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Your priorities at 20 may not be the same as those at 40 or even 60.

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Cornerstone Business Group Inc 0225086119

Your priorities at 20 may not be the same as they are at 40 or even 60. Life is an ever evolving series of intersecting events that form the people we become. Our opinions change, our understanding of a myriad of topics and subjects evolve and we become (hopefully) more refined and intelligent in our view of the world. In that, the world benefits from our evolution.

When I was a child, my life goal was to play professional football. That is all I thought about. Early in my high school years, I had a major knee injury that sidelined that life goal, and I fell into a downward spiral that led to a lot of mayhem in my early life. Another sidelining event was my size. I didn't grow into a mountainous young man that would make a great nose-guard (my favorite position). I was just average size, but I was a very aggressive player who didn't let size matter, but my knee was going to set my course for a life priority change.

For nearly five years, my life was adrift, and my priorities and goals were lost. Fortunately, I learned a great lesson in my 20s. Life events can make us better, or they can make us bitter. I was bitter for a long time, but in my early 20s I became better. I set new priorities with new sign posts and goals. 

The funny thing about my 20s priorities is that I could clearly see where I wanted to go. I did everything in the proper order, accomplished every goal, set new markers to make sure I stayed on course and when I reached my 40s I was still on course. I was moving in on my ultimate goals. Some health related issues caused a few hiccups along the way, but I wasn't totally off course. I just had to make some adjustments and continue to move forward.

By the time I reached my 50s, the goals that I had set in my 20s were no longer as appealing to me. They were great goals, full of a lot of exciting things, but thirty years of events had changed the person I was in my 20s. Now, as I peer over into my 60s (yes, I am that old), I see a whole new set of priorities. They don't resemble the 20s priorities in the slightest. The events from 20 to today have molded, destroyed, remolded and reformulated my priorities two times over. 

The purpose of my story, is this, where your life will go is part planning, part happenstance and part providence. If you hold to a life goal as tightly as a 15 year old does, it may be your undoing. Life is a lot like a river. It ebbs and flows in a defined set of boundaries. Ever so often, a deluge of rain makes the river move out of its boundaries and it forms new ones. The new ones may bring fresh life to the land, livestock and families downstream. So, in that, can we say that it was a bad thing? What may look like a disaster in the heat of the moment may actually be a life-giving event in the end.

As your life ebbs and flows through time, I would encourage you to hold your goals and priorities in your hands very loosely. Allow them to change for the better as life events form the person you are becoming. You might be surprised at how much better life turns out than you had planned. Your priorities at 20 may not be the same as they are at 40 or even at 60. They may become better with time.

Comments (14)

Sybil Campbell
Fernandina Beach, FL
Referral Agent Amelia Island Florida

Hi Mike, Our priorities do change quite a bit over the years don't they? Most 20 year olds can't afford a house, the 40 years olds have the big house and the 60 year olds are probably trying to downsize!

Aug 27, 2016 03:34 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Hi Mike - you make a great point that our life is planning, happenstance, as well as divine providence.  I think that has been true with me.

Aug 27, 2016 04:21 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Mike- beautifully said.  I can't imagine living the life I envisioned when I was in my 20s.  I love the line that life is part planning, part happenstance, and part providence and that it is. 

Aug 27, 2016 04:28 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV

Kathy, I believe the biggest problems we humans have with that is trusting happenstance and providence. God has an amazing way to getting us where He wants us. Even if we don't recognize it.

Aug 27, 2016 07:51 AM
Kathy Streib

Mike- I love what you said.  We do have to have faith in God.  In fact having that faith is a strength I am constantly trying to build. 

Aug 27, 2016 11:30 AM
Chrissi Chapman Topoleski
Coldwell Banker Realty - Woodbridge, VA
Helping agents live an exceptional life!

I never relished getting older, but for the reasons you mention I have come to accept and welcome it. My priorities at 20 and 30 were vastly different, and 40 saw such a wide variation from my 20's. It seems to only get better.

Aug 27, 2016 06:31 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV

Yes it does, Chrissi.

Aug 27, 2016 07:50 AM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

That is so true about priorities changing.  I have grown grandchildren and have shuffled around this planet for awhile.  When I look back, I realize that I spent the first half of life thinking I was one thing, when all along, I was really something quite another!

Aug 27, 2016 10:26 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV

Myrl, wouldn't be great if we found out sooner. 

Aug 27, 2016 10:31 AM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

CONGRATULATIONS Mike, on having this blog FEATURED in the Old Farts Club group!    

Aug 27, 2016 10:27 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

                                     Thank you Mike Cooper 

Aug 27, 2016 11:30 AM
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR

Good morning Mike.  As I will in the next few years be knocking on the door of 70 my goals have been accomplished.  Now I look forward to just living the dream, which I am.  Your analogy is right on target. 

Aug 27, 2016 08:42 PM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

I am now sixty and I can vouch for the truthfulness of this observation. 

Aug 27, 2016 09:21 PM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Mike. Use your paddle to stear the canoe and understand the forces of nature may alter your plan! Enjoy your day!

Aug 27, 2016 10:18 PM
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Mike. I continue to admire your insights and your attitude. Terrific post.

Aug 27, 2016 11:38 PM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Mike

This is such a well done, and thoughtful, piece. I think your point about what happens in life is part planning, part happenstance and part providence is particularly on target. Life doesn't always go the way we want, not matter how badly we might want it too. It takes time to realize that.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Jeff

Aug 28, 2016 05:21 AM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Mike well said my priorities have been changing every year, every month and what was important in my 20's is not what is important now, Endre

Aug 28, 2016 11:45 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

What a wonderful post, Mike! Honest above reproach!  Thank you for sharing. Some people have their sites on a goal at an early age and never forget or they give up. You reset your priorities and it made you a better man. Babies aren't born with instruction plans or a guarantee either. I think many of us are harder on ourselves, that our parents were while raising us as children.

I think you've done a great job with yourself!

Aug 29, 2016 11:44 PM