Taking the Time to Know the People Around You

Taking the Time to Know the People Around You

Several hours ago I received an email from a high school classmate of mine. He had attached an article about a high school biology teacher we both had well over 50 years ago. This teacher was celebrating her 100th birthday. There was a picture of her standing at a table cutting her birthday cake. The years have been kind to her. I am thinking that she must have cooked up something in her lab because I think she discovered a pill to stop aging. Despite a few more gray hairs, she looked just like she did a half a century ago when I sat at a lab table in her class.

The article detailed this teacher’s life and told of her moving to Ohio back in the early 1920’s from Europe. I couldn’t help but wonder what were the circumstances surrounding her family move to the United States? Drawing on my history lessons, Europe had just concluded one war and was working its way toward another blood bath. Was her family caught up in all that?

Reading further, I found out she had attended Kent State for her undergraduate degree and continued on to earn her master’s degree there too. I smiled as I thought that I went to Kent too.

I found out she had married, and the article listed her husband’s name. I found out she had children…I now know their names too. I wondered if her husband had been a good man, husband, and father? Did she have a good marriage? It sounded, from the article, that her children were actively involved in her life…but had they always been kind and loving towards their mother?

 With a deep sense of sadness, I thought to myself…I didn’t know any of this. I far as I what I knew about her life, she could have been a cardboard cutout placed at the head of the classroom. I am sure she knew a whole lot more about me back then than I knew about her.

Oh sure, I can cut myself a little slack. I was a teenager when her and my worlds intersected. I have 4 kids myself, so I know firsthand that a teenager’s world centers around them, and no one else. At that time in my life, a teacher simply was a person who stood in the way of me having fun. They force you sit for hours on end listening to them explain things about subjects you could care less about. Adding insult to injury, they pass out homework to further interfere with having fun. They test you, and grade you, and point out to your parents that you are woefully lacking in your comprehension of anything important.

Thinking about all this, I contemplated about how my interaction with her might have been more meaningful if I had spent 5 minutes trying to get to know her as a human being.

Besides this being an age thing, perhaps it is a guy thing too. I am sure my wife knows more about her hairdresser than I know about my barber. That’s got to be part of it…about once a week my wife will look at me with this incredulous scowl on her face as she says something like, “What do you mean you didn’t know that about (fill in the blank as far as a name)?” Being totally honest, I think I am relatively tuned in on things…until my wife and I have one of these conversations, and then I quickly realize that I walk around with blinders on most of the time. How else can I explain my lack of knowledge of my own world?

After today, I am going to try extra hard to “know” the people I encounter. I am going to ask a few more questions. I am going to pay attention a little more. I am going to make them feel that I care…because I do.

I am going to end this with the following Mother Teresa quote, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ”

Oh, by the way…happy 100th birthday, Mrs. Fleming.