Why Wouldn't Your Friends Use You

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 311291

 

Recent posts  have been written about working with friends and relatives. Many say this is not a good idea but I have some concerns about the reasons.

IF, and that is a big if, you are the best agent, why wouldn't your true friends want to hire you?  And why wouldn't you want to work with them?

Many friends, colleagues and relatives have used me to list and sell.

 And I have also made decisions NOT to work with certain friends, former colleagues and relatives.

Knowing personality traits, it would not be possible to meet expectations.

It is a business decision no different than interviewing sellers.

Do I really  want the listing?

 

 

My commitment to confidentiality is the same as when I was an RN in the hospital. Clients do not have to worry about keeping their business private.

 

But should you work with a friend?

When this question is raised by other agents, I have heard negative answers. It is usually from the other agent telling you not to work with your friend...they want the listing. Don't work with a friend, it might interfere with your relationship.

My response :

Is your friend the very best person to get the job done? 

Then yes, work them! 

 If not feel free to say: "I don't work with friends."

 

Margaret Rome

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Ambassador
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Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

 

Thom Abbott Finding out their situation is not the problem...not keeping it confidential is !!!

May 08, 2017 08:17 PM #26
Rainmaker
1,812,219
Andrew Mooers
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Had a fellow who's best friend was an agent but still called me to size up the house and handle the listing. I wondered why and asked and learned who the guy did not want his friend to get the commission, did not think he would work as hard because too familiar and did not think he would provide the service due to his increasing age.

May 09, 2017 02:20 AM #27
Rainmaker
287,908
John Wiley
Jones & Co. Realty - Fort Myers, FL
Lee County, FL Real Estate GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA

I agree that working with friends is decided on an individual basis.

We must be honest with ourselves as to whether we can emotionally give them the quality service they need.

For example, a divorcing couple that are both are friend can be a very difficult situation to be in.

May 09, 2017 03:44 AM #28
Rainmaker
3,201,677
Dorie Dillard
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.346.1799 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland ,

It does depend on the relationship and it is a business decision on both ends, you and your friend. If you are the best why should family or friends not use your services? I've successful worked with family and friends and it was a great experience. My first family member was my son when he got out of college..I asked him where he wanted to live? Then I said get in the car we are going to find something! He is a broker of his own company now and has many rental properties....he quickly learned why it is best to own rather than rent.

May 09, 2017 04:26 AM #29
Rainmaker
1,891,041
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Real Estate Agent, Top 1% of Lyon Agents
Lyon Real Estate - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

My concern with people choosing relatives to represent them over a better agent is exactly that. Most do not know how to determine who is a good agent. Guy's got a license, must be good, is what they think. Better off with family than a stranger sort of mentality. So I agree with you, Margaret, if that person is the BEST agent for them, then go ahead. But most of the time, it's not.

If I had a friend, I might work with that person. Depends on how much they might expect special favors. How reasonable they are. Just like anybody else.

May 09, 2017 08:19 AM #30
Ambassador
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Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

John Wiley A divorcing couple can be a challenge for anyone. Emotions can be high all around and you have to be up for the situation.

May 09, 2017 10:51 AM #31
Rainer
420,125
Kimo Jarrett
WikiWiki Realty - Huntington Beach, CA
Pro Lifestyle Solutions

I personally don't want to do business with anyone who feels uncomfortable doing business with me, so, it depends on the circumstances and whether it's suitable and beneficial to both you and client to enter a contract.  I don't get emotional when family members or friends choose another agent to represent them and I don't seek to ask why.

Business decisions are made every day and unfortunately many end up with inferior consequences. If you're confident in your abilities, working with anybody shouldn't ever be an issue regardless who it is as long as it's suitable and beneficial for both parties. 

May 09, 2017 02:02 PM #32
Ambassador
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Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Kimo Jarrett great comment. This would make a really good stand alone blog. 

May 09, 2017 03:04 PM #33
Rainmaker
2,434,409
Kathleen Daniels
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
San Jose Homes for Sale - Probate Broker

I saw sides of two long time friends years ago when I listed their home.  The darkest ugliest sides that I had not seen in 17 and 40 years.  Listings were canceled by me and I no longer associate with them.  That does not mean I put a blanket over all friends and won't work with friends ever again. It just means I helped some friends in the past and saw their inner ugly. 

I am not on this plantet to be abused my anyone ... most certainly not by clients.  We live. We learn. We grow. 

May 09, 2017 03:04 PM #34
Ambassador
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Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Kathleen Daniels We have all seen the dark ugly  side of buyers and sellers whether they are friends or not. We have all taken on the toxic client and we have gotten wiser by knowing it is our choice to cut them loose. We do live, learn and grow. Thank you.

May 09, 2017 05:46 PM #35
Rainer
377,337
Dörte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Margaret,

Gaining a commission is not worth losing a friend. If they are not comfortable, the experience may go sideways despite our best efforts. For those, who are comfortable, our relationships may be strengthened by going through a complex process & overcoming obstacles together.

May 09, 2017 06:24 PM #36
Ambassador
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Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
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Dörte Engel Gaining a commission is not worth working with anyone  you don't choose.

May 09, 2017 06:39 PM #37
Rainer
377,337
Dörte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Margaret,

Very true.

May 09, 2017 07:37 PM #38
Ambassador
1,680,042
Tammie White, Broker
Franklin Homes Realty LLC - Franklin, TN
Franklin TN Homes for Sale

My 23-year old son is buying his first house. When he asked for my help, he assumed I would refer him out (he's buying in Nashville, not my usual market). I told him absolutely not. I would be working for him because I wanted him to get the best possible representation. Given that he travels a lot for work, he is beginning to see why a good agent is so important to the process. Hopefully, we'll have him under contract soon.

May 09, 2017 07:58 PM #39
Ambassador
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Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Tammie White Knowing you...he will be under contract soon. How proud you must be helping this young man! Keep us posted.

May 09, 2017 08:22 PM #40
Rainmaker
66,688
Walt Fish
Bay Area Home Inspection, LLC - Marquette, MI
Upper Michigan's Most Experienced Home Inspector

Run into this issue as well when doing home inspections. I treat each inspection the same, no matter who I represent. In some cases, I give a discount for a friend or a military member, but I never compromise my work. Also, I won't alter the report after the fact at the buyer request in order to give them more leverage to lower the price. Some have asked. ((i.e. re word something (defect) so it sounds more severe)).

May 10, 2017 04:56 AM #41
Rainmaker
409,463
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Specializing in Brookside, Waldo, Prairie Village

those are good questions to ask.  There are some friends I am extremely close to and I think:  I would not want to sell their home.  Too close. Can be so stressful. i would find an agent just as good as me and refer it.

May 10, 2017 07:54 AM #42
Ambassador
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Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR Only you can make these decisions about who you work with. 

May 10, 2017 07:11 PM #43
Rainmaker
594,785
Kasey & John Boles
Jon Gosche Real Estate, LLC - BoiseMeridianRealEstate.com - Boise, ID
Boise & Meridian, ID Ada/Canyon/Gem/Boise Counties

We have worked with many friends and family in the past.  This is not something I stay away from. -Kasey

May 12, 2017 05:42 PM #44
Ambassador
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Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Kasey & John Boles And I am sure you have helped many friends and family members over the years.

May 12, 2017 06:05 PM #45
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