How to Say “No” to Others
1. Firstly, listen to that nagging voice inside your head. Your intuition often knows when something is wrong – or when you’re saying “yes” to something that you’re going to regret - even though we can’t articulate the reason yet.
2. Be clear about what you want out of life – otherwise you’ll spend your time being used by other people.
3. Count the cost. Be clear about the implications of saying “yes” – on your time, energy, exam success, friendships, reputation, and so on.
4. Understand that it’s OK to say “no”. You have a right to take control of your own life, and to schedule your time and priorities (and the same is true for other people, as well.)
5. Say “no” using the medium you’re most comfortable with is. For some people, that’s face to face; for others, it’s a text or email; and for others, a phone call.
6. Keep it simple and to the point. Often, a reason or excuse is not necessary. You need to be respectful and polite – but don’t over-excuse yourself. (If necessary, write down what you are going to say in advance, and practise saying it.)
7. Sometimes being “uncontactable” is a deterrent in itself – as people can’t reach you, to try and pin you down! That may mean switching off your phone, and any forms of social media.
8. Delay your response as by that time the person is half expecting you to decline, anyway.
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