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When the First Time Buyer is Your First Born it's Back to Basics

By
Real Estate Agent with Boardman Realty Minnesota License#90858
 

 

Buying a first house is difficult whether you’re in your mid-20’s or mid-30’s or really at any age. Over the years I have assisted people making this first big purchase in every age group from 18 on up. No matter the age, there are things that must be considered to be a successful homeowner. Buying a home should not be on a whim but a thought out plan. I always let a buyer make their own final decision but I do offer helpful advice throughout the home buying process.
My kids have grown up watching my educational sales process. Often I would have to pick them up from their elementary school and head directly to an afternoon showing with them in tow. They sat in the back of the minivan with snacks and Gameboys but I know they could occasionally hear conversations through the windows. 


Now my oldest is in that process of graduating from renter to home buyer. This is somewhat of a challenge for both of us requiring me to rely on my basic approach to educate rather than just say “don’t buy that one”. Over the years I have seen parents have to resort to a “tough love” approach with their children buying a first home. Sometimes it backfires even when the parents are right. The buyers are trying to spread their wings and make their first major adult purchase. It can be embarrassing to them when a parent vetoes their decision on their dream home. 


My job has been a balancing act of educating both parents and the buyer to somehow make everyone happy. After all, the buyer will have to live in the house and pay for updates and repairs whether Mom & Dad like the house or not. It is better for all concerned if they have come to some sort of understanding before the purchase agreement is signed that this particular home is the buyer’s best option.


Now as the parent of the buyer, it is a bit of a different ballgame. I get to educate the buyer while letting him make his own decision. So it is back to basics….


1.    Get pre-approved by a good, reputable loan officer to pre-approve prior to starting the home search.
2.    Make a list of target areas to live in. Understand how different municipalities and properties taxes can fluctuate greatly.
3.    Decide what features are “must haves” in a house. Educate on how to read an MLS listing for things like foundation type and size, heating source, and room sizes. Scan the photos for possible issues like asbestos siding, deteriorating driveway or gigantic trees to narrow down the "must see list".  Eliminate any home with an issue that might be a huge expense down the road. 
4.    Remember not to get too invested in a specific house until after the offer is accepted and the inspection is done. 


Putting my 20+ years of experience as a REALTOR® and homeowner to use to help a home buyer understand the basics is one of the services I provide. Not just to my family, but to all of my first time buyers.  


Helping this particular home buyer will be a bit more of an adventure. But like everything else, one step at a time.

Posted by

Teri Eckholm. REALTOR with Boardman Realty, is a native Minnesotan who has lived and worked in the Minneapolis St Paul metro all of her life. She specializes in lakeshore homes, acreage properties and first time home buyers but assists anyone making a move in the north and east Twin Cities metro.

If you are buying, selling or relocating to Minnesota and need help from a professional REALTOR®, give Teri , a call or visit her website for a FREE Home Buyer Success Guide or FREE Home Value Report She specialize in acreage and lakeshore properties in the north and east Twin Cities metro area including Ham Lake, Lino Lakes and all communities in the Forest Lake School District! Serving Anoka, Chisago, Ramsey and Washington Counties in Minnesota.

Copyright 2019 terieckholm.com

 

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Comments (30)

Rob Arnold
Sand Dollar Realty Group, Inc. - Altamonte Springs, FL
Metro Orlando Full Service - Investor Friendly & F

Definitely an exciting new challenge.  There is so much you can teach them. 

Mar 04, 2016 05:58 AM
Susan Jacobsen
The Alliance Group Realty - Hilton Head Island, SC
20 Years Providing WOW Real Estate Service

Teri - I had this same circumstance 5 years ago and your points brought it all back to me - my daughter is an architect in historic preservation and thus, like some of our first time buyers - 'knew it all'. I can assure you that the family dynamics were very interesting...............to be frank I don't think in the past she had much regard or understanding of my job or all the intricacies and considerations in buying a home, but just like your points above, we started right at the beginning with all the things to do 1,2,3,4,and 5! In the end, we found a great home - though the renovation is a whole other post - and she loves it.

Mar 04, 2016 06:07 AM
Evelyn Johnston
Friends & Neighbors Real Estate - Elkhart, IN
The People You Know, Like and Trust!

Hopefully things will go great and your Son will love the home for years to come!

Mar 04, 2016 07:04 AM
Marti Steele Kilby, CRS
Steele Group Realty - La Mesa, CA
Broker/Owner, San Diego, CA

Been there for both of daughters and their husbands.  It sounds like you're doing all the right things in terms of educating your son.  One thing I found to be most useful was to make sure they were working with a loan officer I knew that we could all rely on to get the job done right!

Mar 04, 2016 07:15 AM
Janis Borgueta
Newburgh, NY
Retired RE Salesperson

Excellent advice! To be sure sharing this information is more than just a family secret.

Mar 04, 2016 08:57 AM
Cathy Perry
RedKey Realty Leaders - Wildwood, MO

My son was my second home buyer. Fortunately, after looking at a gazillion houses, we all agreed he had found the perfect one, even my hyper picky husband. His fifth anniversary of homeownership
is next month.

Mar 04, 2016 09:47 AM
Eren Millam
Realty World Cosser & Associates, Inc. - Chehalis, WA
Certified Negotiation Expert

My wife has always been my worst client ever! I think she does it on purpose. I hope yours goes much better!

Mar 04, 2016 10:28 AM
Dorte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Teri,

How exciting. Time to tread lightly though. Maybe you can just ask a lot of questions, like "Did you notice how the trim was rotten?" "I am sure, you saw the outdated electric panel." "How long do you think, that roof has left?"

Mar 04, 2016 11:01 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I'm sure when my sons are in the home buying stage, it will be a little difficult for me to be "just" the real estate professional and not Mom! 

Mar 04, 2016 09:23 PM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Teri Eckholm - My son and his pregnant wife just purchased their first home through me. It was an experience. Honestly, I treated them no different than any other client. Except that we were under the gun because of the coming baby. Actually, they were my first first time buyer!  It took awhile but they finally found a home they could get excited over. After moving in, two weeks later, they had their first child.  I am now a first time grandmother of a baby boy! Tristan was born on Superbowl Sunday! See blog and pics!

Mar 04, 2016 10:24 PM
Marte Cliff

Sheri Sperry - MCNE Congratulations Grandma! 

Mar 05, 2016 01:15 PM
Marney Kirk
Cummings & Co. Realtors - Towson, MD
Towson, Maryland Real Estate

Hi Teri, this will be a tough one for you! :) Good luck! Yes, treat your first born like any first time homebuyer, and you know you will help make the best decision for them, because that is what you do!

Mar 04, 2016 10:45 PM
Jim Harper
Atlanta Communities Real Estate - Marietta, GA

Wow Teri, that brings back memories. Son and new bride 11 years ago. He's an engineer and he really "put me through the ringer." But a very good result ... until he took a job out of state ... in 2008 ... Talk about pressure - marketing their home in that environment. We succeeded but phewww(!) Thanks for the post.

Mar 05, 2016 02:33 AM
Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner
Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395 - Mission Viejo, CA
Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395

Nice post and good tips. First time buyers are special, but work. :) Ack, somehow I posted before I was finished. lol. I'm going to be taking my first born out soon also and I'm looking forward to it, but it will be challenging too. 

Mar 05, 2016 07:41 AM
Dana Basiliere
Rossi & Riina Real Estate - Williston, VT
Making deals "Happen"

Teri,

Good for you not being too much of a mother hen. The kids need to learn on their own with guidance of course. I have one nephew who is on his second home and has made good decisions both times. 

Mar 05, 2016 09:30 AM
Joan Whitebook
BHG The Masiello Group - Nashua, NH
Consumer Focused Real Estate Services

This is one which many first time buyer have a problem with

"Remember not to get too invested in a specific house until after the offer is accepted and the inspection is done. "

Mar 05, 2016 10:52 AM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

My babies didn't decide to become homeowners until after I had let my license go - but they grew up in real estate, so they knew a lot. One son bought out of state, and the other one did take me along when he was looking at homes, so I had some input. 

Mar 05, 2016 01:18 PM
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

The flip side to parental tough love, is idiot know it all relative that knows everyting (They read somewhere.).  I am sure you are steering yours in the right direction though.

Mar 07, 2016 05:48 AM
Dolores Woods
Ventura Property Shoppe, Inc - Ventura, CA
Negotiating a win for all.

Nice article. I wish I could be there in person to help my son and daughter-in-law, but they are on the other coast and all I can do is talk on the phone. My son does ask me questions and listens to the answers, and of course I have referred them to others for help.

Mar 07, 2016 08:44 AM
Sharon Parisi
United Real Estate Dallas - Dallas, TX
Dallas Homes

I visited my nephew this weekend who is a first time home buyer in another state. We spent the weekend talking about the home buying process. I enjoy working with first time home buyers.  Their enthusiasm is contagious.

Mar 13, 2016 05:02 AM
Jan Green - Scottsdale, AZ
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

It's not always easy helping your own purchase a house. My daughter's personality changed like I had never seen before!  Good luck to you and yours for their first home purchase!

Mar 17, 2016 07:18 AM