There are two posts right now that have me giggling, sighing and then pondering. One I nicknamed BUTTHURT by Kathleen Daniels and the other is HEARTBROKEN by Brenda Mullen. Read them both, the comments and relate!
How many of you IMMEDIATELY remembered those "friends" who chose not to use you for their real estate deal and how that convo went? I promise, no kidding, I remember every one of them. My level of love and respect comes not only from their decision to use me or someone else, but from the words they chose to use, if any, as an explanation. Trump's' "YOU'RE FIRED!" are not the right words. Explanations are not necessary, they don't owe me a thing, technically, but explanations do show they care for you enough to offer one.
Kristen, I have a family member...
Kristen, I want to use you, but he wants to use his co-worker.
Kristen, we are just private and nervous to mix professional and personal.
Kristen, I need someone fitting this other criteria.
Kristen, I don't want you to be apart of the stress, only the friendship...
Kristen, my divorce attorney said use this guy...
There are so many things said over the years, but one thing is for sure...
The more I heard them, the less I got butthurt over it and moved forward, and the more likely they were to come back the next time or send me what I like to think of as guilt-referrals. You know what I mean!
Truthfully, some people who turned and used someone else I never spoke to again. But some are still my best friends today. It just depends...
Sometimes people don't use you because they are jealous of you, they don't want you to have the money. It's not you at all. It's their own issues.
Sometimes they are vindictive and they literally want to hurt you.
Sometimes they are just that thoughtless!
But, sometimes it's nothing like that at all! They are great people who will go on to be great friends and may even use you next time, because sometimes the person they did choose (over you) they discovered wasn't as good as you in many regards. Or whatever other reason they come back home to Mama.
I also remember the convos later on when they tell me the person they used over me was not as good as I am... on a professional level, as well as on a personal level. Awe, that feels good. Or the 5-star review they offer me when they use me next time. Because never discount the next time!
Sometimes I am the one pulling out my hair. Other times they chose someone else and they are the one's pulling out their own gray hairs for their often random dumb decisions. It just depends. But I never discount the next opportunity to impress them! Afterall, how can I think, "You don't care about me or my feelings or respect me as a pro." If I am standing there saying, "Our friendship is conditional on the sale of a house with me." That doesn't always make a lot of sense...
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