You are smarter than you believe
Stronger than you seem
Braver than you think.
These words, engraved on a necklace, carried me through some very rough waters some time ago. While it is not always smooth sailing, the violent storm has passed and I am in a much happier and healthier place. So much so that I wanted to pass on my necklace to someone who needed it more than I do now.
I chose Mary. Mary and I have never met in person but we know each others stories. We belong to a secret support group for survivors of domestic violence. It's secret because many of its members are being abused, threatened, stalked ... on a daily basis and others are in hiding. The group is a safe place to vent, cry, laugh and to find support.
But back to Mary. Mary is the grandmother of 2 little boys. She was awarded sole custody of them because their parents aren't fit to be parents. They are, in fact, a danger to them, to such a degree that Mary and the boys were not safe in their own home. Protective orders are often not worth the paper they are written on.
A few months ago, Mary made the decision to leave her home of twenty-something years behind to get the babies to a safe place. They received help through a local domestic violence advocate and were able to stay in a shelter, until their time was up. How long victims can stay in a shelter differs from State to State and it's only a few weeks where Mary resides.
So Mary and the boys were living in her car for a few days until a friend offered to take them in for the winter.
Since I have been following Mary and her journey, I have not once heard her swear or express anger. Although she has every reason and right to feel bitter and angry, she is not allowing herself to. There is sadness for sure and the feeling that what she's doing is not enough. There is hopelessness and shattered trust in the system.
But Mary somehow manages to look on the bright side. You may not believe that there possibly could be one considering her circumstances and living situation. But there is. Not too long ago Mary posted a message to the group that read something like this:
I don't know what tomorrow brings. But today we have a roof over our head. We have each other and we are safe. We won't have presents under the tree but we'll have a little tree. For that I am grateful, please continue to pray for me and my babies.
When I read her message, I immediately contacted our group admin. Mary and the boys should have presents under their little tree. They deserve it! We came up with a Secret Santa plan and I just mailed a box with hats and mittens, toys and treats for the boys. And my necklace for Mary.
Mary's journey is unlike any I've ever heard. It's humbling. Inspiring. Courageous. Mary is a hero. Mary could use my necklace because she is smarter than she believes, stronger than she seems and braver than she thinks .
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