I'm thankful for the past
It is often said, in hindsight that wasn't so bad. I recently rode a roller coaster with my grandson, looking back it wasn't so bad, at the time a completely different thought. So it is with my past.
When I look back, it isn't so bad. We had some wonderful times, great vacations, tasty meals, three awesome sons, and now three wonderful daughter in laws and three grandchildren as of now. and I'm thankful for those times that were so enjoyable.
But, there were also other times we made it through, even though I didn't think we would. There were choices I made and storms in life, deaths of family, pets, business losses, a son going to Iraq twice that all needed to be weathered. (Yes, that is his Humvee above, he never told us he had been blown up till he got home, but we worried every day, and he lost many friends over there.) It hurt to see my kids not have all the things I wanted to provide because we lost everything immigrating to America. It hurt to believe no one cared, physically or spiritually. I hated the phrase God only gives you what he knows you can handle.
There were some very dark days, when it did not seem worth carrying on; days when the tears flowed and I wondered if they would ever stop. Days, I wish I could take back words I spoke in anger or pain but it was too late and I had to see their impact as they struck home, wounds in the ones I loved.
People often ask "how are things?" My answer nowadays is, "the sea is smooth, the winds are blowing smoothly, and the ship is sailing where we want it to go". None of us want to go through those dark storms, with the raging waves, soaked to the skin wondering if we will make it through till morning. We want it to be sunny, light winds and cool temperatures.
But, in reality that is not life. I know my grandson loved riding the roller coasters with me, so what I needed to visit the chiropractor afterward, it was worth it. Yes, we endured hard times, but at least we had taken the plunge and laid it out there, we suffered but we picked ourselves up and made it through. I would far rather that, than having stayed put, and not risked it all and have regretted not trying. Yes, we grieved for parents and siblings who died, but we understand that pain when others experience it.
I'm thankful for the days when we were able to rest, friends came alongside and helped us. I'm grateful for being in a good place and being able to look back and know that is in the past and not have to worry if we could endure it. We did, it is in the past, and if something rears its head we will overcome that as well.We have a track record, it is the past and I am grateful for it.