In Memoriam:  Laraine Shape

"Home Not Selling Try SELLABREX . . ."

This post is about the passing of the Cincinnati Real Estate Lady, Laraine Shape whom I met right here on ActiveRain.  Fellow AR colleague, Bill Spears, let me know.

For the old timers, you may recall Laraine's alter-ego 'Ralph" -- Ralph The Real Estate Dog

I met her, by way of Ralph, and found Laraine's humor and writing style to be unique and refreshing.  In getting to know her, she was the type of person not afraid or intimidated to speak out.  She did not like the psychiatric profession.  Not one bit.  Her blog Psych-Times.com is a parody site and it's brilliant.  She wasn't afraid to voice her disdain AND sell real estate AND bake.

How many of us are hesitant to voice an opinion?  Not only voice an opinion but put it out there!! Laraine sure wasn't intimidated and I respected her deeply for her convictions.

Laraine loved the City of Cincinnati.  She moved back there several years ago after living in Florida and working as an agent down there.  Cincinnati was her home and she wanted to move back and she did.

Check out the archives on her site . . . and click on some of the delicious recipes found there.  Cincinnati Unwrapped

I spent over three hours last night rummaging around Laraine's posts and blogs.  She had a few of them out there and she poured her heart into every one of them.  I drooled over her recipes -- she would have wanted it that way.

Laraine's love of Cincinnati shows with all the posts she's written about her beloved city and all the wonderful people, places and things she embraced.  She reinvented herself over and over again . . . 

Fellow Active Rain members found Laraine the same way I did . . . right here.  I wish Active Rain would put up her blog so we can read some of her gems.  The rules are, if you don't post in awhile, your site goes down.  But, wouldn't it be great to read some classics!  

Sharon Tara, Home Stager in New Hampshire, pays homage to Ralph, and Laraine in a post she wrote entitled Ralph the Real Esate Dog is Quite the News Hound.  Sadly, if you click on the links to the AR post, they aren't working.

I liked Laraine Shape.  She was one-of-kind . . . MY KIND!!

God speed my dear. 

Here is a CLASSIC by Laraine.  

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Home Not Selling? Ask Your Doctor If SELLabrex Is Right For You

by LARAINE SHAPE

Let’s face it.  Real estate sucks.

Home prices are in the toilet and nothing is selling. If you bought your home between 1950 and 2011, it’s probably worth less than what you paid for it. And to top if off:

• People can’t get a loan

• Six of your neighbors got foreclosed on

• Your Realtor is a douche bag who can’t find his own ass with both hands

• No one comes to your open houses…even when you make brownies

• Your dog just pissed on your freshly cleaned carpet for the 20th time this week

• The people who were supposed to see the house at 2:00 never showed up and didn’t bother to call

Ask your doctor if SELLABREX is right for you.  There are many options available when it comes to managing the pain of selling a home. Widely accepted guidelines from both the National Association of Realtors and the American Psychiatric Association suggest taking an “integrated approach,” by combining several medications until you feel “just right.”

For example, if SELLABREX doesn’t make it all better you can try adding REALTA, an antidepressant frequently used by Realtors who specialize in short sales.

Prescription SELLABREX has been a home selling option for millions of Americans in top foreclosure states for over 5 straight years. Just one 200 mg SELLABREX a day can provide 24-hour relief for the bullshit associated with selling a home.

Call your psychiatrist today and find out if SELLABREX is right for you.

WARNING:  Call your doctor immediately and stop taking SELLABREX if you notice any new or worsening symptoms such as wanting to stab your Realtor in the eye with a fork, kicking the dog repeatedly, telling home buyers to kiss your ass if they think you’re going to give your house away or if you have thoughts about wishing your neighbor who sold her home quickly would commit suicide.

DISCLAIMER: This blog is fictional parody written by a real estate nut who makes things up and writes them down. Don't believe a word she says.

LOVE YOU LARAINE -- MAY YOU R.I.P.