Wow...That is tough. You need to do what is best for your family. What ever that is...is what you should do.

Good luck. 

I t can be tough but with a good plan and consistent effort business is there in our area  and I would guess it is available for you too. Good Luck.

Ken ... I hear you! I am in a similar position. I am in real estate and my husband is in mortgages. We are also living dollar to dollar. In fact, we are doing it in seperate states. I am in Bonita Springs Florida (where we live) and my husband is back up north in Pennsylvania (where we are from) because he has 20 years worth of past customers there. But my business here is starting....just not fast enough, as you said. Something has to give! It is a very difficult time right now, but pray about it and trust God. Good luck.

Hard decision!

Can you work another Job and real estate till the market improved there?

Ken.... These are certainly tough times in the Real Estate business and in many other industries people are feeling the pinch.  I know 2007 was my worst year but things seem much brighter around here this year.  Hope your market picks up!

It's really tough sometimes, Ken.  I had four deals fall out in December, one in January and one in March.  It takes it's toll.  It does seem to me that your expenses are fairly manageable (but of course  not without money).   I've had my lean periods too when that stress overwhelms you and the family.  A lot of agents DO leave the business to do something else.

Look for ALTERNATIVE marketing ways.  Partner with a lender to hold seminars. Go spend the day in a new home subdivision and talk to people as they tour the homes to offer your assistance as many do not know that they builder is not looking out for their best interest (that one is tough because you don't want to be a "salesman" but at the same time, these people NEED assistance because they do not have anyone looking out for them).

 I don't know if you are like me, but I am pretty non-confrontational.  I don't like to get in people's faces to get things done, I would rather let my service speak for itself.  BUT, when you don't have anyone to work with, SERVICE can be the best in the world and there is no one there to care! 

If what you are doing isn't working, you must make a change and it's been said that the reason people don't change is PAIN.  It IS painful to change.  But you WILL change when the PAIN of staying where you are is stronger than the PAIN of changing.   Does that mean something besides real estate? Maybe.  Maybe it just means a new direction for your business. 

Money wrecks a lot of otherwise happy homes...don't let it wreck yours.  Whatever you decide, GOOD LUCK! I'm here if you need someone to chat with, bounce ideas off or whatever!

Hi Monika, Terry and Sharon.

Thanks for your support.

I am not generally a religous fellow.  I am talking to someone though.  I thought it was myself.  Maybe Someone is listening.

Thanks again for your thoughts.

Ken

I am a Realtor just 3 years into the business.  They say it take 5 years.  I bartend at night while my husband takes care of the kids.  This way I can do my Real Estate thing during the day and make some money at night.  It is hard to balance it all but your family does come first.  I think you know that!

You wrote: "When she looks at me she is always stressed.  I can understand why. But it still makes me feel like a LOSER"

Do you recall the short story called The Gift of the Magi. She had long flowing hair that she sold for a fob to match his pocket watch. He sold his pocket watch to buy her a hair comb.

If you read your own words, I believe you'll find your answer.

I know about tough situations. Now I'm single and I can't speak about family because I don't have one. As far as a wife and kid.  Though I do know about trying to make it through tough situations.  I look at it as a season. And you know seasons do change.  So you know your season will change.  Having a part time job isn't bad just to keep your head above water.  I flip burgers at 40hrs a week at night while do Real Estate during the day. I'm young enough to handle but does take it's toll on me. If I stop working,my bills keep coming.  You seem to be very good husand and father that doing all you can. Trust in the Lord and let him take care of burderns.  I wish the very best to you!

Hi Ken,

Tough situation for sure. Only you can change your life. To find direction isn't easy and not to have enough capitol to make it through the month isn't easy. I have been there, as I am sure many others have. As a  solution you may have to look into a temporary career change. Get your finances in order then try Real Estate again.

As a man, the weight of providing financial stability for your family can be stressful and cause mental fatigue...in our business that is the last thing that you need because we have to be sharp and exude confidence in order to attract business.  I know it may be hard but you have to keep yourself energized and focused. 

Keep in mind that this business provides you the opportunity to get yourself out of debt and back on the right track with one or two transactions.  From there, some of the stress will be relieved and you can better focus on building your business and keeping home happy!

I also have pickup odd jobs for a little extra cah.  I don't have the outlay you do.  I tried working another job when I first started and one or the other always got in the way.  Good luck!

Hi Chip, Dan, Ron, Andrew, deVismes, Jimmy, Hal, Shawn, and William.

Thanks so much for reading and your heartfelt response.

I think I will apply to Trader Joes today.  It's a walk from my house.  The employees seem weirdly happy (what must they put in their water?).

It would feel good to have somewhere to go to be productive.

Thanks again,

Ken

I am there right along with you! I was a stay at home mom, now doing real estate, first 4 years great, this year is starting off not so great ! Dollar to Dollar

Good luck Kenny. Nikki is a great woman. 

Try Trader Joes Double Dark coffee. I know you are a Dunkin fan as am I, but the Double Dark is real nice with some half and half.

Ken, Many are struggling right now. Not just in our profession but every where. If real estate is what you truly truly love then you have to find a way to keep doing it. When I first got into this business, 14 years ago, I waited tables at night to make ends meet. We have to do what we have to do. BUT....the good thing about our business is we can catch up real quick.

Stress will kill you. It can also destroy families. You can't let it do that to you. The longer you are in this business the less stressful it gets. However, there will always be good times and bad times, it's just the nature of the business. You get used to it.

Find peace first. Then get up every day and go to work. Everything else will take care of itself.

If it helps.....God is found in the wilderness. He may be bringing you through this for a reason. It may sound corny but it's still true. It took me 45 years to accept this as truth. My life has never been the same. Not easier. Just peaceful. 

I am so sorry Ken.  It's very hard right now, and realtors are dropping like flies.  I'm sure things will turn around.  I know it's very stressful.  Continue to be grateful for what you have and you can get through it.

I realized I must be saying, "I can't afford it right now" too much to my daughter, as she thought we might be "poor".  I had to explain that even though we couldn't splurge all the time, we had a home, food, clothing, plenty of toys and entertainment.  We're far from "poor".  I guess I have to watch my words more closely.  We're actually lucky to be hanging on as well as we are.

Hi Shannon, Carl, Chris, and Bryant.  Thanks for the heartfelt support across the board.

Thanks for the calls (yes calls) I have gotten from agents offering their support.

Pretty cool.

Ken

Ken- I completely understand where you are coming from! I wish I had the answer. There a days when I am on the edge of panic, and some days I slip off the edge into the black hole. Hang in there. The answer will come.

Ken, Just go get a part time job that will HELP...with something coming in she'll feel better hopefully and just work like crazy on your client base and get by...You CAN do this.  Listen if you have to work more than you want to right now for a bit, just do it, but IF you believe you are a REALTOR, hang in there.  We need the good ones. 

Hang in there Ken! God will get you there

Ken,

Your honesty is refreshing. WE are all working harder than ever and many are not getting ahead. I just got off the phone with one of my dear friends who is a Realtor and had to give her a pep talk to stick in there and it will be ok. Four of my Realtors have got part time jobs to make it through. It's tough, but tough makes us all stronger. We have all had it very good for a while now. We have now hit a hiccup and its not fun. But what doesn't kill us will make it stronger.  It's ok if you wife goes to work. She can still be a great mom with a part time job. The stress of bills will only make it harder on her, you and your kids.

We tend to hold on too long and too hard to things that are just not working. You can still be a great Realtor, but you need to look outside the box and find additional revenue streams to get you through. When I was young I had a period of two years that I worked three jobs. It was hard. I had no life outside of my work but at the end of of it I bought a house and had the freedom to change careers and do what I wanted for the rest of my life because of it. 

Just do it. Change is always good, always. Figure out a way that you can flip a burger once in a while, your wife can do something part time. You can still sell Real Estate and be a great dad. Your kids will look up and be proud that their parents got through the hard times being creative, embracing change and finding an inner strength they never knew.

Don't fight, act! you will all be just fine.

 Kym, Staged to Sell

Hi Cherimie, Terrylynn, Steve, and Kim.  Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Wow.  This has been an emotional day.  Nickie and I are OK.

It's really cool to have so many people care.

And I will hang in there.

Thanks,

Ken

The problem in our business even when things are great they are not predictible for income.  So it all boils down to personal accountability!  The times we are in even for seasoned agents are uncertain at best.  One has to have a feel are things going to get better or worse.  I feel in the shorter term they will be worse.  The Spring market will give a seasonal bounce to sagging sales but it will give way to the summer douldrums.  The problem is the second wave of sub-prime resets are hitting here in Atlanta.  That will mean more softening in the months ahead.  I do not see any meaningful recovery of the market until late 2009.  Face it, we are almost near May.  Do you really see  a major uptick in your business? You will have to ask yourself some real questions!   How many solid leads buyer and seller leads are in your pipeline?  What timeframe to close? 

I am also a father, a husband and a provider.   Thing are hopeful when I have ratified contracts that are pending sales.  I never count on them until they close!

I loved it 10 or 12 years ago when I left for work and my wife was still in bed.  She would give me a kiss and say thanks for going to work and doing what you do.  I didn't make any money then.  It sucked.

Now, I get up and give her a kiss good bye and its 'have a nice day'.  Then, when I come home late because someone called me with a problem as I was getting ready to walk out the door, I walk in the door to the cold hi asshole look.  I give her a lot of credit after dealing with the kids and stuff.  But I wasn't out picking daisys.

You've got to do what you need to do.  I wasn't behind you when Nicole gave up her job, but now that you are headed down this path, I support you 100%.  You're good at what you do and it will work out.  There will be some pain along the way, but she is strong and will understand.

You are happy with what you are doing.  That is more than I could say for most.  Please don't loose focus of your primary job, but making a few bucks on the side isn't a bad thing.  But I know you and you are usually 100% into something, so don't burn yourself out at Trader Joes or whereever.  Real Estate will work out, you care and are good at it.

It's a shit market.  To achieve what you have the last year is incredible.  In 2010, we will be at the 19th hole of Bandon Dunes having a pint and talking about how silly 2008 was.

I just re-read my post.  I sound bitter.  I'm not.

Remember that even as I complain about my wife not embrassing me when I come home from work late, I still realize that we are all in the top 1% of the world.  Such problems that I can't afford my $4,000/mo life style.

I could be living in a trailer in Alabama.  Or in a tent in Kenya.

Life in good in the US of A.  We drink our $3 cups of coffee and drive our 16 mpg cars to work and complain about $3.50/gal gas.  I wouldn't trade my life with anyone either.

Relative to our friends and peer, things are tough.  Relative to people in Darfur or South Korea, I may not be able to play golf this weekend, but if I save up, next weekend looks good.

First off Ken, your wife does not think you're a loser.  So stop telling yourself that.  The simple facts are: You don't control the market any more than any one of us does.  You are not at fault.  If you decide, as a family, to do something else, it does not have to be forever and you have not failed.  Ther is a time for everything.  She looks to you to stop the "bleeding" for your family finances...I'm sure you know how to accomplish that.  It's not about pride but it is about being smart and doing what ever it takes to take care of your family...putting your feelings about pride to the side.  You have not failed if you take a side trip...You can always get back on the road again, once you have plugged the financial leaks.  Many many of us have made those decisions.  Do you think less of any of us?  Of course not!  You know that as adults we have to make adult decisions...plain and simple.  Does it pain us to make them? You bet!  Can we get  through them!  You bet!  Do what you know is the right thing and you'll be a hero in your wife's eyes!  You are an intelligent man and she is an intelligent woman...you can figure this out.  Can she take appointments from home too?  Or is that profession one of office work only?  Many stay at home moms find a way to contribute financially too...

Hi Ken,

I can't add too much more than everyone else has said, but do hang in there.  I have to believe that if we are doing what we love, things will turn around for us.  I've only been in business for a little over three years, but I am still here!!!  Also, have you loooked into doing Broker Price Opinions?

Ken you said you are not a religious fellow. I am not trying to preach to you but you should to pray to God about it. There is no problem too big for God. A lot of real estate professionals including me are going through some very tough times right now. But just have faith that things are going to get better. I'll keep you in prayers. Great post.

Ken,

I'm an agent down the street from you. Now, this is in NO way bragging but I've been an agent 16 months and in March I was listed #97 out of the top RE/MAX agents in NI.  That's incredible because I'm doing better than so major hitters in the area. I work real estate non-stop. I have a boatload of ideas. So, let me know if you want my help.

Hi LaNita, Lanre, Cheryl, Kim, Boring Rich (twice) and Jim.  Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

This post obviously made lots of us reflect.  That is good.

Thanks for all of your support.

Ken

Ken...

You can do it!  It's a tough market.. I've talked to "old timers" who haven't seen it this bad in 29 years.  Keep working the plan and the plan will work.

Thanks Debbie:).  You are right.  I can.

I have an open house today.  I think those are always good things. 

Thanks for reading,

Ken

Hey!  I am sad to hear your story, you are vocalizing what a lot of agents are keeping to themselves.  It might be worth it to look for several top producers outside of your market area and tag along with them for a day or two each, find some things that work to improve your business.

Hello Ken- I'm back. About the subscription...you blog alot and it might bog down my site!! JK 

But here is my advise (take it or leave it) You have to explore every option available to you. Think outside the box. Align and adjust. Do what you have to do to make it through and then when things get better, you align and adjust again. Sometimes we don't want to do what we have to do...but the bottom line is you have to do what you have to do to make life work. I call it "Survival Mode"

Hey Ken!  Sounds familiar.  My wife recently went back to work full time for the benefits and now I am in charge of my son(4 yrs old).   I work around both thier schedules (my son is in pre school) and many a time my wife gets home from work at 5 pm and I leave for appointments.  I clean the house, do the laundry and food shop now.  I wish it were the other way around but in the meantime we are doing what we have to.  My goal is to still do all this and make more money than my wife does at her 9 -5 job. 

Good Luck!

Thanks for sharing.  I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi James, James, Lori, and Dan.  Thanks again.

My buddy that owns the limo company needs a driver tonight and tomorrow.  I had a good open house today, a price reduction, and showings tomorrow. 

It will be busy with no sleep, but necessary.

Ken

Back checking in after the drive.  Might have made $80-$100.  Nice.  But I have to drive again in a few hours.

Yikes.

Ken

Ken ... good for you. You do what you have to do, but be careful. NOTHING is worth your family or your health! Don't wear yourself out.

Back again.  Made another $50 or so.  I have showings at 1:00 today.  Don't know where yet, but I will find some homes to show!

Ken

Ken...I just finished a CRB class in Greensboro NC.  You were the topic of a discussion.  I encouraged everyone to join Active-rain and especially look at your blogs.  I love your self evaluations and the excitement that you hold.  You will be a success!  Your love for the business will prevail.  I encourage you to hang in there.  In my eyes you are a huge success.

Ken, What a heart touching story. Only you know what is best for your family. You are a fairly new Realtor, so first of all, don't be so hard on yourself! For those of us that have been in the business as long as we have, some of us are struggling in this market. If you decide to stick with Real Estate, which it sounds as if you'd like to, get a good business plan in order, and make it happen! You can do it. You sound like such a wonderful husband and kudos to you for trying to keep your wife home where she belongs. You can do whatever you decide to do. If you can see it, it will happen. You just must really really believe it! I think you do! You will look back on this someday and smile, knowing you busted your #$#% to make it work. You'll do it!!! Best of luck to you and we are all cheering you on!

Hi Jamie and Elizabeth.  Thanks so much for commenting.

Elizabeth, thanks for supporting our fight!

Jamie, that is pretty cool.  Can I use you in a testimonial.  I actually already have.  Check out my profile and let me know if it is OK.

Thanks,

Ken

Ken - I can relate to your feelings of helplessness when times are tight (as they are for us, too).  My wife has been a stay-at-home mom for seven years and we homeschool our three children, so I really don't want her to have to go back to work.  I pray daily for our finances.  Keep fighting the good fight - I hope things will improve soon for you guys.  I am including your post in the weekly Family Ties recap tonight.

Ken - I feel your pain buddy.  Real estate can be a hard row to hoe some days but keep at it... if this is where you feel you're meant to be, stick with it.  It might mean getting outside the box for a bit until the market starts moving again but as they say, this too shall pass. We'll keep you in our prayers.

Hi Jason and Jesse.  Thanks so much for commenting. 

I am fighting.  We will make it.  Thanks for the support,

Ken