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If this is Tuesday, this must be Finland!

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty, Ann Arbor, MI

While busily answering my email via gmail today, the little chat box appeared with this message:  "Moooommmy, I'm scaaaaarrrreed."  It was my daughter Sara.  When she calls me "Mommy", it is a clearly understood signal between us that she needs comfort and reassurance, but the additional "I'm scared" could hardly have been misinterpreted.

Here's what stinks about being a realtor - her timing was very much in the way of my scheduled agenda.  Wow.  That is bad.  I made an executive decision to figure out what was going on, though I pretty much knew.  I risked being late for showings in the far reaches of Washtenaw County, MI and beyond, already a white-knuckle drive since that is the way I plan.  :-/  crazy driverIt is on my list of things-to-do...PLAN BETTER.

Knowing time was of the essence I got right down to business.  As suspected, it was last minute fears about the enormous events she has planned for the next two weeks of her spring break; she is on study abroad in Paris, France.  The original itinerary included a male companion accompanying her through the Baltic States but he had passport issues and had to back out.  (Everyone has passport issues with Russia so she dropped that herself, but not before spending money to get an official invitation from the government to come on over - it was an insincere invitation, in the end.)you know he would be a couchsurfer

She had great fun choosing a fake wedding ring as a recommended travel disguise...always about to meet one's husband at the next stop.  When the reality of traveling alone hit her today, she was in panic mode.  To top it off, she is "couchsurfing", staying with strangers in all locations in the student-worthy effort to save money.  Several of the hosts are men.  Call me old-fashioned but that had me worried a few days ago.  Maybe today she is worried too.  I advised the best I could via google chat:

*let everyone, including the US Embassy, know of your travel plans

*wear that little travel pouch under your clothes and keep money and passport in it

*make sure you take out more than enough money at each ATM stop - you don't know what things will cost and when you will find an ATM again

*spread your money around on you and in your luggage

*try not to look or act too much like a tourist - blend in

*remember that most people are just like you so try to be brave, Dorothy!  (The Wizard of Oz is one of her favorite movies and particularly suitable for travel to unknown lands.)

*watch your back - among those many friendly people are others who take advantage

*use common sense

After those few minutes consoling my daughter in one of her greatest hours of need, I told her I had to go.  I said I would talk to her later but when I got back at 7:00 PM and logged on, she was offline.  It is either 6 or 7 hours time difference (drat that spring-forward leap) so it was either 1 or 2 AM there.  She would definitely have been in bed.

I never said a proper goodbye.  I never said I loved her.  I never told her how proud I am of her for stepping out of her comfort zone and planning a 14 day trip that takes her to:  Poland, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Finland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, and back to Sweden.  She will be flying at the beginning and end, buses or trains comprising the middle of the transportation modes.  Alone.dorothy and the tin man  This is the girl who would call, less than 6 months ago, from the University of Michigan, 7 minutes up the road from our house, when she needed a grocery run.

Who says study abroad doesn't change lives?  It is changing hers.  I just hope we get to see her in one piece again.  I wish the Tin Man were along for the trip.  She could use someone to lean on.  You know, he had that heart all along; he just didn't know it at first.  By the end he knew himself - I trust she will know herself too.

Visit Sara's blog at http://www.saraanneinparis.blogspot.com/.  Active Rain is welcome.  (She is looking for a summer publishing internship in NYC, and a full-time job upon early graduation in December 2008.)  I know; it's blatant.  Forgive me.  I'm distressed.

Comments(11)

Vickie Nagy
Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate - Palm Springs, CA
Vickie Jean the Palm Springs Condo Queen
I can relate. My 21- year old is in college in South Florida, about 3,000 miles from home. Those voice mail messages with pleas for "mommy advice" do suddenly rearrange your priorities. Thanks for sharing.
Apr 17, 2008 05:14 PM
Nancy Brenner
Referral Associates of Georgia, Inc. - Roswell, GA
Roswell Georgia Real Estate Agent
I just dropped your darling daughter a note on her blog!  I hope her fears have been squashed and that she's having the time of her life!
Apr 17, 2008 05:24 PM
Susan Walters
Keller Williams Realty, Ann Arbor, MI - Ann Arbor, MI
Vickie, I don't think the Atlantic Ocean figures much into the equation, distance is distance, and if we are lucky, we will be mothers for all of our lives.  I know exactly how you feel.
Apr 17, 2008 05:47 PM
Susan Walters
Keller Williams Realty, Ann Arbor, MI - Ann Arbor, MI
Nancy, Thanks for dropping Sara a line - it is the same with her blog as here on AR - loads of people read and very, very few comment.  I am as guilty as the rest.  Thank you for your kind words about my nephew.  It is only occasionally that the sadness washes over me now, more about his parents than about him.  That's where I can relate, of course.
Apr 17, 2008 05:51 PM
Doreen McPherson
Homesmart ~ Scottsdale ~ Tempe - Tempe, AZ
Phoenix Arizona Real Estate ~
My cousin uses couchsurfing and loves it.  He's been all over the world.  He's had people from all over the world  stay at his place.  
Apr 17, 2008 06:17 PM
Susan Walters
Keller Williams Realty, Ann Arbor, MI - Ann Arbor, MI
Thanks Doreen, my daughter couchsurfed in Switzerland with a friend over Easter break and it was a huge success.  Now she is alone though.  I feel better with what you say.  She is sensible.  She'll be OK.
Apr 17, 2008 06:24 PM
Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate
Susan please let us know when you hear from her again. I would be a nervous wreck,does she have an international phone ?
Apr 17, 2008 11:02 PM
Vanessa Stalets
RE/MAX Elite - Brentwood, TN
REALTOR, Brentwood TN Homes, Real Estate
Susan- What a brave thing to do all alone, how proud you must be, and scared. Keep us updated, I want to hear the stories of her adventures! Hugs to you Mom, she will be fine.
Apr 18, 2008 12:36 AM
Susan Walters
Keller Williams Realty, Ann Arbor, MI - Ann Arbor, MI

Missy, She has an international phone but we contact each other most by instant message and regular old email, plus her blog.  Her program director has lived in Europe for years at a time (a professor at Michigan) and he gave her and her trip his blessings.  I will try not to worry.

Vanessa, She will definitely have stories to tell!  I cannot wait.  She said she will post from the road.  If she is not bringing her laptop, the couchsurfers hosts have let her use their computers in the past.

Apr 18, 2008 01:49 AM
Steve Shatsky
Dallas, TX
Susan... it sounds like your daughter's Mom has instilled in her a sense of good judgement, practical caution and a respect for the growth that comes from adventures beyond her neighborhood.  I feel certain that based on that foundation for decision making she will have a wonderful and safe experience... maybe even a few good "you'll never believe what happened to me in Lithuania" stories!  Hang in there! :)  
Apr 18, 2008 03:31 AM
Susan Walters
Keller Williams Realty, Ann Arbor, MI - Ann Arbor, MI
Steve, For years I had a yellowing piece of newspaper on our family bulletin board that said parents needed to give their children only two things - roots and wings - how true!  Funny you should mention the 'what happened to me in Lithuania' since she actually found herself being able to say, "The last time I saw you, you were boarding a train for Lichtenstein!" at one point to the traveling companion who had to bow out from this trip.  She appreciated that at the moment and will definitely have many more comments along the same line after this fortnight.
Apr 18, 2008 01:08 PM