Imagine my surpise when I log onto active rain to update a number of completely outdated items on my page and I find a bank.  A bank?  For a Campaign?  I knew things were changing but... holy moly.  Well change they have and so have I. 

Things have indeed changed.  The irony of seeing a bank on Active rain struck me.  Over the last 6 month facing the deteriorating health of my mother, I strained to put my time into everything as if nothing was changing.  Almost a year after the first set back in her health she peacefully passed on January 24, just after midnight.  During the time she was ill I managed to get by with my life.  Working 70 hours a week or more, caring for my family, juggling friends and keeping my mother company while helping her whenever I could.  I gave mobile office a new definition and my extra 30 lbs. I put on gave me an unflattering  unhealthy dimension.

Suddenly I was dealing with the grief of losing the closest friendship I had ever known, the woman who had given me life, helped me pick up the pieces after I made yet another mistake.  She had given me everything she had to give and still found ways to give more. I gave but like most children, perhaps not so much.  I didn't feel guilt, because I did everything I could do without completely losing my mind.  But in reflection I realized I had lost myself to her illness, to my business and I rolled along bearing a burden not unlike a martyr and didn't recognize what I was becoming.

I tell you this story because I learned in the process, we are so good at giving and we rarely take time to care for ourselves.  To explore our needs and fulfill our dreams.  I had literally lost myself.  I was angry at the world, my little world, for what I had let it become.  

This cautionary tale, albiet brief, is something I hope you can benefit from.  In December I ran my first Marathon, and my Mother was there to see me.  Did I mention it was a damn good marathon in 5 hours and 33 minutes? More importantly it was the first step I took to try and carve some time away from my business and get rid of the resentment for what I wanted but was too busy doing everything BUT taking care of myself. Last week I did completed my first Triathlon in Lanikai - it was long, it was hard and it was a huge accomplishment for me..  I never ever thought I'd do either.  The satisfaction I get of a good workout, of competing in a realm other than in my business is healthy and enables me to keep control of my now girlish 48 year old figure.

Business hasn't taken a back seat.  But I put it where it belong in the grand scheme of things.  After taking care of me, and after taking care of my family.  My health and spirituality come first.  With that I have more to give.  So next time you think about putting money in someone's bank.  Make sure it's your own account first, the account of health and peace of mind.  Without that it doesn't matter how hard you work.

  Thanks Mom, for the mosts important lesson yet.  I miss you and I love you!

By the way, this is my busiest year yet.  I'm not chasing business. I'm attracting it.  Wish I knew about this in my 20's.    

This is me on Kauai taking a breather just last month...

Next month is my 48th birthday.  I'm not saying I've got everything figured out, but I think I'm on the right track...