There are a number of excellent books on negotiation and sales. Most real estate agents are familiar with classics like, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and "How to Get What You Want" by Zig Ziglar. There's scores of others. But sometimes, we find the best advice in unexpected books.
Such could be the case with Oliva Fox Cabane's book, "The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism."
The book describes the 3 elements of charisma as "presence, power and warmth", providing studies that illustrate how certain behaviors can charm others.
While we can't boil the whole book down into a mobile-friendly, easy-reading blog post (our headline is already too long - oops!) we're going to share some gems that can apply to real estate! Here are "power" signals that can benefit you in negotiations, along with our own suggestions!
1. Take up physical space. Managers and executives get bigger offices than the hourly staff. Leaders sit at the head of a table while others are elbow-to-elbow down either side. We're trained to give those in superior positions more "space."
When you are negotiating, "taking up room" can be a subtle signal of your confidence and authority. Sitting sideways in one chair while leaning an arm over another is an example. Standing at a table, and leaning forward your hands on it, is another. (Though this may be seen as aggressive.)
Sitting and leaning back, with your legs stretched out, or standing tall with your hands on your hips are also dominant postures.
2. Dress like a boss. This doesn't mean expensive, as much as well-put together. Clothing should be tailored to fit you. You should also be impeccably groomed; the frazzled, harried look is like chum to sharks. Always give yourself time between appointments to check your appearance, touch-up your hair, straighten your collar and take a deep breath.
3. Negotiate more by saying less. People in authoritative roles do not feel compelled to fill every silence. In fact, they use strategic silences to their advantage, prompting the other party to open up and do more of the talking. In the process, this causes more information to be volunteered.
Avoid using filler words and sounds, such as "um" and "you know." Not only is this unprofessional, but it shows you may be nervous, or speaking faster than you're thinking.
Speak slowly, without rushing your words. When asked a question, pause a beat before answering. Give your answer without explaining your reasoning in any great detail. In the silence that follows, the other party will step in. By now, they are becoming anxious to figure out what you want, and how to please you.
During the conversation, nod sparingly. Avoid the temptation to fidget, check your phone, tap a pen, or seek distraction. As the one in control, you should be calmly confident and focused.
4. Have a good handshake. A firm, but not overly-hard grip that's brief and sincere speaks volumes. Look the other party in the eye as you shake hands. Practice your handshake!
5. Remain warm. There is nothing quite as flattering as a powerful person paying attention to you. Make frequent eye contact with the other party. Smile. Show interest - and control the conversation - by asking questions.
Be sure to truly listen to what the other party is sharing; not only will you learn more about them, but you could receive valuable information.
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Bonita Breit
Copywriting & Marketing Specialist
RealSupport, Inc.
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