There are two phrases that tend to confuse real estate people.
They are: "It wasn't meant to be' and "It is what it is."
Many responses on Active Rain reflect nearly all believe such responses are reflections of a lack of commitment on part of the speaker. Embracing that interpretation means we have failed in understanding the real courage behind those words spoken assuming you are working with a client who values you as a professional and they have committed to doing business with you.
This is important stuff...$600 an hour stuff if you were in a private office.
These folks may well understand what we do not.
They may understand an inherent arrogance that denies reality. They may understand that to be whole is to put our arms lovingly around everything we've shown ourselves to be:
- self -serving and generous,
- spiteful and compassionate,
- cowardly and courageous,
- treacherous and trustworthy.
We must be able to say to ourselves and to the world at large "I am all of the above."
If we can't embrace the whole of who we are - embrace it with transformative love - otherwise, we'll imprison the creative energies hidden in our own shadows and flee the world's complex mix of shadow and light.
Walking in Vulnerability
These 'wasn't ment' and "it is" folks are walking towards their fear. They are walking towards you 
wearing their venerability,,,and you may be invalidating them by your assumption.
Behind their action, behind their words is the struggle....that struggle is to avoid shame. To avoid the isolation that surrounds those events of shame. The origin of this emotion is not having people around them to process shame emotions correctly. There was no dinner table talk, no regular meals together, no exhibition of the skill of turning towards....so they embrace what they have experienced and struggle to avoid events that could lead to shame.
I am Enough!
What these folks are saying, in a condensed sense, is they are moving from living disappointed to feeling disappointed. What our ears and eyes need to accept is these courageous folks may have stepped into the light following a trail of the long lonely to revelation from 'what people think' to 'I am enough."
At the exact same time
Can you know that these people who walk in venerability are afraid and brave at the exact same moment..all day long. They have no gaurantee how others will repond to their vulnerability.
Take this thought home with you.
What they are looking for is HOPE,
Hope is a function of struggle through which we learn when we experience adversity, have trustworthy relationships. Then people have faith in our ability to get them out of a jam.
My wish is you no longer invalidate these people but understand they have a different take on what you have convinced yourself to be true.
"It wasn't meant to be."
"It is what it is."
Statements that contradicts the vanity of mankind, the American Spirit, a culture that says "All things are possible," "Fight the good fight" when clearly this is not true. This IS NOT surrender, but embracing that which is of themselves and bring forth from that awareness of the fullness of whole hearted living.
"It wasn't meant to be." "It is what it is."
I hear you. Come walk with me a while. I WILL see you and not look through you.
Maybe, just maybe, they know something we don't know.
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