One of the basic rules in writing self-promotional marketing copy is this: Remember that it’s not about you.
A few months ago I wrote about an agent who started sending postcards to my son after his listing expireds. Now we've gotten ten of them, and every one violates the basic rule...
Every card begins with "I," and every paragraph is about the agent. Ugh. But he's definitely not alone in this practice.
When you want to promote your services, it’s easy to mistakenly think that your message should be about you.
But effective self-promotion is never about you. It’s always about your prospect and the benefits he or she will enjoy from working with you.
So never, ever begin a marketing message with the words “I” or “we.” And then, 
as you get into the body of your copy, strive to use those words sparingly. A good rule of thumb to follow is to use some version of “You” at least 3 or 4 times as often as any version of “I.” Your software should have a “find” feature. Use it to find and count each version of both words.
If you find you’ve gotten focused on you rather than your reader, turn some sentences around.
Just to give you an example, here’s a headline from a marketing piece that was sent to me for revision:
“What We Want Our Clients to Know About Buying a Home”
There are two things wrong with this headline:
- It's about the writers and what they want.
-
It de-personalizes the message to the reader, because it's focused on some unknown clients.
Here’s a better headline:
"What you need to know about buying a house."
See how easy it is to shift the focus from you to your prospect?
Now do the same with your opening paragraph and all the paragraphs that follow…
There IS one exception: Your agent bio. Your readers expect that to be about you. But even there, the overuse of "I" can turn people away. So do remember to focus on how what you do and who you are is a benefit to clients.
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