The Secret of Three

If you're like me, you have a lot of demands on your time. Full-time real estate brokerage, father (or mother) who needs to be an involved parent, supportive and affectionate spouse ... there are things to get done on the home front, relatives to visit, school and community events, sports ... you know the drill.

Now, over the years, it has been proven many times that my associations with charities have brought me excellent business. In fact, you can advertise, market, blog, scream, etc. and yet a good relationship with a caring group of people will outperform most of your efforts to gain business. People like to trust like-minded people. (Did I get that right?)

That being said, it is easy to get over-booked into so many worthwhile causes, that the rest of your life suffers. As do your efforts with each of the charities that you agreed to help. Heck, I have a tube-type brain. It takes a while to warm up and sometimes I have to adjust the rabbit ears on top to get a signal. Too much saying "yes" will cause a breakdown in your life, and it could be in an area of much greater priority like your family.

I'll never forget when my then-13 year old daughter had just learned that I had accepted the presidency of the local board of Realtors. I was proud to tell her that I'd soon be serving as the top broker in an association of my peers. She said, "Gee dad, you do so much for so many groups, I never get to see you. It's my last years in school and at home, and I'd like to spend SOME time with you. Soon I'll be gone, and you'll have plenty of time the rest of your life to volunteer." Well. That was like ripping out my heart and holding it up to my face. I resigned the board of Realtors the next day.

And, I still volunteer my time. Always have, always will. It's the right thing to do for me, and the community. But I have a new method. The secret of three.

I only allow myself to work on three groups at a time. For some, it may have to be two or one. Others can handle 4 or 5. Pick the number that best suits you, and stick with it.

Yes, you will continue to be solicited to help groups, because the word is out that YOU are a DOER! And, if you are like me, it has always been much easier to say YES! than ...nnnoooo. But, then you slink away thinking ... damn, I did it again. Too soft.

Here's how the dialog works when someone asks you to help their group or join their club: 

"Hey, thanks! I really believe in that association, but right now I am at my maximum level of involvement in non-profit groups. You see, I limit myself to only 3 volunteer positions at a time. That way, I can really focus on my work with that group, and help make a positive difference in their goals. My next commitment will end in August of 2009. I'd consider helping you then, so please give me a call!"

You didn't say no. In fact, you really said yes in a "time-release" way. 90%+ of the time, that person will recruit the help they need in the next few days, and your invite for a future phone call will be forgotten. If you REALLY want to work for that group in August of 2009, you KNOW they will be glad to have YOU call. Otherwise, you can now pick and choose the groups you'd like to belong to, because you are using the secret of three.

Hope this helps you balance your life and commitments. It has added a lot of joy and lessened the stress in mine, and allowed me to spend time where I need to when I need to.

The tube-type brain, well ... it still works.

-Pete