Special offer

I've been away... way away.

By
Industry Observer with The Wine Siren & Agent Caffeine

 

Imagine my surpise when I log onto active rain to update a number of completely outdated items on my page and I find a bank.  A bank?  For a Campaign?  I knew things were changing but... holy moly.  Well change they have and so have I. 

Things have indeed changed.  The irony of seeing a bank on Active rain struck me.  Over the last 6 month facing the deteriorating health of my mother, I strained to put my time into everything as if nothing was changing.  Almost a year after the first set back in her health she peacefully passed on January 24, just after midnight.  During the time she was ill I managed to get by with my life.  Working 70 hours a week or more, caring for my family, juggling friends and keeping my mother company while helping her whenever I could.  I gave mobile office a new definition and my extra 30 lbs. I put on gave me an unflattering  unhealthy dimension.

Suddenly I was dealing with the grief of losing the closest friendship I had ever known, the woman who had given me life, helped me pick up the pieces after I made yet another mistake.  She had given me everything she had to give and still found ways to give more. I gave but like most children, perhaps not so much.  I didn't feel guilt, because I did everything I could do without completely losing my mind.  But in reflection I realized I had lost myself to her illness, to my business and I rolled along bearing a burden not unlike a martyr and didn't recognize what I was becoming.

I tell you this story because I learned in the process, we are so good at giving and we rarely take time to care for ourselves.  To explore our needs and fulfill our dreams.  I had literally lost myself.  I was angry at the world, my little world, for what I had let it become.  

This cautionary tale, albiet brief, is something I hope you can benefit from.  In December I ran my first Marathon, and my Mother was there to see me.  Did I mention it was a damn good marathon in 5 hours and 33 minutes? More importantly it was the first step I took to try and carve some time away from my business and get rid of the resentment for what I wanted but was too busy doing everything BUT taking care of myself. Last week I did completed my first Triathlon in Lanikai - it was long, it was hard and it was a huge accomplishment for me..  I never ever thought I'd do either.  The satisfaction I get of a good workout, of competing in a realm other than in my business is healthy and enables me to keep control of my now girlish 48 year old figure.

Business hasn't taken a back seat.  But I put it where it belong in the grand scheme of things.  After taking care of me, and after taking care of my family.  My health and spirituality come first.  With that I have more to give.  So next time you think about putting money in someone's bank.  Make sure it's your own account first, the account of health and peace of mind.  Without that it doesn't matter how hard you work.

  My Mother... PriscillaThanks Mom, for the mosts important lesson yet.  I miss you and I love you!

By the way, this is my busiest year yet.  I'm not chasing business. I'm attracting it.  Wish I knew about this in my 20's.    

This is me on Kauai taking a breather just last month...

Next month is my 48th birthday.  I'm not saying I've got everything figured out, but I think I'm on the right track...

 

 

 

 

Comments(12)

Tiffany Wilson
eReal Estate Corp - Redondo Beach, CA
SFR, First Time Home Buyers & Investors
Sorry about your mom, but congrats on the marathon and triathlon!  I decided last month that I wanted to train for one.  Unfortunately, that has taken a backseat for a few weeks.  Sound familiar?  I'll have to get back to it ASAP.
Apr 22, 2008 11:03 PM
Gary McNinch
Better Properties Real Estate - Renton, WA
Broker, Renton WA Real Estate

Kelly,

Welcome back.  I lost my mom middle of last summer after a struggle, and yes I miss her.  Sorry about yours, but it's good to see that you are getting back to what matters.  And congrats on the marathon.  Sometimes life is like that.

List and Sell (that's why we say God, Family, then Business)  Gary @ RentonHomeFinder 

Apr 22, 2008 11:05 PM
Kelly Mitchell
The Wine Siren & Agent Caffeine - Napa, CA
TheWineSiren.com Food | Wine | Fab *Napa Valley
Hi Tiffany,  Thanks so much for your comment.  Good to hear from you!  Congrats on training.  Keep it up and don't put it off.  You mose muscle tone in just two weeks!  Depressing but true.  Let me know when you get ready for your first race and Congratulations again! 
Apr 22, 2008 11:08 PM
Kelly Mitchell
The Wine Siren & Agent Caffeine - Napa, CA
TheWineSiren.com Food | Wine | Fab *Napa Valley
Hi Gary,  Thanks for the kind welcome.  I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well.  Here's to great Moms and reminding those who still have them to call and visit them often!
Apr 22, 2008 11:09 PM
Laura Karambelas
Baird & Warner Downers Grove - Downers Grove, IL
Realtor - Downers Grove
Kelly- I am sorry for your loss!  Your post is very inspirational, especially with the frustrating real estate market and all the negativity from around the globe.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our life that we forget how to LIVE! 
Apr 22, 2008 11:12 PM
Chip Jefferson
Gibbs Realty and Auction Company - Columbia, SC
Kelly, I hope that the memories of you mother lighten your days and that you take time to bow and have a chat with her daily! I also lost my Mother 8 Months ago. She is still here with me everyday!
Apr 22, 2008 11:29 PM
Melody Botting
Broker Associate PenFed Realty - San Antonio, TX
You Deserve The Best
Nothing like Hawii to take a breather.  I am sorry for your loss.
Apr 23, 2008 12:00 AM
Patty Carroll
Vancouver, WA
Kelly, so sorry for your loss. Your post was very inspiring and we wish you well.
Apr 23, 2008 01:19 AM
Rich Jacobson
Fathom Realty West Sound - Poulsbo, WA
Your Kitsap County WA Real Estate Broker
Kelly - nice to see your smiling face around here! My wife's sister just died recently, so I can truly empathize with your loss. All the more reason to embrace each day, and live it to its fullest!...
Apr 23, 2008 05:44 AM
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!

Hi Kelly..Welcome back!  Sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.  I lost my mom last December and it's not easy.  Take care and best wishes to you.

 

Apr 24, 2008 09:33 AM
Ronnie Margolis
KW Kauai - Kapaa, HI
Kauai Realtor - CDPE, ABR, RA - On Top of the Aloh

Kelly, thanks for your heartfelt post and courage to share your process and vulnerability. All good things to you.

Jun 12, 2008 08:46 PM
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

I'm so sorry for your loss...

I hope you are well. I'm going through some down times myself lately and I admire strong women like yourself.

 

Oct 26, 2015 05:35 PM