking about following them around the room.  I'm talking about Facebook and other forms of social media.  If they get to their car and you've already "poked" them...chances are, you're done.
8. Business is good.  Always.  Nobody wants to hang around with a negative Nancy.  When business is bad, you say business is good.  When business is good, you say business is great.  Nobody visits empty restaurants - so restaurants have Happy Hour to give the impression that the place is always popping.  Throw your own happy hour - even if it's just in your own head.
9. Go for the presumptive close.  "So listen - you and I are both here to have a few cocktails and have some fun...so instead of talking business tonight, let's get together for coffee tomorrow and chat.  What time works for you?"  That's really all you have to do.  It's not rocket science.
10. Don't forget to get their number.  This is very simple.  Hand them your cell phone and ask them to put in their number.  Talk about the trust factor.  They're so busy thinking, "wow - he just handed me his phone" that their defense is down over actually GIVING it to you.  And handing a cell spurs the handoff of a cell number - as opposed to a business number.  In my experience, 9 times out of 10 they put in their personal number.  Boom.  That's what I'm talking about.  Nobody wants to deal with a secretary - and you can't "text" an office.  So with that being said, here's my cell.  413.454.5364.  Call me.  Text me.  Tell me how much you loved or hated this blog.  Just do me a favor.  Don't do it at 2am after your fourth martini.  Unless, of course, you're ready to do some business.  :)  Not ready to call or text me?  No problem - perhaps we're not there yet.  But make sure to follow me.  Because baby, the best is yet to come.