An investor client wanted me to look at a few of her properties in the city, so off I went this morning, starting with a vacant property. Knowing it had a possible inclusion… a squatter… as I parked in front, it was with a wary eye. I took note of who I assumed to be neighbors, a few men on various doorsteps, and introduced myself. The man who lived next door to the property was a gold mine of information. The squatter wasn’t there now and hadn’t been seen there in at least a few days. The neighbor, who we’ll call John, was soon joined by his niece, Amber, and her children. We talked about the neighborhood, how the buildings had character and how the area had such promise and yet, held such potential for danger once it got dark.
Wilmington has had its share of bad news in terms of shootings recently. Once I stepped up to the front door of the rowhome and turned around, I saw a group of young men gathering just slightly down a side street. On the pole beside them were flowers and a stuffed animal. I realized that was the site of a recent shooting. Turns out, those men were gathered there to have a few private moments together, remembering their friend, for whom they were planning a barbecue tonight in his honor. I asked John and Amber about the victim. “Did you know him?” Yes, they both replied, he was a friend of all of ours. “An innocent victim?” I asked.
Innocent of this, yes, Amber informed me, but not so innocent all the time.
How sad, how very sad, to be frozen in memoriam, due to violence and have the memory of you linked forever to a wrongdoing and illegal behavior and poor choices.
“I have a feeling he was a good friend and had a good heart beneath the bad choices,” I responded. “What a shame to be forever remembered for being at your worst.”
If you’ve read the Bible much, you’ve probably heard of Thomas. Doubting Thomas. A great example of someone whose name is etched into eternity with an association of his weakest moment. I shared that idea briefly with John and Amber and said that I hoped their friend could be remembered for things he’d done well.
I hope we all can be remembered for things we do well, not just for the moments when we’re at our weakest, when we’re most flawed. And I hope that when I deal with someone tomorrow, or the day after, who is displaying their weakness, I’ll remember writing these words.
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