I recently finished helping a buyer buy a new home, and at the end of the transaction I came away with deep sense of relief, and a deep sense of sadness.
The vast majority of clients I deal with are referrals from former clients. At my stage in life, I like dealing with people I hopefully know a little about before I ever meet them. I figure if this new client is a friend of a former client…and if I like the former client…there’s a pretty good chance I am going to like this new client too. Rarely do nice people have not-so-nice people as friends.
This business model tends to limit my income possibilities, but it also tends to limit the drama in my life too. I am a cranky old man and I can’t fake being nice to a troublesome client long enough to get the home closed. So, I fish in waters where I know I am not going to land a shark in my boat. I’ll leave the sharks to you risk takers who are willing to risk losing a hand while trying to land the big ones.
Occasionally though someone gets a little deep in the process before I realize this person has the potential to be trouble. Perhaps I was really tired and I had my guard down when we first met. Perhaps they were on their best behavior the first couple times we were out together. I find most people can fake being nice for a while. It is usually when they get stressed that you realize this person comes with horns and a tail. When you look over and see that their eyes are glowing a bright shade of red, you quickly realize at the very least you are one quick step away from a bad Zillow review; or worse yet, becoming a defendant in a lawsuit as they transform themselves from client to plaintiff.
I just concluded a transaction with a client who seemed to have a chip on his shoulder that was permanently affixed. As we worked our way towards closing, I began to hear how the lender was an idiot, all the title people didn’t know what the hell they were doing, the sellers left the home a mess, the sellers had concealed problems, the listing agent was dishonest. While, to my face, I was left off his list of morons; I knew that to his family, co-workers, and his small circle of friends…I was probably solidly ranked #1 on his list.
Since I almost never encounter this sort of behavior, at first I tried to fix those things that he considered not up to his standards. I patiently listened as he ran through his long list of complaints on how he had been wronged. I apologized to him for being dissatisfied with his home buying experience. I vowed that I would do my best to remedy those things I could.
What I quickly discovered was that for everything I could mark off his problem’s list, he had his piece of chalk ready to add another complaint to his blackboard of transgressions against him. Sadly I learned he simply could not be pleased.
Eventually, I simply stopped responding to him. Frankly, he had entered a realm of complaining that no other client had ever remotely entered. The things he was offended by, hundreds of other clients had safely navigated without so much as raising an eyebrow.
It’s been a while since we closed, and thankfully so far he hasn’t visited my Zillow profile and I still have a 5 star rating. I still have a ways to go before we reach that statute of limitations for legal proceedings…but I am going to hope that he has moved on to a whole host of other morons.
So I am relieved to not have him in my life anymore, but I feel sad for him.
Life was never meant to be lived the way he is living his. He is still a young man. If he would listen, I’d like to tell him there will be things that will befall him that will drop him to his knees…real problems, nothing like the things he thought were problems when he bought his house. I pray that he learns better coping skills; otherwise he will not be able to weather the real storms in life.
I wish he would listen if I told him that those who go looking for problems, will 100% always find them. I’d like to tell him that trouble does not follow him. No, he is actively engaged in looking for it! I’d like to tell him to not be so quick to tell someone off because you have no idea what sort of trouble that person may be dealing with. I would like to tell him you get more from others if you treat them with kindness and respect. If you expect the worst from someone you will not be disappointed.
I’m at a point in my life where I don’t believe in random anymore. No, I think God brings people together for a reason. After this, I am going to appreciate the "kind" clients a little more. I won’t take them for granted…not that I ever did, but I am going to savor them a tad more knowing that kindness is not universal. I am going to pray that my unhappy man finds joy to brighten his life. And when I use the word “pray”, I mean that literally. I am really going to pray that God will show him that the darkness his lives in is simply a choice he makes. Our world is full of beauty and joy. You just have to go looking for it. I will wish for him exactly what I wish for everyone of my clients…that they are blessed to have kind and loving people in their life, and they find joy in what I call God’s teachable moment with all of us on this spinning rock of a planet.
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