I was working with a wonderful couple, newly married, that were referred to me through mutual friends.  This couple was delightful however very indecisive.  The first time I took them out we saw 5 houses and they put an offer in on one. Through negotiation I was able to get them the price they wanted but they decided to back out of the deal because they felt it happened so quick.  I reassured them that if they were not 100% sure about the house that backing out of the deal was the right thing and we scheduled an appointment for the following weekend. They liked one of the houses that we saw so we went back a second time and they put in an offer. We went back to the house a third time with their various family members and the next day they decided to not move forward with this house because they felt that the house needed some updating and that they couldn't afford the updates and the mortgage. We went through another weekend of showings for houses (in the same price range, go figure) and they put in a third offer (on a townhouse this time).  The townhouse was  in perfect condition and they were getting it for a steal!  We scheduled and completed the inspection process and ironically enough they backed out of deal #3!!  They said they hadn't factored in the taxes and thought the house was out of their range.  They had an accepted offer for $405K, the same A/O price as the first two deals...their mortgage broker definitely could have better prepared them to understand what they could afford.

 I would love to say that the 4th time was a charm but they backed out of the 4th house as well.   They decided to take a break from house hunting to save a little more money and I just found out they purchased a FSBO for a great price and even-though they drove me crazy I am really happy that they were able to find a house (pre-forclosure) that was right for them.

The question is, how do we educate our first time home buyers to understand the process better, from choosing listings to visit, to understanding their total expenses and then finally the closing procedures? 

I spent a lot of time explaining the process to them but did not get involved with the financing side (in NY the real estate agent usually leaves this part to the mortgage banker/broker).  There is a fine line between helping customers understand what they can afford and stepping on their toes.  Any ideas on a tactful way to ensure that first time home owners understand their total monthly costs as well as the costs associated with closing on a property?