After yet another frustrating conversation with a loved one, it was quite timely that I stumbled upon a TED video, 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation by Celeste Headlee. Give it a watch, it's entertaining and insightful.
In the world of texting and blogging, the art of conversation is being lost; social interaction is slacking or just isn't being taught. I am guilty of forgetting at times and think it's so important not to lose this art so here's a reminder; the Coles Notes version on 10 ways to have a better conversation.
- Don’t multitask. Be present and in the now. Don’t look for keys, think about what you’re going to do next.
- Don’t pontificate. Be in a conversation assuming you’re going to learn something not just argue or say what you want to say. If that's what you want, write a blog.
- Use open ended questions. Who, what, when, where, why. It provides an opportunity for answers with their opinion or expand on their experience, not yours.
- Go with the flow. Don’t get hung up on an idea or question you thought of while listening. It can interrupt the flow of conversation and you may have missed the answer and look foolish.
- If you don’t know, say that you don’t. Everyone is an expert in something and not everything.
- Don’t equate your experience with theirs – it’s not about you. Conversations are not a promotional opportunity.
- Try not to repeat yourself. It’s condescending.
- Stay out of the wait. Don’t spend too much time trying to remember the details.
- LISTEN. #1 most important skill to learn.
- Be brief. A good conversation is like a mini skirt, short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
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