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"State of the arf sound" - Great MLS Bloopers!

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887
 
Alert the media, as out of the mist appears the masked Blooper Blogger! Hey friends, I'm back with a list that was too good not to write up. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles,  Portland's own Carla Muss-Jacobs, and Juli Vosmik of Scottsdale for their hilarious contributions: 
 
Mass Confusion
 
"Has curve appeal" (Is this a house or a Kardashian?)
 
"A Liz Pendants has been filed" (Who knew you could file a lien on someone's jewelry?)
 
"Home has been remolded" (So has your cerebral cortex.)
 
"New combo with all the right stuff" (Welcome to Burger King.)
 
"Pool and gassy area"  (That explains all the bubbles in the deep end…)
 
"Filled with characters" (You must be referring to the committee in your head.)
 
Massive Contusion
 
"House on Double clot" (I suggest you try Xarelto.)
 
"The house you can boat about" (I've always wanted my own moat.)
 
"The best in execution" (Hence the wires protruding from the strange wood chair...)
 
"This is a place of refugee" (Apparently Ellis Island has gone condo.)
 
"Conjoined storage" (That's what I call the spare tire around my waist.)
 
"State of the arf sound" (Methinks this house has gone to the dogs.)
 
Master Collusion
 
"Neighbors will just disappear"  (Back away from the knives, Lizzie Borden..)
 
"Large screeming room" (Now we know where Lizzie's neighbors went.)
 
"Short Pat sail." (Bon voyage,  ma petite.)
 
"Knotted architect" (Does he moonlight at Cirque du Soleil?)
 
"Large footprint in Hollywood Hills" (Everyone comes here hoping to be discovered, right, Sasquatch?)
 
"Come see this nice peed a terre" (No thanks - I try to avoid yellow snow.)
 
"Nice front and good behind" (Aw shucks, thank you very much. )
 
My Last Inclusions
 
"Nice fat area for expansion" (You mean the space between your ears?)
 
"You can feel privates here" (Welcome to Cell Block B, Lester Molester.)
 
 
That's it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell.
 
 

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And be sure to view my beautiful California listings at:

http://www.gwenbanta.com  Thank you! 

 

Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Gwen, I knew I shouldn't put that "nice front and good behind" in my listing. Ms Robinson was all too ready to feel the private parts. So nice to see your lovely face out here again. Thanks for the chuckles. 

May 10, 2015 10:24 AM
Mari Armstrong
ArmsLink Realty - Murrells Inlet, SC
Offering You Honesty, Sincerity and Integrity

These are AWESOME! Put them with the horrible photos I see on MLS all the time and you've got a real bargain! LOL

May 10, 2015 10:26 AM
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Gwen, very funny and worth the wait!!!  Hope you have had a fabulous and blessed Mother's Day!  Having children is worth the conjoined storage, right???

May 10, 2015 10:49 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Hi Mike - I love that photo with the baby!

May 10, 2015 11:21 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Sussie and Mari, thank you so much for reading. I hope your day was fabulous!

May 10, 2015 11:22 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Bruce, I agree - the children are worth the "conjoined storage," but someone threw in some gray hair and varicose veins as an added bonus!

May 10, 2015 11:24 AM
Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

The sad part is someone may read these and fail to see the humor.  Thanks for sharing

May 10, 2015 12:16 PM
marti garaughty
garaughty.com - Montreal, QC
a highly caffeinated creative type...

garaughty, abstract art, graphic design, WordPress consultant

May 10, 2015 01:06 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hi Gwen -- nice to see the return of your Blooper Madness.  As we know(and can see) they always seem to be "out there" but are grateful for yours and others' watchful eyes.  Have a great week ahead.  

 

May 10, 2015 06:05 PM
Conrad Allen
Re/Max Professional Associates - Webster, MA
Webster, Ma, Realtor

Hi Gwen.  I missed you.  Glad you and the bloopers are back.

May 10, 2015 08:50 PM
Jim Patton
Aspire Home Real Estate 209-404-0816 - Modesto, CA
Realtor - Stanislaus ,Merced, San Joaquin Counties

Another great list Gwen Banta .  I don't think we will ever run out of these bonehead listings as long as we have bonehead agents.

May 11, 2015 06:00 AM
Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-739-3843

Storage and a sharp (utensil)...er, I mean cookie--well you've got it all going on. 

May 11, 2015 01:46 PM
M.C. Dwyer
Melody Russell Team at eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Felton, CA
MC Dwyer-Santa Cruz Mountains Property Specialist

oh, Gwen, thank you.    once again you've shared a great collection of bloopers - but the best for me is always your commentary.

May 13, 2015 05:08 AM
Karen Winters, Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices KoenigRubloff
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Koenig Rubloff Realty Group - Chicago, IL - Chicago, IL
Chicago, IL

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when these agents proudly give a hardcopy of, or link to, the MLS to the seller.  

May 17, 2015 02:50 PM
Richard Bazinet /MBA, CRS, ABR
West USA Realty - Scottsdale, AZ
Phoenix Scottsdale. Sellers, Buyers & Relocations

Good morning Gwen Gwen Banta , just checking in with you since we didn't hear from you in a while with new bloopers...

Jun 22, 2015 10:56 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Richard, how kind of you to think of me. I have just been busy with expanding my business to include Asia. Your support has inspired me to write another blooper blog, so I will try to get to that soon. Thank you so much for checking in. It means so much to me!

Jun 23, 2015 02:02 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Oh my. I don't know how I missed all your latest posts. They don't pop up the same way they used to. I shall be sure to make sure I don't miss any more.  They are too good.

Jul 16, 2015 03:39 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you, Jane. I don't know what the issue is - I've had several people tell me that.

Jul 16, 2015 03:42 AM
Larry Johnston
Broker, Friends & Neighbors Real Estate and Elkhart County Subdivisions, LLC - Elkhart, IN
Broker,Friends & Neighbors Real Estate, Elkhart,IN

Hi Gwen Banta , Thanks for the humor.  It's a good Real Estate "Pick me up". (Not that I have to have a Chauffer for my next showing!)

Jul 20, 2015 01:11 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you for checking in, Larry!

Jul 20, 2015 01:49 PM