4 Essential Steps in Divorce Sale of the Home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 Essential Steps in Divorce Sale of the Home

The Future Focus Method

by BRIAN WISEMAN LL.B., CIPS

 

The Problem:

When a relationship is over, and divorce is on the horizon, one of the major considerations for the couple is what is to happen to the matrimonial home.

 

In many cases, sale of the family home is the only financially realistic outcome.

Of course, this is not always the case.

Sometimes, there is a better solution than sale. This usually depends upon the financial resources of the couple.

 

When the decision is made to sell the family residence, or the court orders such a sale, the couple has to cope with a very traumatic time.

 

The sale of a home is stressful at any time.

 

When the sale is due to a break-up in a relationship, each individual encounters the stress from a sale of their home on top of the trauma of the break-up.

 

This is a time when it is natural for one, or both, of the individuals to let their emotions encroach upon rational decision-making.

 

I have, personally, encountered a situation where the listing agent had obviously failed to prepare his seller clients.

 

A few years ago, my wife and I made an offer on a home in Mississauga. The offer was at the low end of a reasonable negotiation range. It was not a “low ball” offer.

  

The offer lapsed with no response from the sellers. The listing agent informed me that the sellers were in the process of divorcing and he was unable to get them together to make a decision. 

 

The world-renowned psychiatrist, Dr. William Glasser, came to the conclusion that we all have 4 basic psychological needs (loving & belonging, power, freedom & fun) and that we need to keep them in balance.

 

When a relationship ends, our loving & belonging need is not being met; neither is our power need - and we are certainly having NO fun! At a time like this we feel a total loss of power and loss of self-esteem.

Our brains keep coming up with ideas of how we can recover these lost needs – particularly the loss of power. One way is by unconsciously angering.

 

The slightest upset, or obstacle, can trigger an emotional response; often not in our best long-term interests!

 

We can also become so consumed by the past that we cannot see any future.

 

The Solution:

As Dr. Glasser, has pointed out, we cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude to the past.

 

Clearly, the focus of the couple has to be directed towards them, individually, achieving the best possible outcome for their future without regard to the reasons for their current position.

 

This requires leadership from legal and financial advisers, and, it is submitted, with an experienced real estate agent being part of the team.

 

The couple have to be convinced that, if the home has to be sold, each of them will be better served by an environment of co-operation than by an attitude of negativity; that the objective will be to sell the home at the best possible price, in the quickest possible time and with the least amount of stress.

 

The Future Focus Method:

The Future Focus Method has been developed in an attempt to establish a procedure that takes into account Dr. William Glasser’s concepts.

 

Step 1: Initial discussion between the real estate agent and the couple with regard to the following:

 

ü the necessity of reaching agreement that, together, as a 3 person team, their sole objective is to sell the home at the best possible price, in the quickest possible time and with the least amount of stress

 

ü making a non-legally binding undertaking to each other that each will use their best endeavours to achieve the objective, focussing on the future and not on the past

 

ü reaching agreement that events leading to the break-up of the relationship will not be a matter for discussion at any time during the sales process

 

ü anticipated events that will occur during the sales process and how they will be handled; examples include:

 

·      preparation of the home to be ready for sale

 

·      steps necessary to keep the home in presentation condition for viewings by potential buyers & individual responsibilities for this

 

·      the paperwork involved in listing the home for sale

 

·      the use of a lock box

 

·      the procedure for viewings by potential buyers:

        is there any need for restriction on days or times for viewings?

        how much notice is required for viewings having in mind the need to keep the home in presentation condition?

        the need for the home to be vacated by all people and any pets during viewings

 

·      advantages and disadvantages of holding open houses

 

·      the possibility of a “low ball” offer and how that should be handled

 

·      the possibility of multiple offers and the issues involved

 

·      the procedure involved in receiving, and making decisions with regard to, any offers received from potential buyers

 

·      timing issues with regard to the necessity of providing vacant possession of the home prior to the closing of a sale

 

ü remuneration of the agent and how, and when, this will be payable; here it should be emphasized that the complexities of the sale of a matrimonial home in these circumstances warrants a higher remuneration than for an ordinary sale

 

ü the way such decisions will be made:

·      It is preferable if the couple can agree to meet with the real estate agent, in person, and at the same time

 

·      If this is not possible, or the individuals are uncomfortable in meeting in person, then the discussion should be via conference call

 

·      The basic rule should be that the couple will have the relevant information delivered to them at the same time; the agent should avoid discussing an issue with one of the individuals before discussing it with the other one; this can lead to some distrust; circumstances where distrust can arise must be avoided

 

ü at the conclusion of this initial meeting, the couple and the agent will make the final decision as to whether they can, and will, work together to achieve the agreed objective

 

While the above steps may seem totally obvious to experienced real estate agents, because of the volatile nature of the sitution, the smallest, unexpected, turn of evants can result in an emotionally negative response from one, or both, of the sellers.

 

Consequently, it is essential that each possible step in the sales process is explained and discussed with the former partners well in advance.

 

Step 2: The REALTOR will then carry out the necessary research.

 

This will involve:

 

1.     Documentation of file notes of the decisions made at the Step 1 meeting

 

2.     Inspection of the home

 

3.     Gathering information about the home

 

4.     Researching recent sales of comparable properties

 

5.     Researching homes currently on the market that could be competition for buyers when the home is listed for sale

 

6.     Preparation of a marketing plan

 

7.     Preparation of the documents necessary to list the home for sale

 

Step 3: Meeting between the couple and the agent to discuss the information outlined in Step 2 with a view to the couple making the following decisions:

 

1.    Confirm the accuracy of the file notes of Meeting 1 or amending them, if necessary

 

2.    Review and confirm, or amend, the decisions made in Meeting 1

 

3.    Set the price at which the home will be listed for sale having regard to the research and other appropriate information provided by the agent

 

4.    Review and confirm, or amend, the marketing plan

 

5.    Set the date on which the home will be listed for sale

 

6.    Reach agreement with the agent about the regular dates and times when they will meet to discuss the agent’s reports on buyer activity

 

7.    Reach agreement on the way the agent will contact them for a meeting immediately the agent receives any offers for the purchase of the home

 

8.    Review and sign the listing documents

 

Step 4: The agent will then implement the marketing plan and the procedures agreed to with particular emphasis on maintaining communication with both of the individuals in line with the decisions already made

 

It is important to note that, at all times during the Future Focus Method, emphasis must be maintained on the future benefits to both individuals and the agent must be strict with regard to the embargo on negative comments or endeavours to bring any past issues into the process.

 

Recommended Reading:

Take Charge of Your Life (How to Get What You Need
with Choice Theory Psychology)

by William Glasser M.D.

iUniverse

ISBN: 978-1-4620-3743-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4620-3744-5 (e)

 

 

Choice Theory (A New Psychology of Personal Freedom)

by William Glasser M.D.

Harper

ISBN: 0-06-019109-0

 

and many other books by William Glasser M.D.

All are currently available through Amazon

 

 

Interested in Selling a Home in Pickering, Ajax, Whitby, Oshawa, Clarington or beyond?

  

If you are thinking of selling, you can search on my website for homes, similar to yours, that would be competition for your home, if you list it for sale.

 

 You can also obtain an indication of the market value of your home.

 

YOU ARE INVITED to visit my website, at any time and as often as you like, to find pictures & details of homes for sale in the Greater Toronto Area

 

 For photos and details of homes, townhouses and condos currently for sale in Oshawa, Whitby, Clarington, Ajax, Pickering & beyond.

 

You can also arrange to be notified when homes, that meet your criteria, come onto the market.

 

These services are available to you without obligation.

 

For answers to your questions, email me; or call 905-723-5944.

 

About the Author:

Brian Wiseman LL.B., CIPS, is a Sales Representative with Keller Williams Energy Real Estate Brokerage in Oshawa & Whitby, Ontario, Canada.

 

In his past lives, Brian was a Partner in Legal Practices, specializing in Real Estate and Business Law (not in Family Law!) in Australia and a Principal of a successful Financial Planning Practice in Australia.

 

After the sale of his business interests in Australia, Brian started a new adventure by relocating to Canada with his Canadian wife.

 

He has completed a basic intensive training course in Dr Glasser’s Choice Theory Psychology.

 

The Future Focus Method was developed by Brian, having regard to Dr. William Glasser’s concepts.

 

He is not authorized to give legal advice or financial planning services in Canada.

 

He is not authorized to provide marriage counselling.

  

He is authorized to provide real estate advice in Ontario.